For five years in a row, Finland has ranked No. 1 as the happiest country in the world, according to the <a href="https://worldhappiness.report/news/finland-wins-double-gold-in-world-happiness-report-2018/">World Happiness Report </a>.  In 2022's report, people in 156 countries were asked to "value their lives today on a 0 to 10 scale, with the worst possible life as a 0." It also looks at factors that contribute to social support, life expectancy, generosity and absence of corruption.

As a <a href="https://frankmartela.com/">Finnish philosopher and psychology </a>researcher who studies the fundamentals of happiness, I'm often asked: What exactly makes people in Finland so exceptionally satisfied with their lives?To maintain a high quality of life, here are three things we never do:

There's a famous line by a Finnish poet: "Kell' onni on, se onnen kätkeköön." Roughly translated, it means: Don't compare or brag about your happiness. Finns really <a href="https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/full/10.1111/ijsw.12233">take this to heart </a>, especially when it comes to material things and overt displays of wealth.

1. We don't compare ourselves to our neighbors.

I once ran into one of the wealthiest men in Finland. He was pushing his toddler in a stroller towards the tram station. He could have bought himself an expensive car or hire a driver, but he opted for public transportation. That's what success looks like in Finland: just like everyone else.  Happiness tip : Focus more on what makes you happy and less on looking successful. The first step to true happiness is to set your own standards, instead of comparing yourself to others.

According to a <a href="https://www.sitra.fi/en/news/survey-almost-90-per-cent-of-finnish-people-consider-nature-important-to-themselves-there-is-a-wide-range-of-relationships-with-nature-no-single-right-one/">2021 survey, </a>87% of Finns feel that nature is important to them because it provides them with peace of mind, energy and relaxation. In Finland, employees are entitled to <a href="https://tem.fi/en/annual-holiday">four weeks of summer holiday </a>. Many of us use that time to hit the countryside and immerse ourselves in nature. The fewer amenities, even to the point of no electricity or running water in the house, the better.

2. We don't overlook the benefits of nature.

A lot of Finnish cities are also densely built, which means that many people have access to nature at their doorsteps. I live next to Helsinki Central Park, where I go on regular walks. Happiness tip : Spending time in nature <a href="https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S0272494409000838">increases our vitality </a>,<a href="https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1080/17439760.2014.994224">well-being </a>and a <a href="https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s10902-019-00118-6">gives us a sense of personal growth </a>. Find ways to add some greenery to your life, even if it's just buying a few plants for your home.

Finnish people tend to trust each other and value honesty. If you forget your laptop in a library or lost your phone on the train, you can be quite confident you'll get it back. Kids also often take a public bus home from school and play outside without supervision.

3. We don't break the community circle of trust.

Happiness tip: Think about how you can show up for your community. How can you create more trust? How can you support policies that build upon that trust? Small acts like opening doors for strangers or giving up a seat on the train makes a difference, too.

A Psychology Expert in Finland lists 3 Things That They Never Do That Increase Happiness 

For five years in a row, Finland has been ranked the No. 1 happiest country in the world. A Finnish philosopher and psychology expert shares the habits that make people in Finland so exceptionally satisfied with their lives.

Understand yourself and those around you.

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I'm a psychology expert in Finland, the No. 1 happiest country in the world—here are 3 things we never do

- If you trust your inner voice, it leads you to do the right thing.- Being true to yourself is very important in your life

1. Follow Your Heart 

- Treat every situation as a blessing or a lesson.- Be hopeful and optimistic.- It helps you to lead a peaceful life.

2. Look For The Positive.

- Hold yourself accountable for every minute, every decision and every choice of yours.- Dont make execuses or blame others.- They don't take you any where.- You are the star of your life

3. Be Responsible

- Expressing gratitude and being grateful is a great virtue...- It makes you happy and people around you happy.

4. Be Grateful

- Dont hold grudges. You dont know what others are going through.- It disturbs your peace of mind. Let go. Time heals everything.

5. Forgive others

- Every single day in your life, before going to bed, ask yourself do i have any regrets about today?- do I have any regrets in my life? Yes? Start fixing it next moment.

6. Never have any regrets.

- Be honest with yourself- Look in the mirror and answer the below questions- Who do I want to be? what do I love? what do I want to change? where I now? And where do I want to be 5 years?- First have a clear picture about what you want, then plan and implement.

7. Be Honest

- Do not be a quitter.- do not say, 'I can't' . never give up.- Put your best efforts and things will fall into place.

8. Don't quit.

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8 Tips for Self Analysis.

"We fall in love with those who care for us in familiar ways."

<ul><li>As adults, we find ourselves rejecting certain candidates not because they're wrong for us, but because they're a little too right.</li><li>We are unfamiliar with such rightness, it feels foreign and unearned.</li></ul>

Why are we scared of the love we deserve?

"To choose our partner wisely, we need to tease out how certain compulsions to suffering may be playing themselves out in our feeling of attraction."

"It's your job to make your significant other happier — not happy, but happier. They should already be happy before they get into the relationship; it isn't fair to you that you be their source of happiness."

We are actually (only) attracted by people who have the style of love similar to our parent's in the past. And our choices are limited by that tendency, which sometimes result in toxic relationship. To choose a partner wisely, we should examine our past and free ourselves from it (e.g. When we have a toxic parent.)

Summary

We’re given very little guidance on how to choose our partners and tend to leave it to that mysterious force we know as ‘instinct’. However, it truly pays to be a little more rational in this area and work out how our instincts operate and why they push us towards some people and away from others. For gifts and more from The School of Life, visit our online shop: https://goo.gl/lLmtDZ Join our mailing list: http://bit.ly/2e0TQNJ Or visit us in person at our London HQ: https://goo.gl/scNBv2 FURTHER READING “How do we choose the people we fall in love with? The Romantic answer is that our instincts naturally guide us to individuals who are kind and good for us. Love is a sort of ecstasy that descends when we feel ourselves in the presence of a benign and nourishing soul, who will answer our emotional needs, understand our sadness and strengthen us for the hard tasks of our lives. In order to locate our lover, we must let our instincts carry us along, taking care never to impede them through pedantic psychological analysis and introspection or else considerations of status, wealth or lineage. Our feelings will tell us clearly enough when we have reached our destiny. To ask someone with any degree of rigour why exactly they have chosen a particular partner is – in the Romantic world-view – simply an unnecessary and offensive misunderstanding of love: true love is an instinct that accurately and naturally settles on those with a capacity to make us happy.…” You can read more on this and other subjects on our blog, here: https://goo.gl/IkAGvy MORE SCHOOL OF LIFE Our website has classes, articles and products to help you think and grow: https://goo.gl/1y98gz Watch more films on RELATIONSHIPS in our playlist: http://bit.ly/TSOLrelationships Do you speak a different language to English? Did you know you can submit Subtitles on all of our videos on YouTube? For instructions how to do this click here: https://goo.gl/J1yL37 S6UUH4 SOCIAL MEDIA Feel free to follow us at the links below: S6UUH4 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/theschooloflifelondon/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/TheSchoolOfLife Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theschooloflifelondon/ CREDITS Produced in collaboration with: Zedem media http://www.zedemanimations.com/ #TheSchoolOfLife

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We’re given very little guidance on how to choose our partners and tend to leave it to that mysterious force we know as ‘instinct’. However, it truly pays to be a little more rational in this area and work out how our instincts operate and why they push us towards some people and away from others.  For gifts and more from The School of Life, visit our online shop:  https://goo.gl/lLmtDZ
Join our mailing list: http://bit.ly/2e0TQNJ 
Or visit us in person at our London HQ: https://goo.gl/scNBv2


FURTHER READING
“How do we choose the people we fall in love with? The Romantic answer is that our instincts naturally guide us to individuals who are kind and good for us. Love is a sort of ecstasy that descends when we feel ourselves in the presence of a benign and nourishing soul, who will answer our emotional needs, understand our sadness and strengthen us for the hard tasks of our lives. In order to locate our lover, we must let our instincts carry us along, taking care never to impede them through pedantic psychological analysis and introspection or else considerations of status, wealth or lineage. Our feelings will tell us clearly enough when we have reached our destiny. To ask someone with any degree of rigour why exactly they have chosen a particular partner is – in the Romantic world-view – simply an unnecessary and offensive misunderstanding of love: true love is an instinct that accurately and naturally settles on those with a capacity to make us happy.…”
You can read more on this and other subjects on our blog, here: https://goo.gl/IkAGvy


MORE SCHOOL OF LIFE

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How To Choose A Partner Wisely

Mimetism was not Rene Girard original idea. It can be traced to David Hume who observed one's actions reverberates to the rest like the strings of a violin. It describes humans as a social specie, prone to co-vibrations aka under the influence of other people's actions.<ul><li>Mimetism is a social technology to get to the subjectivity of others. But ...</li><li>Mimetism is a tendency, but also a capacity. It leaves room for individual agency. At any time, you, the player, can choose the next string to pluck.</li></ul>

Mimetism as the Strings of a Violin

The basic mimetic behaviour manifests in society in more meaningful ways:<ul><li>Through prestige. The respect, admiration, and high regard that is accorded to someone has less to do with the objective qualities of the person and more with the adherence to normative values.</li><li>A step higher is the real of the sacred. For Girard this is just a dial up of mimesis. The power of a sacred relic lies just with the collective admiration that one feels compelled to mimic. Gods live only as long as there are rituals of belief.</li></ul>

Normative Evolution, Prestige and Gods

Mimesis is both the strongest and necessary authority for us to hold normative values. It more than any faculty decides what we think of beautiful, as good ... what laws we think of just or what sexual relationships we think of as legitimate or depraved. Even what we strive to be like.

Mimetic desire can be separated in:<ul><li>a desire to experience (physical desire)</li><li>a desire to be (metaphysical desire). We chase objects for what they say about us on for the fullness of being that we expect them to confer upon us.</li></ul>ex: We may chase a sexual partner for how they make us feel or for the social status of being with them. We may start a company for the thrill of the struggle or because we want to be like like the Silicon Valley tech bros. The balance of the 2 will vary from person to person, but pride and ambition are strongly correlated with metaphysical desire.

The 2 twin components of mimetic desire

Metaphysical desire is focused on our identity, our ego, our spirit ... the core of what we are. This itself can be broken down into 3 components:<ol><li>Reality. We want our existence to be observed and noticed by others. What really matters is not the physical experience but what others think it's real.</li><li>Persistence. We want our identities to last through time. We are obsessed with achieving some immortality. </li><li>Self-sufficiency: Deals with having the power of the social realm to fulfil our thirsts. It's what Nietzsche calls "the will to power". It has a lot to do with domination over others.</li></ol>

The 3 Components of Being

We crave objects because other people we look up are associated with those objects: a celebrity, a parent, a colleague etc... The faulty logic being that our acquisition of the object will grant us the same sense of being as our role-model. Desire is not a straight line from subject to object, but a triangular path to object through the role model.

The Faulty logic of Object Acquisition

Not all our actions will be motivated by metaphysical desire, but out of the possible motivations ... it is the strongest. In commercial terms it means products that focus on it will command the most value. It explains the success of branding, the celebrity culture and consumerism as a whole.

The Power of Metaphysical Desire

<ul><li>Malleability. They are highly dependent on our mediators. If I grew up with a Don Juan father I may seek superficial relationship. </li><li>Power. The more we get motivated by it the more we loose our agency. The tulip buying mania, the 2001 dotcom crash etc.</li><li>Deceitful: We are oblivious that we are confusing an object for a state of being. </li><li>Ungovernable: It is not ruled by reason. Reason becomes a spoke-person to our spirit. Not the source of action, but its justification.</li></ul>

The 4 Qualities of Metaphysical Desires

The second part of the lecture on Girard. More in depth look at desires.

Mimesis, mimetic desire, and metaphysical desire are the fundamental building blocks of Girard’s psychology. They will show us how even the most intimate aspects of our identity can be radically shaped by others and how to distinguish vanity from authenticity. These psychological fundaments are what make humans social animals, why prestige and recognition matter so much to us, and how we are able to form cultures and even language itself. They are responsible for humanity’s greatest achievements, but they also render us helplessly fallen. Under scrutiny, metaphysical desire will reveal itself to be none other than original sin. 00:00:00 Introduction 00:03:51 Mimesis 00:08:16 Mimesis and Normativity 00:17:34 Mimetic Desire 00:29:17 What is Meant by "Being" 00:31:53 The First End of Being: Reality 00:34:38 The Second End of Being: Persistence 00:35:31 The Third End of Being: Self-sufficiency 00:41:36 Metaphysical Desire 00:50:14 The Malleability of Metaphysical Desire 00:52:09 The Power of Metaphysical Desire 00:53:30 The Deceitfulness of Metaphysical Desire 00:58:18 The Ungovernability of Metaphysical Desire 01:00:31 Original Sin

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Mimesis, mimetic desire, and metaphysical desire are the fundamental building blocks of Girard’s psychology. They will show us how even the most intimate aspects of our identity can be radically shaped by others and how to distinguish vanity from authenticity. These psychological fundaments are what make humans social animals, why prestige and recognition matter so much to us, and how we are able to form cultures and even language itself. They are responsible for humanity’s greatest achievements, but they also render us helplessly fallen. Under scrutiny, metaphysical desire will reveal itself to be none other than original sin. 

00:00:00 Introduction
00:03:51 Mimesis
00:08:16 Mimesis and Normativity
00:17:34 Mimetic Desire
00:29:17 What is Meant by "Being"
00:31:53 The First End of Being: Reality
00:34:38 The Second End of Being: Persistence
00:35:31 The Third End of Being: Self-sufficiency
00:41:36 Metaphysical Desire
00:50:14 The Malleability of Metaphysical Desire
00:52:09 The Power of Metaphysical Desire
00:53:30 The Deceitfulness of Metaphysical Desire
00:58:18 The Ungovernability of Metaphysical Desire
01:00:31 Original Sin

If I were not Diogenes, I wish I were Alexander.

Johnathan at Limbo

Lecture II: Mimetic Desire and Original Sin | René Girard's Mimetic Theory

René Girard's Mimetic Theory - Lecture 2

<ul><li>To fail is to learn.</li><li>Go out there and do your best and when you fall down, get up again. Keep falling down, but keep getting up.</li><li>“Success is stumbling from failure to failure with no loss of enthusiasm.”</li><li>You can go fast, go slow, but don’t stop.</li></ul>

The willingness to try, to fail, and to learn.

<ul><li>When people are telling you to “Stop and be realistic”, it means you’re on the right path.</li><li>It is not a lack of education that causes great failures. It is a lack of imagination.</li><li>With challenges comes opportunity.</li><li>The only failure that should concern you is the failure of NOT taking action.</li><li>Your habits can make or break you.</li></ul>

<ul><li>When you love who you are at the highest level, you will never fear failing again.</li><li>“The world breaks everyone, and afterward, some are strong at the broken places.”</li><li>A lack of action equals a lack of results.</li><li>Fail your way to success, and conquer the “Everest” of your dreams.</li></ul>

Fail Big is the master blueprint for converting failure into a positive experience

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The Fear of Failing Ends Here. The Courage to Fail Forward Begins Now. The fear of failure can damage self-esteem, cripple your confidence, and trigger psychological fears leading to action paralysis. The solution to handling failure is by changing your perspective. Through practical exercises, personal examples and real-life case studies, Fail Big is the ultimate guide that teaches you how to channel failure into a winning formula for creating limitless opportunity. In Fail Big, you'll discover specific strategies to: <ul>Overcome the limiting beliefs repeatedly failing you</li><li>Turn your negative setbacks into big wins</li><li>Eliminate anxiety through developing deeper levels of self-compassion</li><li>Embrace the fear of taking risks and push through resistance</li><li>Destroy imposter syndrome and gain limitless confidence in every area of your life</li></ul> Written by international bestselling author and personal development leader Scott Allan, Fail Big is the master blueprint for converting failure into a positive experience that accelerates your personal growth. You will learn critical skills for developing a bulletproof mindset that empowers you to break through any obstacle. Read Fail Big today and turn hopelessness into courage and helplessness into a call for action that creates extraordinary results in your life, work and personal relationships.

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<ul><li>Insufficient self-control schema is the experience of states of impulsiveness, usually related to several compulsive behaviors. </li><li>If it’s tough for you to moderate or control your impulses around pleasure, you may have an insufficient self-control schema.  </li><li>Schema therapy defines the schema as originating in childhood attachment experience as a reaction to negative emotions. </li> </ul>

Key Points 

Insufficient <a href="https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/self-control">self-control </a>schema, outlined originally by Jeffrey Young, is the experience of states of impulsiveness, usually related to behaviors such as <a href="https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/eating-disorders">disordered eating </a>, substance use, excessive <a href="https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/internet-addiction">screen time </a>, shopping, and avoiding unpleasant, strenuous, or <a href="https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/boredom">boring </a>tasks. Schema <a href="https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/therapy">therapy </a>defines the schema as originating in <a href="https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/child-development">childhood </a><a href="https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/attachment">attachment </a>experience as a reaction to negative emotions; and is not to be confused with <a href="https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/adhd">ADHD </a>, though the two conditions can co-exist, and not in its origin an effect of <a href="https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/dopamine">dopamine </a>imbalance or <a href="https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/addiction">addiction </a>, though it may lead to them.

You may notice this voice in your head, especially around the holidays, with so much celebration and abundance of food, drink, and temptation (or the excuse to be tempted). If it’s tough for you to moderate or control your impulses around pleasure, you may have an insufficient self-control schema . You may have a hard time managing this impulsive part; it can be stronger and louder than any more responsible voice and just takes over. Some people call it "getting a case of the f*ck-its." How do you negotiate with "f*ck it"?

“I don’t want to stop, so I’m not going to. I don’t care what you say!”

This impulsive voice may be powered by needs that originate in childhood. If that feeling could talk, it would say something like: “I’ve been through too much, was treated poorly, and it’s unfair! So I deserve to do whatever I want to right now. I don’t care about the consequences! I need this to feel better, and I’m tired of going without it. I’ll just take care of myself and forget everyone else.”

You likely don’t experience this schema all the time. Certain life experiences may trigger it, however. Around the holidays, the schema may be looking for chances to pounce. You’ll know you’re in it if you have an <a href="https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/self-talk">inner voice </a>that sounds like an impulsive child and you see the following behaviors: <ol><li>Need for immediate gratification in food or substances </li><li>Avoiding hard or boring tasks </li><li>Acting out in relationships, pouting </li><li>Refusing to consider consequences </li> </ol>

Four Insufficient Self-Control Behaviors

From birth, human beings are motivated to find relief from suffering, starting with the physical needs of safety, food, and comfort. As they mature, people experience emotional needs–especially the need for love, acceptance, and care–more acutely. If a child is in a situation of neglect or seriously flawed <a href="https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/parenting">parenting </a>, they may turn back to physical needs to try and feel security and comfort. Very often, this is food, but it can also be avoiding schoolwork and chores–just generally being self-indulgent.

Insufficient Self-Control Schema Originates in Childhood Emotional Hardship

Childhood experiences leading to insufficient self-control may include: <ol><li>Not feeling safe in your environment </li><li>Disorganized or harsh parental authority/structure </li><li>Overly permissive parents </li><li>Emotionally detached parents </li><li>Parents with addiction </li><li>Childhood <a href="https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/trauma">trauma </a> </li> </ol>

The most effective way to manage impulse control problems is by preventing them from getting triggered in the first place. Think of it like this: you are a competent adult who is also carrying an impulsive child within. That child may be triggered by certain emotion-based troubles, like feeling neglected, treated unfairly, or hurt. Once that triggering happens, you have an upset child on your hands who won’t be happy until they get gratification.

Strategies for Coping with Insufficient Self-Control

So your job is to try and get to know that inner child, know what upsets them, and try to avoid their triggers. When triggers do happen, have some non-problematic forms of gratification at hand.

<ol><li>Structure, structure, structure. To avoid triggers, plan ahead, anticipating challenges that trigger the inner child. Are you having a long day? Demanding a lot of yourself? Plan little treats or breaks throughout the day. Think of them as micro-dosing of self-care.</li><li>Avoid opportunities for the child to act out. If you know someone’s bringing donuts to the office, go for a walk until the coast is clear.</li></ol>

Six Ways to Manage Your Impulsive Inner Child

3. Care for your inner child using self-talk and <a href="https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/meditation">meditation </a>. Start with small steps: just a few minutes of meditation a day. As you work your way up to longer meditation periods, you’ll notice that impulsive child trying to come out. ("Come on! This is stupid! It’s been long enough!”) Spend quality time with your inner child, explaining that you understand they are hurt and upset and that you'll take good care of them, and your way will help them more than acting out. Have patience and kindness, but be firm.

4. Develop a toolbox of healthy forms of gratification . Keep some kind of healthy snack at hand. Have a simple meditation practiced. Text a “buddy” who will help you cope. Have a music playlist for “emergencies.” Write a note to your triggered self to keep handy for later use when triggered.

5. Set <a href="https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/motivation">goals </a>, use a planner, and use smartphone notifications. If you’re going to a party, tell yourself you’ll stick to one kind of drink, and have a cut-off time in mind, then switch to seltzer with lime–whatever you like, but have that alternative planned. Use a planner to structure your time, so you don’t stumble into triggering experiences. Use your notifications and alerts for pop-up reminders.

6. Recover and keep going. We are not perfect, and we cause more trouble when we expect ourselves to be. Be OK with the fact that there will be times when that impulsive kid is unstoppable! Remember, they come out of an original context of a child trying to care for themself. Be compassionate with them, and allow yourself to recover from the acting out. Just get back to it when you can. <a href="https://www.self-talk-therapy.com/my-book"> </a>

Insufficient self-control is not necessarily an addiction, though people with addiction issues may also have this schema. If you feel you may have an addiction issue, consult a mental health professional, or <a href="https://www.samhsa.gov/find-help/national-helpline">get help 24/7 by going here </a>.

Is This Addiction?

6 Signs Your Self-Control Issues Come From Childhood Neglect 

Plus six steps you can take to successfully cope.

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6 Signs Your Self-Control Issues Come From Childhood Neglect

IIsolation can provide a distraction-free environment, allowing individuals to focus on their work or personal projects more efficiently.

Increased Focus And Productivity 

Being alone can provide an opportunity to reflect on one's thoughts and feelings, leading to increased self-awareness and personal growth.

Personal Growth And Self-discovery

Without external distractions, people may have more time and mental space to come up with new ideas and solutions.

Creativity And Innovation 

Isolation can provide a chance to relax and recharge, leading to improved physical and mental well-being

Improved Mental And Physical Health 

Taking time to be alone can allow individuals to fully engage in their relationships with others, resulting in stronger and more meaningful connections

Stronger Relationships

Increased independence: Isolation can provide an opportunity for people to develop independence and self-reliance, as they are forced to rely on their own resources and abilities.

Increased Independence 

Improved time management skills: Without external distractions, people may become more mindful of how they spend their time, leading to improved time management skills.

Being alone can provide an opportunity to better understand one's own emotions and thoughts, leading to increased empathy and understanding of others

Increased Empathy And Understanding 

Isolation can provide a chance to prioritize self-care practices, such as exercising, cooking healthy

Improved Self-care 

Without the distractions of daily life, people may have more time and mental space to pursue hobbies and interests, leading to personal development and growth.

Opportunity For Personal Development 

For more life regarding valuable guidance follow me 👇<a href="https://medium.com/@xubair1915">Xubair1915 on Medium </a>

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Isolation is the path to self discovery and understanding life. 

Only Through Isolation We Reach Elevation 

A French philosopher he developed a unique worldview based on the concept of mimetic desire. According to him, human beings are constantly seeking to imitate and emulate the desires of others, and this process of imitation drives much of human behavior and social dynamics.His main idea is that desire is always mediated through the desires of others, and that this process of imitation creates conflicts and rivalries that are fundamental to human society.He is gaining a lot of praise recently with lots of Silicon Valley luminaries listing him as a major intellectual influencer.

René Girard

Girard observed that our desires are social. We rarely desire an object for it's intrinsic functional qualities. We usually use the objects as proxies for an identity we envy. Desire are not fixed or innate, but rather constantly changing & under the influence of the people we encounter. We can see this in advertising, when we buy sneakers to be like Jordan, not to run a marathon. When we date a certain person because others will see us a certain way and so on.

Mimetic Desire

For Girard, we are different than animals because of our desires, our myths, our lies. We invent stories, we go to war for abstract concepts etc. This is a the object of his psychological focused philosophy. Similar to how class was the nexus of socialism, how casts worked in Hinduism, or rationality in liberalism.

Spirited Animals

According to Girard, is a social mechanism that arrises from a cataclysmic event. A troubled society murders an "innocent" victim (blamed for all evils) & thus gains cathartic release and gains new new Gods. This event is dramatised, captured in myth and then translated back into the society in the form of rituals & prohibitions. Ex: Julius Caesar is ritually killed as he is blamed for the fall of the Republic. However, as his nephew becomes emperor, Caesar becomes a God. And later on an institution emulated by all rulers.

Girardian Scapegoating

The Christian mythology follows the same Girardian arc: civil unrest in Judea, Jesus crucified as a scapegoat, turned into a God, institutionalized through the church. However, the unique element is that the story is told for the perspective of the victim, rather than of the accusers. In the Bible, the victim is innocent, the crowd was mistaken.It is this unique care for the victim that spills into our modern worldview and institutions: from human rights to work ethic. In a sense we all live in a Christian society even if we don't consider ourselves as Christians.

The Uniqueness of Christian Scapegoating 

For Girard, violence is natural. But modern day seems quite peaceful. And Girard credits 2 institutions:<ul><li>capitalism: which Girard sees it as a status seeking game more than a rational transfer of resources.</li><li>laws: a set of institutions that mediates disputes and acts as a monopoly on violence </li></ul>For Girard capitalism is this stew of violent energies that needs to be contained through laws. One can not function without the other.

The mechanism to protect against violence

It's no wonder the European aristocracy went into business as soon as heroes and warriors went out of fashion.

Basic Girardian ideas beautifully presented by a young philosopher, Jonathan Bo, in conversation with David Perell. 

Lecture I gives a brief overview of Girard’s life and work. It summarizes the key conclusions of mimetic theory, distilling the most crucial ideas of this 10+ hour long lectures series into a digestible 2 hours. For those who are short on time, this synopsis is sufficient to give you a taste of Girard. For those embarking on the full journey, this lecture is a rough map that will orient you throughout the expansive, tumultuous, and dizzying terrain ahead. 00:00:00 Introduction 00:05:05 The Case for Engaging Girard 00:19:34 The Structure of This Lecture Series 00:23:52 Girard's Biography 00:29:06 What We Cover in Lecture I 00:30:45 Mimesis 00:33:43 Metaphysical Desire 00:42:04 The Negative Phase of Mimesis 00:51:20 The Scapegoat Mechanism 01:03:05 Christianity 01:10:55 Love and Hypocrisy 01:13:38 Truth and Dogma 01:18:04 Innovation and Imitation 01:26:02 Violence and Apocalypse 01:37:16 The Case Against Engaging Girard

Lecture I gives a brief overview of Girard’s life and work. It summarizes the key conclusions of mimetic theory, distilling the most crucial ideas of this 10+ hour long lectures series into a digestible 2 hours. For those who are short on time, this synopsis is sufficient to give you a taste of Girard. For those embarking on the full journey, this lecture is a rough map that will orient you throughout the expansive, tumultuous, and dizzying terrain ahead. 

00:00:00 Introduction
00:05:05 The Case for Engaging Girard
00:19:34 The Structure of This Lecture Series
00:23:52 Girard's Biography
00:29:06 What We Cover in Lecture I
00:30:45 Mimesis
00:33:43 Metaphysical Desire
00:42:04 The Negative Phase of Mimesis
00:51:20 The Scapegoat Mechanism
01:03:05 Christianity
01:10:55 Love and Hypocrisy
01:13:38 Truth and Dogma
01:18:04 Innovation and Imitation
01:26:02 Violence and Apocalypse
01:37:16 The Case Against Engaging Girard

Lecture I: Introduction to Mimetic Theory | René Girard's Mimetic Theory

René Girard's Mimetic Theory - Lecture 1

As men and women are very different, each being unique and intricate, the idea that psychologically they differ and develop in contrasting ways is not a new concept. But, be prepared to put the nature-versus-nurture debate to rest, as you’ll soon learn it’s a bit of both by reading these psychological facts about boys.

Now, to understand the men in your life, a lot of that starts with understanding the boys they were. And, along with some incredible <a href="https://www.newinterestingfacts.com/interesting-facts-about-men/">facts about men </a>, knowing the most prevalent facts about boys is sure to enlighten, entertain, and educate. So, count yourself lucky as you’re in the right place to find out the most interesting psychology facts about boys.

It’s no secret that boys are pretty distinct in how they approach life right from the get-go. From learning to <a href="https://www.newinterestingfacts.com/psychological-facts-about-relationships/">relationships </a>and everything in between, the way their minds work and develop is quite interesting, to say the least. Here are 41 facts about boys that’ll blow your mind.

41 Psychological Facts About Boys

During their developmental years, boys are more heuristic learners. This means that a lot of the things they learn about the <a href="https://www.newinterestingfacts.com/facts-about-the-world/">world </a>around them are done through physical experience. In the case of boys, actions are more valued than words.

1. Boys Learn Through Experience

Studies have shown that, especially during the first five years of life, boys’ minds develop gross motor skills, spatial skills, and visual thinking. At the same time, <a href="https://www.newinterestingfacts.com/psychology-facts-about-girls/">girls </a>develop fine motor skills and verbal and social skills.

2. Boys Develop Different Skills Than Girls

Yes, it seems that girls do mature quite a bit faster than boys. On average, boys mentally mature anywhere from 12 months to two years slower than girls. And this gap follows them until adulthood.

3. There Is an Ever-Present Maturity Gap Between Boys and Girls

Psychologically boys have a far deeper attachment to loyalty than their counterparts. This means even from a young age, their minds will be focused on proving their loyalty to their families and friends, regardless of risk.

4. Boys Value Loyalty Above All

Using the art of visualization aids boys in excelling and succeeding. Boys can be influenced to strive for something when they can visually imagine themselves already accomplishing it. For example, a boy who is told that he can play in a band one day will learn to play an instrument far more quickly.

5. Boys Are Visual Learners

The mental image of seeing boys fight amongst themselves on school grounds is quite popular. And in fact, they have been found to engage in fights 20 times more than girls do. But, that’s because part of socializing in a boy’s psychology relies on aggression. And often, those they fight with will become better friends afterward.

6. They Are More Likely to Get Into Fights

While girls tend to have an innate ability to reflect regardless of their environment, boys benefit from silence and isolation. Some quiet time allows them to process their thoughts a lot easier.

7. A Moment of Silence Goes a Long Way

If you’ve ever seen boys get together, you’re probably already aware that they have a strong sense of connection. This comes from their base group-orientated nature, making them want to fit in or blend in. It is suggested that this is due to evolutionary traits dating back thousands of years.

8. It’s All About Fitting In for Boys

In connection with their need to fit in, boys mentally thrive on approval. Be it from their families or peers. There is one condition, though—whatever form the approval takes, if it’s not sincere, psychologically, boys will take note, and it won’t mean anything to them.

9. For Boys, Approval Is a Strong Driving Force

No, this isn’t related to attention span. When it comes to boys, their focus has been reported to be far more time based than girls. Living in the moment is an easy way to think of it. Psychologically this means that when boys are engaged in something, it’s best to talk to them about it while they’re doing it.

10. Boys Have a Relatively Short Focusing Ability

Boys, more often than girls, find it difficult to express themselves verbally. This comes down to a pressure-sensitive approach to communication, but boys are activity-based. Thus, talking to them while physically doing something takes away this sensitivity.

11. They Tend to Talk More While Active

Boys respond far better to specific questions. A classic example is asking “what” instead of “why”. This goes back to them having a momentarily focused mind. When a boy needs to recall a particular emotion or reaction, using the right words helps a lot. Especially during their developmental years, asking “what were you thinking/what were you doing” will get a better response.

12. It’s Important for Boys That You Ask the Right Questions

As men and women are very different, the idea that psychologically they differ and develop in contrasting ways is not a new concept. But you’ll soon learn it’s a bit of both by reading these psychological facts about boys.

41 Psychological Facts About Boys (2023) You Definitely Should Know I Interesting Facts

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