Now I've learnt nothing happens overnight — you are slowly chipping away at the career that you want to have, the person that you want to be, the partner you want to be, how you want to approach your health. How you approach life is really the sum of its parts.

Sum Of its Parts

Podcaster and author Linda Marigliano used to find it hard to relax. Broadening her view of success beyond work has helped. 

travel

Travel

'I can see at a glance if things are off-balance': Why Linda Marigliano's daily to-do list isn't just about work - ABC Everyday

Playful teasing of your partner without offending them comes with increasing love and respect towards one another

Playful Teasing 

<ul><li>seeing what your partner sees </li><li>flexible to change your mind with new information instead of holding onto your views due to pride </li></ul>

Mutually Open minded 

Get Surfshark VPN at https://Surfshark.deals/CINEMATHERAPY and enter promo code CINEMATHERAPY for a Holiday Special offer of 5 extra months for free with the Surfshark One package!

What makes a couple #couplegoals?

Licensed therapist Jonathan Decker and filmmaker Alan Seawright are basking in the delight of Hiccup and Astrid from the How to Train Your Dragon series. This was meant to be a Movie Couple Therapy episode, but once Jonathan watched the movies, he found no therapy to give, so he shares six reasons why they’re couple goals and why we should model our relationships after them. Alan talks about the animation and amazing artistry of these movies, but he can’t (and shouldn’t) shut up about the masterpiece of the score composed by John Powell. He also can’t stop crying when he hears it. 

Watch Therapist Reacts to HOW TO TRAIN YOUR DRAGON: https://youtu.be/SzzVbWKMmZ0

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Cinema Therapy is:
Written by: Megan Seawright, Jonathan Decker, and Alan Seawright
Produced by: Jonathan Decker, Megan Seawright, Alan Seawright, and Corinne Demyanovich
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English Transcription by: Anna Preis

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Understand yourself and those around you.

psychology

Psychology

loveandrelationships

Love & Relationships

videos

Videos

Making sense of life, one blockbuster at a time.

Licensed therapist Jonathan Decker and professional filmmaker Alan Seawright break down your favorite movies, searching the characters, themes, and plots to find things you can use to improve your mental health, your life, your looks? and your cardiovascular fitness (nope.)

Join them and their guests as they try to improve life, laugh at each other, and keep Alan from crying over everything.

Cinema Therapy

6 Reasons Hiccup and Astrid are Couple Goals (according to a couples therapist)

Successful careers come to those who make the best decisions; who are able to react and be responsible for decisions.

Decision Making 

The greatest mistake you can make in life is to be continually fearing you will make one

Knowledge work involves tasks that allows you to add or create value out of knowledge.

Knowledge Work 

Boss mode - deciding what your work is Worker mode - doing the work Knowledge work often involves being in boss mode and worker mode at the same time.

The Boss And The Worker 

Stress is reduced by clarity. Clarity is increased by attention

In any given day, our attention can range between being active, proactive and inactive. We have around 3 hours of proactive attention time to do our most important work of the day.

Attention During The Work Week 

Thinking is the hardest work there is, which is the probable reason why so few engage in it

<ol><li> Get new ideas off your mind as quickly as possible - silence the boss </li><li>process email rather than check email</li></ol>

Protecting Your Attention From Interruptions And Distractions 

In times of life crisis, whether wild fires or smouldering stress, the first thing I do is go back to basis… am I eating right, am I getting enough sleep, am I getting some physical and mental exercise everyday?

<ol><li> Keep hydrated to maintain concentration </li><li>Opt for 5/6 small meals during the day instead of 3 big meals for an even release of energy </li><li>Eat breakfast</li><li>Eat vitamin heavy food for an balanced diet </li><li>Use caffeine sparsely or remove it entirely </li><li>Focus on low GI foods as they release energy slowest and more consistently</li><li>Avoid sugary drinks and energy drinks </li><li>Use brain fuel supplements </li><li>Sleep </li></ol>

Brain Fuel 

One of the most important soft skills you can have is figuring out how to deal with a high volume of email. And the only way to do that is to put some kind of system in place that’s simple and repeatable and is going to allow you to have an actual life outside of email

<ol><li>Your inbox is not your to do list, but is a place where emails land.</li><li>Process your emails rather than checking them </li></ol>

Approach to Emails 

World-leading productivity expert Graham Allcott's business bible is given a complete update for 2019. Do you waste too much time on your phone? Scroll through Twitter or Instagram when you should be getting down to your real tasks? Is your attention easily distracted? We've got the solution: The Way of the Productivity Ninja. In the age of information overload, traditional time management techniques simply don't cut it anymore. Using techniques including Ruthlessness, Mindfulness, Zen-like Calm and Stealth & Camouflage, this fully revised new edition of How to be a Productivity Ninja offers a fun and accessible guide to working smarter, getting more done and learning to love what you do again.

business

Business

books

Books

humanresources

Human Resources

leadershipandmanagement

Leadership & Management

Graham Allcott

How to Be a Productivity Ninja

I was in a meeting and had a lunch to attend at 12pm. I had to interrupt my meeting to leave prematurely. At first I didn’t want to interrupt, because I didn’t want to communicate my need to leave and felt the easier option was to go to the lunch late. But I realised that it was important to communicate my needs and was met with understanding instead of resentment.

motivationandinspiration

Motivation & Inspiration

Communicating my needs

The byproduct of someone not respecting or acknowledging your boundaries is the emergence of anger and resentment.

Navigating Boundaries

A Conformist type of boundary setter believes that their boundaries need to be communicated perfectly and effectively in order to be understood - but this is incorrect. Boundaries can be imperfectly communicated and reinforced where necessary.

Conformist And Boundaries 

By communicating your boundaries imperfectly, you give others the space to make mistakes and adjust.

By communicating your boundaries imperfectly:

By acknowledging the implicit, it becomes explicit, holding the power to change the scripts you tell yourself.

By acknowledging the implicit:

“We can say what we need to say. We can gently but assertively speak our mind. We do not need to be judgemental, tactless, blaming or cruel when we speak our truths”

We do not have control over what thoughts come into our mind or what feelings we experience. We can only give space and accept these thoughts and feelings as they are.

When enforcing your boundaries, you are not responsible for how other people react to your boundaries.

Reacting To Boundaries 

If someone reacts negatively to the boundaries you have enforced, it does not mean your boundary was wrong.

Enforcing Boundaries

<ol><li>If you …….</li><li>I will ……..</li><li>and if it continues, I will …….</li></ol>

Setting A Boundary

You can adjust the strength of your boundaries as permeable, flexible, fixed or rigid.

Different Boundary Strengths 

When enforcing your boundaries you are not required to justify yourself or over explain and have the right to say no. You also cannot expect automatic compliance from other people, and requires maintenance.

Setting a boundary is not the same as making a threat Boundary: “I can’t stay in the marriage or live with you when your addiction is not managed. If you don’t stop abusing alcohol, I will love out and start divorce proceedings” Threat: “If you divorce me, I will make sure you never see the kids again”

Boundary V Threat 

Boundaries draw a circle around you so that you feel safe to be yourself

It is your responsible to constantly communicate, enforce and maintain your boundaries.

Communicate, Enforce, Maintain 

The popular metaphor uses a person’s desire for a cup of tea as an example of consent

Consent 

In life, people fall in different circles of intimacy and influence, depending on how close we are to them. These circles range from the closest inner circle to the outer circle. The closer we feel to someone, the closer they are to our inner circle. 
As we trust and respect someone, they move towards our inner circle of intimacy. The people in this inner circle are our closest friends and family, while those in the outer circle are acquaintances or strangers. It's essential to understand the different levels of intimacy and influence to build and maintain strong relationships.

Circles Of Intimacy And Influence

You don’t own their feelings. When loved ones want the best for us, it can result in their projections of fear. Be mindful of sharing your hopes and dreams with people who lead from a place of fear, otherwise any self-doubt you experience will be intensified and you risk being thrown from your path”

Setting Boundaries is not just about saying 'no'. It is about pursuing the things that set our soul on fire, loving deeply without losing ourselves, and better resisting the demands and expectations of others. Dr Rebecca Ray, Australian clinical psychologist and author, shows how boundaries are the key to many of the emotional and practical difficulties we encounter in daily life. Many of us, raised to be people-pleasers, find ourselves giving in to draining colleagues, friends, partners and relatives. In Setting Boundaries, Dr Ray shares science-based advice and tools to help you: - identify your boundaries and when they have been crossed - recognise the patterns and habits that have failed to support you to feel empowered - engage in difficult conversations from a place of strength and self-kindness - set clear, intentional boundaries and become your most loving, fulfilled and authentic self. Accessible, inspiring and deeply practical, Setting Boundaries ignites us to rethink our relationships, reclaim our lives and protect our mental health and wellbeing. Praise for Setting Boundaries 'Within the first two pages I found myself exclaiming, She's so brilliant. That's exactly how it is! - Dr Libby Weaver 'Yet another valuable contribution from Dr Rebecca Ray and one I can genuinely and sincerely recommend.' - Dr Tim Sharp 'I will return to this book over and over again when I'm feeling lost and need a comforting voice of support.' - Alison Daddo 'This book has changed my life so much. I think it's Beck's style of writing and connection to her audience. It's real, relatable and doable! I have radically seen shifts in my life from reading Beck's words.' - Tanya Hennessy, Sexy

personaldevelopment

Personal Development

Rebecca Ray

Setting Boundaries

“It is impossible for a man to learn what he thinks he already knows”

The unknown can be scary, but it also unwritten and full of possibility. Some view the unknown as something to be feared, while others approach it with curiosity and openness - the former is traumatised from the past while the latter inspired by the future.

Perspectives

A mother and her small child sat opposite me on the train. The child was being fed a banana as she started out the window. I was amazed how she had the intuition to wipe her face as she ate, and wondered how much more she could learn if she was given the banana to eat, instead of being fed. The mother was fully attentive to her child, and did not have her phone nearby. I found it refreshing.

parenting

Parenting

Play can allow girls to connect their inner world with the outer world

Nature Play

Imagination facilitates a sense of wonder and spontaneity unique to childhood

Imagination

Pretend play allows children to learn about how the real world works (pg 230)

Pretend Play

If choosing which screen to occupy your child, opt for the TV instead of a phone/iPad. Program content for children is of higher quality with 0 ads. Children also do other activities such as colouring and move about as they watch TV, compared to if they are glued to a portable screen.

Screens 

Girls can mimic behaviours like relational aggression because at a young age they don’t see the virtual world ( where these behaviours might be displayed) as different from the real world.

Friendships

“Girls are still raised with a psychology that is trained to think about other people before themselves. This is a real recipe for disaster”

Girls seem to be conditioned to seek individualisation only under certain circumstances<ol><li>Be confident but not conceited </li><li>Be smart, but no-one likes a know-it-all</li><li>Ambition is good, but trying too hard is bad </li><li>Be assertive, but only if it doesn’t upset anyone else. </li></ol>

Over-apologising 

It takes courage to “stand up for what you do and don’t want to do, especially when you feel pressured……to trust the boundaries of what [you do] and [don’t] feel comfortable with. Brave enough not to bend because the world says [you] should.”

Healthy Boundaries

Your feelings can provide insight into your reaction before the conscious mind.

Inner Voice

Humour is a healthy coping mechanism for girls and is a healthy way to regulate emotions.

Humour 

When little girls are stressed “remember just to listen, validate their feelings and ask how you can help”

'Maggie is a national treasure.' Tracey Spicer, AM '. . . sage wisdom for parenting and supporting girls.' Mona Delahooke, PhD, bestselling author and pediatric psychologist The early years of a little girl's life will shape her future in powerful ways. Maggie Dent, Australia's queen of common-sense parenting, has investigated the development period from birth to age eight. Drawing on nearly 5,000 survey results, the latest research, and her own extensive experience as an educator, counsellor, facilitator, mum and grandmother, Maggie shows us how to help our girls build an emotional and psychological base for life. Secure foundations, Maggie argues, will help insulate our girls against anxiety and other mental health challenges as they grow into their teens and feel more capable and resilient while keeping their own authentic voice as they enter womanhood. Written with all the rigour, compassion and humour we have come to expect from one of Australia's best-loved parenting voices, this is both a deeply practical guide to raising girls, as well as a celebration and intimate meditation on the state of being female, which women of all ages will relate to.