Recruiting or hiring the right talent often requires time and effort. Using job simulations, you can make things easier for yourself and increase your chances of picking the right candidate. For example:<ul><li>A job simulation might include typing or completing forms for a secretary position.</li><li>A job simulation might also involve candidates showing their soft skills like communication, empathy, and emotional intelligence.</li></ul>

Using job simulations in the hiring process

<ul><li>During screening. Using job simulations as the first screening step can weed out less-suitable candidates.</li><li>At the final interview stage. Using simulations like in-basket tests and case interviews will increase the chances of hiring right.</li></ul>

When to use job simulations

<ul><li>It tests candidates' skills. A job simulation test lets you see how well candidates handle the job in real-time.</li><li>It reduces bias. Many recruiters still discriminate against some candidates because of unconscious bias. Job simulations make it easier to avoid unconscious discrimination.</li><li>It gives deeper insights. These tests open a window for recruiters to look into the personality of potential hires.</li><li>It reduces the cost of bad hires.</li><li>It benefits candidates. Candidates know what they are expected to do in the role. They taste the organization's culture and processes and experience its dynamics.</li></ul>

Advantages of using job simulations

<ul><li>It can be expensive. You'll need a space to carry out the simulation, a scheduling program to do the simulations, and internal staff to administer the simulations.</li><li>It can exhaust time and resources. Simulations can take time to create and execute. Depending on your recruitment goals, this may not be worth your time.</li></ul>

Disadvantages of using job simulations

<ul><li>In-basket simulations. This simulation aims to see how the candidate deals with tasks in a given time and applies critical thinking.</li><li>Situational judgment test. The candidate is put in pretend scenarios with obstacles and assessed based on how they deal with these challenges.</li><li>Take-home assignments. These assignments are due within a timeframe, but candidates may do the test in their comfort zone.</li><li>Group tests. Seeing how well potential hires work in teams and communicate with others.</li><li>Case interviews. The candidate is presented with a challenging business scenario to navigate.</li></ul>

Types of job simulations

<ul><li>Make it immersive. The candidate must genuinely experience what it feels like to work in the role.</li><li>Make it clear and specific. Hiring managers should explain to the candidates what is measured and how it is measured.</li></ul>

Tips for creating successful job simulations

Make recruiting easier and increase your chances of picking the right candidate by using job simulations. Here's what they are and how to create them.

career

Career

humanresources

Human Resources

Job Simulations: What They Are and Why Recruiters Need Them

Many of us, even if we don’t travel for work, do something similar by avoiding spending time in the home of our own minds. If being fully present—or in the parlance of modern meditators, being mindful—is boring, stressful, sad, or scary, you’re not going to want to do it very much. You can have a more pleasant time being psychologically out of town, as it were.But you should work to be more mindful anyway.

Being In The Present Moment Is Boring

<ul><li>Many psychologists believe that humans are wired to time-travel mentally into the future, to consider new scenarios and try out new ideas.</li><li>But avoiding mindfulness can also be an effective way to distract yourself from pain.</li><li>People’s minds are significantly more likely to wander when they’re in a negative mood than when they’re in a positive mood. </li><li>Some sources of unhappiness that lead to distraction and mind-wandering are fear, anxiety, neuroticism, and of course, boredom.</li></ul>

The Usual Way: Distraction

If you can't meditate, it boils down to two problems:You don’t know how to be at home in your head, or you do know and have concluded that home is no fun. If the former is what’s stopping you, then by all means, dig into the extensive and growing technology and literature on mindfulness. You might try formal meditation or simply pay attention more to your current surroundings.But if your problem is the latter, you need to face the source head-on. Avoiding yourself won’t work in the long run.Avoiding mindfulness to avoid emotions makes things worse, not better.

Avoiding Mindfulness

Mindfulness is not the same thing as navel-gazing. To be here now does not mean obsessing over yourself and your problems and disregarding others. Scholars have <a href="https://www.frontiersin.org/articles/10.3389/fpsyg.2015.01481/full">shown</a> that excessive self-concern can increase defensiveness and the perception of threat. Mindfulness should work instead toward a sense of yourself as part of the wider world, and an observation of your emotions without judgment. As you work to focus on the present, remind yourself of two things: You are just one of more than <a href="https://www.theatlantic.com/family/archive/2021/02/dalai-lama-gentle-transgressive-individuality-happiness/617901/">7 billion human beings</a>, and your emotions will come and go as a normal part of being alive.

Mindfulness Isn't A Worry Session

Not being mindful is like escaping from reality.

Facing the painful parts of life head-on is the only way to feel at home with yourself.

Understand yourself and those around you.

psychology

Psychology

mindfulness

Mindfulness

Mindfulness Hurts. That’s Why It Works.

When is it ok to say "this isn't really working for me anymore"?We as humans shed our needs constantly, and relationships are no different.Friendships, be they short or long, are woven in and out of the fabric of our lives on this earth.No friendship should be transactional, conditional, or hallow. If you don't know where you stand with a friend, it's time to leave.

The Time To Let Go Of A Friend

After spending time with a friend, do you feel whole, loving, *energized*, and informed? Legit HAPPY? Well, great! You have a good friend who is filling your soul! Make sure you’re checking in on them as much as they do for you—they are gem humans with insight and empathy, and they deserve that same energy back from the people in their lives.It’s a huge red flag, and time to set boundaries with that person—or, soon enough, leave the friendship altogether—when your friend doesn’t have the same capacity for you; when you feel depleted after spending time with them.

When You Aren’t Replenished by What You Put Into Your Friendship

Whether it’s a committed relationship, having a baby, a change in job location, the fact that one of you is sobering up, interests change (see above); these are the things every adult struggles with when they have a longstanding friendship. For the sake of your new life, you *must* cut off the people who aren’t supporting you through those beautiful but difficult transitions. You owe it to yourself to be your favourite person if they aren’t equipped to be.

When Milestones Drift You Apart

If you don’t know where you stand with a friend, it’s time to leave. Walls are built up and it is not your job to break them down.Just because you’ve invested time in a friendship doesn’t mean you must stay to see it through—gone are the days we say that for romantic relationships; we shouldn’t say it for friendships, either.If you have someone in your life who you want to let go of so they can grow (and so you can, too), leaving them to do just that is a gift. It can lead you to a little diner—out from the cold, and into the warmth of a new friendship.

When You Don’t Feel the Partnership Is Equal

What happens when you need to let go of a friend? When is it ok to say “this isn’t really working for me anymore”? Have you thought about friend breakups as much as I have in adulthood? To me—a person in a committed, monogamous relationship—this is as close as I’ve come to dating in a while, and it’s just as difficult to navigate.

loveandrelationships

Love & Relationships

Decluttering Friendships: When Is It Time to Let Go?

We get used to everyday things. One of the most basic ways humans learn is by a process called habituation. Our brain encodes the daily things we do into habits so we can free up space to learn new things.  Habituations is not always bad. Take learning to drive. At first, all your nervous attention is focused on the wheel, the cars, the lights, the pedestrians. but with time, it becomes easier and easier. You habituated it.Other times, habituation isn't good. It stops us from noticing the problems around us or fixing them.

Habituation prevents us from noticing problems

The job of designers, innovators and entrepreneurs are to notice the bad things humans get used to and go one step further to fix them. It's easy to solve a problem that everyone sees. But it's hard to solve a problem almost no one sees. A product designer sees the world the way it really is, not the way we think it is.

Designers learn to notice the world

There are invisible problems all around us, ones we can solve if we can just notice them.Tips to fight habituation:<ul><li>Look broader. When you're tackling a problem, there are often many steps that lead up to the problem. When you step back, you can change some of the stages before you get to a problem, combine them, or even remove them.</li><li>Look closer. When we focus on the little details we may otherwise not notice, ask, "Are they important, or is it the way we've always done it?" Maybe there's a better way.</li><li>Think younger. Young minds often ask tons of questions and then attempt to solve them.</li></ul>

Resisting habituation

Collection of stellar videos and articles to keep in your back pocket.

problemsolving

Problem Solving

product

Product & Design

leadershipandmanagement

Leadership & Management

productivity

Productivity

Product Management Starter Kit

As humans, we become so used to the familiar problems we face that we fail to see them. Designers look at this from a different viewpoint. They learn to notice the little everyday things and try to improve upon them.

As human beings, we get used to "the way things are" really fast. But for designers, the way things are is an opportunity ... Could things be better? How? In this funny, breezy talk, the man behind the iPod and the Nest thermostat shares some of his tips for noticing -- and driving -- change.

As human beings, we get used to "the way things are" really fast. But for designers, the way things are is an opportunity ... Could things be better? How? In this funny, breezy talk, the man behind the iPod and the Nest thermostat shares some of his tips for noticing — and driving — change.

TEDTalks is a daily video podcast of the best talks and performances from the TED Conference, where the world's leading thinkers and doers give the talk of their lives in 18 minutes (or less). Look for talks on Technology, Entertainment and Design -- plus science, business, global issues, the arts and much more.
Find closed captions and translated subtitles in many languages at http://www.ted.com/talks/tony_fadell_the_first_secret_of_design_is_noticing

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The TED Talks channel features the best talks and performances from the TED Conference, where the world's leading thinkers and doers give the talk of their lives in 18 minutes (or less). Look for talks on Technology, Entertainment and Design -- plus science, business, global issues, the arts and more. You're welcome to link to or embed these videos, forward them to others and share these ideas with people you know.

TED's videos may be used for non-commercial purposes under a Creative Commons License, Attribution–Non Commercial–No Derivatives (or the CC BY – NC – ND 4.0 International) and in accordance with our TED Talks Usage Policy: https://www.ted.com/about/our-organization/our-policies-terms/ted-talks-usage-policy. For more information on using TED for commercial purposes (e.g. employee learning, in a film or online course), please submit a Media Request at https://media-requests.ted.com

The first secret of great design | Tony Fadell

The first secret of design is ... noticing

It's year 10,191, and human beings have spread out and colonized planets throughout the universe. On the planet Caladan, Duke Leto of the House of Atreides is preparing to leave for his new position as the governor of Arrakis, a desert planet with valuable resources of melange, a spice drug that is extremely popular with wealthy people. Leto and his family, including his concubine, Jessica, and his son, Paul, suspect a trap by their rivals, the Harkonnens, led by Baron Harkonnen. Leto decides to settle on Arrakis because of its rich supplies of melange, despite warnings from his men.

The Setting

Leto's main plan is to enlist the Fremen, the tough natives of the Arrakeen desert, as soldiers and advisers but he's betrayed by one of his own soon after arrival, and Paul and his mother, are left to fend for themselves. Eventually, Paul and Jessica come into contact with the Fremen, a group of people native to Arrakis. Paul learns more about his heritage and psychic abilities and even meets his love interest, a Fremen woman named Chani. The remaining members of the Atreides family soon join forces with the Fremen to take back Arrakis and avenge their family.

The Plot

On the Atreides home planet of Caledon water is everywhere there are vast oceans rivers and rainstorms so the people living there can consume a lot at virtually no cost.  On Arrakis, although water is extremely scarce, it's expensive. Even wet towels from the palace are sold to Fremens with whatever moisture that can be wrung out of them. This is a fantastic lesson on subjective value.

Model of internal logic in storytelling

The average price of a good or service is not based on the amount of labor or the cost of the resources required to produce it. It's a function of supply and demand value changes depending on individuals desires and preferences and it's based on the availability of whatever it is that they want relative to how many other people happen to want the same thing at the same time For eg- if you are thirsty and have a bottle of water, you are very less likely to give it to me or maybe charge a lot of money. On the other hand, you might have 100 bottles and may just give them to me for free.

Economic values are subjective

Nothing is more useful than water: but it will scarcely purchase anything.A diamond on the contrary has scarcely anyuse-value but a very great quantity ofother goods may frequently be had inexchange for it.

Contradictorily, spice(the most expensive thing in the universe) is only found on Arrakis.Still, much of the Arraken population is materially poorer than a lot of people alive on earth today.  The reason is the political system in Dune: Imperial Feudalism which means the entirety of society is controlled by a private political party and since the territory is vast, some power, in this case, is delegated to Dukes and Barons. The people of Arrakis, are also not legally allowed to own productive land or keep the proceeds of their work.

The government

He who controls the spice controls the universe.

It means the state should play a dominant role in the economy, in particular by controlling commercial activity Everything the citizens of Arakis produce belongs to the Emperor and It decides what to do with it and who profits from it. The government directly supports favored companies orcorporations and inhibits competition. They typically do this through tariffs subsidies and regulations that restrictwho is allowed to participate in commerce. The company responsible for melange is CHOAM aka the honorable union for the advancement of mercantilism in which the emperor has directorship.

Adoption of Mercantilist Economic Policy

As a result of the policy, the people of Arrakis have no purchasing power with which to flood their entire planet with water food, and other resources they could have easily acquired in exchange for their magicalspice. In a world where individual rights are universally respected, we would see a multitude of property owners who become entrepreneurs, who genuinely create value for others which ultimately enrich the lives of even more consumers, and equally importantly everyone wouldbe allowed to keep the income they have legitimately earned using it to improve their own lives as they see fit

Economic freedom to enrich lives

Frank Herbert’s sci-fi novel “Dune” is a literary masterpiece filled with illuminating insights. In anticipation of the upcoming movie release, this episode of Out of Frame explains why the fascinating world constructed by Herbert is not only a great story, but also surprisingly sound in terms of philosophy and economics. Ultimately, “Dune” demonstrates how systems of mercantilism and feudalism create crippling poverty, when systems based on private property and free trade do not. ______________________________ FOLLOW/SUPPORT US: Support Out of Frame on Patreon or SubscribeStar:  https://www.patreon.com/OutofFrameShow https://www.subscribestar.com/outofframeshow Join our Discord: https://discord.gg/RKc4AcGQ9k Watch our newest video, "Everything You *Really* Need to Know About Dune": https://youtu.be/ZmNzbhM4BSQ Sign up for our mailing list and never miss an episode again: https://fee.org/oof-newsletter Check out our podcast, Out of Frame: Behind the Scenes: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCiS5rEmhnLwo1IG9bgr19Og Follow us EVERYWHERE! https://linktr.ee/outofframefee ______________________________ CREDITS: Written by Sean W. Malone Produced by Sean W. Malone Edited by Michael Ozias Asst. Edited by Jason Reinhardt ______________________________ LINKS: -- Marginal Utility -- https://fee.org/articles/to-be-a-happy-person-understand-marginal-utility/ https://fee.org/articles/value-cost-marginal-utility-and-bhm-bawerk/ https://fee.org/articles/eugen-von-bhm-bawerk-a-sesquicentennial-appreciation/ https://fee.org/resources/bhm-bawerk-for-the-citizen/ -- Capitalism -- https://www.empireonline.com/movies/news/dune-story-enough-is-enough-exploited-cultures-exclusive-images/ https://movieweb.com/dune-2020-oscar-isaac-anti-capitalist-environmental/ https://www.jacobinmag.com/2021/08/dune-herbert-science-fiction-conservatism -- Paradox of value -- https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Paradox_of_value https://www.investopedia.com/ask/answers/032615/how-can-marginal-utility-explain-diamondwater-paradox.asp https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e7S8jWh6AEs -- Mercantilism -- https://www.investopedia.com/terms/m/mercantilism.asp https://www.econlib.org/library/Enc/Mercantilism.html https://www.economist.com/free-exchange/2013/08/23/what-was-mercantilism

Discover the world of business and economics.

economics

Economics

politics

Politics

Frank Herbert’s sci-fi novel “Dune” is a literary masterpiece filled with illuminating insights. In anticipation of the upcoming movie release, this episode of Out of Frame explains why the fascinating world constructed by Herbert is not only a great story, but also surprisingly sound in terms of philosophy and economics. Ultimately, “Dune” demonstrates how systems of mercantilism and feudalism create crippling poverty, when systems based on private property and free trade do not. 
______________________________
FOLLOW/SUPPORT US:

Support Out of Frame on Patreon or SubscribeStar: 
https://www.patreon.com/OutofFrameShow
https://www.subscribestar.com/outofframeshow

Join our Discord: https://discord.gg/RKc4AcGQ9k

Watch our newest video, "The 1970s are back. Yaaaayyyy.": https://youtu.be/pYnpnB0dj5s

Sign up for our mailing list and never miss an episode again:
https://fee.org/oof-newsletter

Check out our podcast, Out of Frame: Behind the Scenes: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCiS5rEmhnLwo1IG9bgr19Og

Follow us EVERYWHERE!
https://linktr.ee/outofframefee
______________________________
CREDITS:
Written by Sean W. Malone
Produced by Sean W. Malone
Edited by Michael Ozias
Asst. Edited by Jason Reinhardt
______________________________
LINKS:

-- Marginal Utility --

https://fee.org/articles/to-be-a-happy-person-understand-marginal-utility/
https://fee.org/articles/value-cost-marginal-utility-and-bhm-bawerk/
https://fee.org/articles/eugen-von-bhm-bawerk-a-sesquicentennial-appreciation/
https://fee.org/resources/bhm-bawerk-for-the-citizen/

-- Capitalism --

https://www.empireonline.com/movies/news/dune-story-enough-is-enough-exploited-cultures-exclusive-images/
https://movieweb.com/dune-2020-oscar-isaac-anti-capitalist-environmental/
https://www.jacobinmag.com/2021/08/dune-herbert-science-fiction-conservatism

-- Paradox of value --

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Paradox_of_value
https://www.investopedia.com/ask/answers/032615/how-can-marginal-utility-explain-diamondwater-paradox.asp
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e7S8jWh6AEs

-- Mercantilism --

https://www.investopedia.com/terms/m/mercantilism.asp
https://www.econlib.org/library/Enc/Mercantilism.html
https://www.economist.com/free-exchange/2013/08/23/what-was-mercantilism

FEE focuses on introducing freedom as a life philosophy to newcomers in the youth audience, striving to bring about a world in which the economic, ethical, and legal principles of a free society are familiar and credible to the rising generation.

Foundation for Economic Education

Everything You *Really* Need to Know About Dune

The Politics and Economics of Dune

Watercolour can be daunting for beginners and some experienced artists alike. However, with some easy warm-up activities, you'll begin to understand how watercolour really works and become comfortable with your paints.

Getting comfortable with watercolour

Adding wet paint to a wet surface is used for painting landscapes, simple skies, or soft watercolour washes. It gives a flowy look as we don't have much control over how our paint reacts. <ol><li>Wet your brush with plain water and "paint" two rectangles with the clear water.</li><li>Pick up moistened paint from your palette and add colour to your first wet rectangle.</li><li>Add dabs of paint to your second rectangle.</li></ol> When your paint has begun to dry, see how different it looks.

The wet-on-wet method

Wet paint over a dry area is used for more precise and defined shapes. <ol><li>Start with dry paper and pick up some moistened paint with a large brush, then simply paint.</li><li>The opacity or lack of transparency will depend on how much water you mix in.</li><li>Using the minimum amount of water will leave a sketch-like finish.</li></ol> When the paint is completely dry, notice how the colours tend to fade and look different.

The wet-on-dry method

This activity will enable you to build up colour from plain water to a saturated paint mix. <ol><li>Start with a dry area of watercolour paper. Put a small amount of water into your palette and a dab of concentrated paint next to it.</li><li>Pick up a bit of the clean water with your brush and paint a strip.</li><li>Add a tiny bit of pigment into your water, and paint where you left off with the clear water. Rinse and pat your brush on a piece of cloth or paper.</li><li>Repeat the process by adding a bit more paint to your water until you have a good transition from water to concentrated paint.</li></ol>

Building up colour

In this activity, we will build up colour, working with two colours and transitioning from one to the other. <ol><li>Use colours close together on the colour wheel to create harmony, such as green and yellow, blue and purple, red and orange.</li><li>Mix two separate colours side by side. Aim for a 50/50 ratio of water to paint for each colour.</li><li>Paint a strip of the one colour. Clean your brush, pick up a bit of the second colour and mix it into your first mixture.</li><li>Pick up where you left off, each time adding a bit more of your second colour.</li></ol>

Creating gradients

This practice will help to paint around the edges of shapes. <ol><li>Paint simple shapes on your dry piece of watercolour paper.</li><li>Paint around these shapes in a different colour. Use different sized brushes - a smaller for more detailed areas and a larger for filling out larger areas.</li><li>Ensure you have enough blue paint (about 50/50 water to watercolor). Keep the blue area moist to pick up where you left off.</li><li>Get really close to each shape without touching the first shape.</li></ol>

Getting precise

From dabbling with the wet on wet technique to creating gradients, these basic exercises can help you excel at painting with watercolors.

personaldevelopment

Personal Development

education

Learning & Education

entertainment

Entertainment

artsandculture

Society, Arts & Culture

5 Simple Watercolor Techniques for Beginners

Passive communicators go along with the other person’s ideas, narratives and suggestions. They avoid conflicts and confrontations. They appear anxious, afraid of disapproval and are often having poor eye contact or posture.
In a relationship, these people bottle up their emotions and do what their partner plans or does. It is a ‘doom scenario’ if both partners are passive.

Passive Communicators

An aggressive communicator is demanding, defensive, dominating and even hostile. They are poor listeners, always having something to say. They maintain direct eye contact and often use a harsh tone.
An aggressive communicator can be a problem in a relationship, as they don’t know when to stop yelling, refusing to back down or not considering their partner's feelings.

Aggressive Communicators

Also known as the confuser, a passive-aggressive communicator is a bundle of contradictions. They can be easily frustrated, resentful, unable to say what they want to say, making good use of sarcasm, indirect communication, criticism and complaining. People interacting with them are often alienated.
In a relationship, these kinds of communicators are the ones harbouring subtle anger, not telling if something is wrong, preferring the silent treatment. A lot of this behaviour feels like emotional abuse to the partner.

Passive-Aggressive Communicators

Assertive communicators are self-confident, clear and open. They can share their opinion with calmness and are generally considerate of the differences of outlook.
In relationships, assertive people have healthy discussions, as they are also good listeners. Due to this ability to listen well, they have certain security with sharing their own opinions, thoughts and feelings while speaking.

Assertive Communicators

One needs to figure out their own style and change it if needed. One can take a few seconds before responding and reflect upon what they have listened to with intent.
The first step is to validate the person’s feelings, making them feel heard and listened to. The listening part is even more crucial than the solution or the remedy, which won’t be impactful if provided before hearing out the person fully.

Relationship Communication: Your Own Style

Depending on the circumstance and the stance of the partner, one should know which type of communication is to be used, and when it has to be changed. Talking should be paired with listening, and your partner should have a safe place to express their feelings fully.
Make sure your words and actions are on the same platform, with no contradiction between them. If you think you are ‘spent’ and it is too late, you can bring in a trained relationship specialist for help.

Best Practices For Relationship Communication

A look at the passive, aggressive, passive-aggressive, and assertive communication styles.

communication

Communication

Navigating Different Communication Styles in Relationships

We all go through challenging periods in our lives and may find it helpful to talk with friends or family about our struggles. 
But for a help-rejecting complainer, complaining is a way of life. They don't want help, only sympathy and validation for their perception of being mistreated and their inability to improve their situation. Because help-rejecting complainers don't want solutions, they tend to drain the energy from the people around them.

The help-rejecting complainer

They often suffer from an underlying depression, and depression skews their thinking and make them feel helpless. They also feel lonely, unheard, and unseen in their pain.
They want to connect, but because they are help-rejecting complainers, they push people away, creating a vicious cycle.

Why some people are help-rejecting complainers

Don't try to challenge their belief system. The best thing to do is to over-validate their position but without any trace of sarcasm. For example, "Your boss should be fired. It's terrible that there's absolutely nothing you can do to make things better." 
Once they feel understood, there's not a lot more to say. They will also hear their own complaint from you and may turn the argument. "My boss is awful, but I don't know if I'll be there forever."

Help-rejecting complainers want to feel heard

When help-rejecting complainers feel heard, they may eventually realise that they can change their position. But they may also continue to complain incessantly.
In that case, you can set a compassionate boundary where you validate their suffering and admit that you don't think listening to what's bothering them is helping. Then change the conversation. Whenever they complain, remind them of your limit and redirect the conversation.

Set a compassionate boundary

I want to have a good relationship with her, but I feel overwhelmed by her negativity.

health

Health

Dealing With People That Constantly Complain, but Won’t Do Anything to Change

Hard anniversaries, like the birthday of someone we've lost, are helped by routines and rituals. They create a grounding structure with a reassuring and stabilising effect.
<ul>
<li>Routines are repetitive actions to help us develop skills while creating continuity and order.</li>
<li>Rituals are routines elevated by creativity, driven by intention, and injected with meaning. Rituals help us through transitions. If setting the table is a routine, a ritual is taking the special china and making grandma's favourite recipe to remember her and process the time passed since her death.</li>
</ul>

The stabilizing effect of routines and rituals

Routines and Rituals - Esther Perel

<ul><li>Not allowing you to speak or be heard.</li><li>Yelling at you.</li><li>Saying things that are derogatory about your integrity and character.</li><li>Gossiping about you.</li></ul>

Verbal violations

<ul><li>Preying upon your sense of self and self-esteem</li><li>Using what you’ve told them in confidence against you</li><li>Lying to you</li><li>Criticizing you</li><li>Manipulating you</li><li>Mocking you</li><li>Making demands of your time</li><li>Bullying you</li><li>Lording a superior attitude over you</li></ul>

Psychological/emotional boundary violations

<ul><li>Moving into your personal space</li><li>Touching you without permission</li><li>Being inappropriate or too familiar towards you</li><li>Violating your privacy</li><li>Damaging or destroying your personal property</li><li>Threatening you with physical harm</li></ul>

Physical violations

Get to know yourself as best you can. Become familiar and comfortable with your own beliefs, emotions, feelings, and ideas.

Know thyself

Develop the capacity to know what needs to be done for yourself.By setting your own boundaries, you are setting your limits about who can come into your space and what you expect of others once they’re there.

Take responsibility for yourself

When you respect yourself, you should expect that others will treat you with respect. If they don’t, that’s a clear sign not to engage.

Develop a healthy respect for yourself

Stay away from anyone who thinks nothing of invading your space for their own end.

Heed the warning signs

It’s a waste of your time and energy to try to fix other people because they’re not interested in becoming any other way than they are.

Don’t try to fix people

You don’t need to feel that you owe anyone anything more than you want to give with your free and conscious heart.If anyone invades your boundaries, be ready to walk away without fear or guilt.

You are in charge of your choices

Understand that your boundaries are different from others.You can learn to be emotionally attached to others while remaining psychologically and intellectually detached. This kind of space allows for personal expression while minimizing emotional and psychological entanglement.

Separate yourself from others

A healthy relationship requires the space to be yourself and to maintain your personal integrity. Most people will respect your boundaries when you explain what they are and will expect that you will do the same for them; it's a two-way street. Not so with people who don't understand where you end and they begin.