"Why do I keep emotionally unavailable or toxic individuals as friends?" by Camp Chieflings - Deepstash

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Toxic Relationship Based on Psychology.

Psychologists have observed that our adult relationships often mirror patterns learned in childhood

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Attachment theory.

Attachment theory suggests that the emotional bonds formed in childhood become templates for our adult relationships.

For example, if childhood caregivers were inconsistent, one might associate love with unreliability and tolerate confusing or harmful signals as an adult, mistaking inconsistency for love.

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The “I Can Fix Them” Mentality:

Our brains are wired for challenge, and we sometimes view "winning over" a toxic person as a personal achievement. This gives us a false sense of worth, believing we must be special if they finally choose to love us.

Truth: People only change when they truly want to

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**Fear of Loneliness:

We sometimes remain in toxic relationships because the thought of being single feels worse. Society can pressure us into settling to avoid judgment. 1 Corinthians 7:32-35 encourages singleness as an opportunity to serve God without distraction.

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1 CORINTHIANS 7:32-35

 I want you to be free from anxieties. The unmarried man is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to please the Lord. 33 But the married man is anxious about worldly things, how to please his wife, 34 and his interests are divided. And the unmarried or betrothed woman is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to be holy in body and spirit. But the married woman is anxious about worldly things, how to please her husband. 35 I say this for your own benefit, not to lay any restraint upon you, but to promote good order and to secure your undivided devotion to the Lord.

1 CORINTHIANS 7:32-35

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The “Scarcity" Mindset

Psychologists call this the "scarcity mindset," when a person believes they won’t find anything better, and then settle for less.

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Other Psychological Factors

Other Psychological Factors

  • The “I Can Fix Them” Mentality
  • Fear of Loneliness
  • The Scarcity Mindset

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Conclusion

Friendship shouldn’t feel like a battle. Don’t be hard on yourself if you’ve fallen for toxic people. Apply the tips on how to escape the toxic cycle.

Next UP: Is your friend good for you? Check if he or she has these 7 traits

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IDEAS CURATED BY

christianchief

Self Leadership and Development Enthusiast. Passionately learning and documenting how a life in Christ radically transforms ANYONE into leadership material.

CURATOR'S NOTE

Friendship is an aspect of social life that can positively or negatively affect the well-being of a person

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