Name the story
Emotions are the result of both what happens, and of the story you tell yourself about what happened.
- A victim story: it absolves you of your responsibility for what happened.
- A villain story: it exaggerates the faults of others and makes them responsible for what happened.
- A helpless story: it convinces you that any course of action is pointless.
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Similar ideas to Name the story
Master My Stories
Between an event and our reaction lies a critical space where we tell ourselves stories about what happened:
- Facts: What actually happened (observable)
- Story: The meaning we assign to those facts
- Feeling: Emotions generated by our story
- Action: ...
Challenge the story
You can take control of your emotions by asking yourself questions that provoke you out of your victim, villain, and helpless stories.
For example, transform yourself from victim into an actor, by asking: "What am I pretending not to know about my role in this situation?”
Tell a story
Instead of giving direct advice, tell a brief story about what happened to you or someone else that could shed light on your friend’s situation.
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