Emotional loneliness comes from not having enough intimacy with other people.It can start in childhood, due to feeling emotionally unseen by self-preoccupied parents, or it can arise in adulthood when an emotional connection is lost. If it’s been a lifelong feeling, it points to the likelihood of not being sufficiently emotionally responded to as a child.

Emotional Loneliness

The loneliness of feeling unseen by others is as fundamental a pain as physical injury, but it doesn’t show on the outside. Emotional loneliness is a vague and private experience, not easy to see or describe. You might call it a feeling of emptiness or being alone in the world. Some people have called this feeling existential loneliness, but there’s nothing existential about it. If you feel it, it came from your family.

Feeling Unseen

Children have no way of identifying a lack of emotional intimacy in their relationship with a parent. It isn’t a concept they have. And it’s even less likely that they can understand that their parents are emotionally immature. All they have is a gut feeling of emptiness, which is how a child experiences loneliness. With a mature parent, the child’s remedy for loneliness is simply to go to the parent for affectionate connection. But if your parent was scared of deep feelings, you might have been left with an uneasy sense of shame for needing comforting.

Emotional Intimacy

When the children of emotionally immature parents grow up, the core emptiness remains, even if they have a superficially normal adult life. Their loneliness can continue into adulthood if they unwittingly choose relationships that can’t give them enough emotional connection. They may go to school, work, marry, and raise children, but all the while they’ll still be haunted by that core sense of emotional isolation. In this chapter, we’ll look at people’s experience of emotional loneliness, along with how self-awareness helped them understand what they were missing and how to change.

Emptiness

Although we’re accustomed to thinking of grown-ups as more mature than their children, what if some sensitive children come into the world and within a few years are more emotionally mature than their parents, who have been around for decades?

If you grew up with an emotionally immature, unavailable, or selfish parent, you may have lingering feelings of anger, loneliness, betrayal, or abandonment. You may recall your childhood as a time when your emotional needs were not met, when your feelings were dismissed, or when you took on adult levels of responsibility in an effort to compensate for your parent’s behavior. These wounds can be healed, and you can move forward in your life. In this breakthrough book, clinical psychologist Lindsay Gibson exposes the destructive nature of parents who are emotionally immature or unavailable. You will see how these parents create a sense of neglect, and discover ways to heal from the pain and confusion caused by your childhood. By freeing yourself from your parents’ emotional immaturity, you can recover your true nature, control how you react to them, and avoid disappointment. Finally, you’ll learn how to create positive, new relationships so you can build a better life. Discover the four types of difficult parents: The emotional parent instills feelings of instability and anxiety The driven parent stays busy trying to perfect everything and everyone The passive parent avoids dealing with anything upsetting The rejecting parent is withdrawn, dismissive, and derogatory

parenting

Parenting

books

Books

If you grew up with an emotionally immature, unavailable, or selfish parent, you may have lingering feelings of anger, loneliness, betrayal, or abandonment. You may recall your childhood as a time when your emotional needs were not met, when your feelings were dismissed, or when you took on adult levels of responsibility in an effort to compensate for your parent’s behavior. These wounds can be healed, and you can move forward in your life.In this breakthrough book, clinical psychologist Lindsay Gibson exposes the destructive nature of parents who are emotionally immature or unavailable. You will see how these parents create a sense of neglect, and discover ways to heal from the pain and confusion caused by your childhood. By freeing yourself from your parents’ emotional immaturity, you can recover your true nature, control how you react to them, and avoid disappointment. Finally, you’ll learn how to create positive, new relationships so you can build a better life.Discover the four types of difficult parents:<ul><li>The emotional parent instills feelings of instability and anxiety</li><li>The driven parent stays busy trying to perfect everything and everyone</li><li>The passive parent avoids dealing with anything upsetting</li><li>The rejecting parent is withdrawn, dismissive, and derogatory</li></ul>

Lindsay C. Gibson

Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents

"Buliding a fort Activates more cognitive learning domains than doing worksheet At the table."

1. Why the No Child Left Behind program actually held most children back?2. Which professions pay the same as teachers?3. Why teaching young children how to read a calendar is a pointless exercise?

Ageless Questions Answered

Preschool system is designed by adults to serve them the purpose of nurturing children.Everyone sitting in their respective chairs paying attention to the one standing in the room. Does it sound familiar? Does it sound like meetings or classrooms?The modern classrooms are more focused on lecturing them playing. Hence serves our parents more then children.Playing with children involves more f brain activity them lectures. We all are very familiar with flight of brain during lectures. This is hampering opportunities of learning on their own; not recognising their own talents.

Pre-school System Serves Adults More Than Their Students

Kids are remarkably adept at teaching themselves what they like. For instance, babies of just ten months can tell when they’re being spok⁵en to in different languages. By forcing a strict curriculum onto creative children, we actually damage this natural ability. So why do we do it?It all boils down to a poor understanding of children’s cognitive capabilities.Unfortunately, adults have missed this simple fact; preschools, which once prepared children for their education, are becoming more like real schools.

Adults Forget What It Likes To Be A Child

Today we know more about children’s minds than ever before. We also clearly understand the importance of high-quality education. But then why aren’t we allocating resources to make these ideas a reality?The teachers are being paid low wages that is directly proportional to the quality of their work. Furthermore, many teachers end up making compromises on their students’ education simply to meet the rigid targets and standards that their licenses and funding depend on.

Poor Educational Funding

At the core of these much-needed improvements would be removing the parts of curriculum that focus on useless facts and replacing them with skills. This would equip young people with everything they need to succeed throughout school and life. Consider how a child could use problem-solving and communication skills while working on a group project in class and during family time. A kindergartner that learns these same skills will also help them perform better in the later years of school.

Useless facts don’t do as much for children’s success as skills.

To a four-year-old watching bulldozers or chasing butterflies in a field, the world is awash with promise. Children come hardwired to learn in virtually any setting and about anything. Yet in today's preschools and kindergartens, learning has been reduced to scripted lessons and suspect metrics that undervalue children's intelligence while overtaxing their growing brains.

loveandrelationships

Love & Relationships

“Christakis . . . expertly weaves academic research, personal experience and anecdotal evidence into her book . . . a bracing and convincing case that early education has reached a point of crisis . . . her book is a rare thing: a serious work of research that also happens to be well-written and personal . . . engaging and important.”  --Washington Post "What kids need from grown-ups (but aren't getting)...an impassioned plea for educators and parents to put down the worksheets and flash cards, ditch the tired craft projects (yes, you, Thanksgiving Handprint Turkey) and exotic vocabulary lessons, and double-down on one, simple word: play." --NPR The New York Times bestseller that provides a  bold challenge to the conventional wisdom about early childhood, with a pragmatic program to encourage parents and teachers to rethink how and where young children learn best by taking the child’s eye view of the learning environment   To a four-year-old watching bulldozers at a construction site or chasing butterflies in flight, the world is awash with promise. Little children come into the world hardwired to learn in virtually any setting and about any matter. Yet in today’s preschool and kindergarten classrooms, learning has been reduced to scripted lessons and suspect metrics that too often undervalue a child’s intelligence while overtaxing the child’s growing brain. These mismatched expectations wreak havoc on the family: parents fear that if they choose the “wrong” program, their child won’t get into the “right” college. But Yale early childhood expert Erika Christakis says our fears are wildly misplaced. Our anxiety about preparing and safeguarding our children’s future seems to have reached a fever pitch at a time when, ironically, science gives us more certainty than ever before that young children are exceptionally strong thinkers.             In her pathbreaking book, Christakis explains what it’s like to be a young child in America today, in a world designed by and for adults, where we have confused schooling with learning. She offers real-life solutions to real-life issues, with nuance and direction that takes us far beyond the usual prescriptions for fewer tests, more play. She looks at children’s use of language, their artistic expressions, the way their imaginations grow, and how they build deep emotional bonds to stretch the boundaries of their small worlds. Rather than clutter their worlds with more and more stuff, sometimes the wisest course for us is to learn how to get out of their way.             Christakis’s message is energizing and reassuring: young children are inherently powerful, and they (and their parents) will flourish when we learn new ways of restoring the vital early learning environment to one that is best suited to the littlest learners. This bold and pragmatic challenge to the conventional wisdom peels back the mystery of childhood, revealing a place that’s rich with possibility.

Erika Christakis

The Importance of Being Little

"We all deal with setbacks but in the long run, the quality of our lives often depends on the quality of our habits".

Your outcomes are a lagging measure of your habits. Your net worth is a lagging measure of your financial habits. Your weight is a lagging measure of your eating habits. Your knowledge is a lagging measure of your learning habits. You get what you repeat.If you find yourself struggling to build a good habit or break a bad one, it is not because you have lost your ability to improve. It is often because you have not yet crossed what James calls, Plateau of Latent Potential.When you finally break through the Plateau of Latent Potential, people will call it an overnight success.

Power Of Tiny Habits

The purpose of setting goals is to win the game. The purpose of building systems is to continue playing the game. True long-term thinking is goal-less thinking. It’s not about any single accomplishment. It is about the cycle of endless refinement and continuous improvement.Habits are the compound interest of self-improvement.Getting 1 percent better every day counts for a lot in the long-run.

1% Improvement Everyday

Changing our habits is challenging for two reasons: (1) we try to change the wrong thing and (2) we try to change our habits in the wrong way. There are three layers of behavior change: 1. Change in your outcomes.2. Change in your processes.3. Change in your identity. With outcome-based habits, the focus is on what you want to achieve. With identity-based habits, the focus is on who you wish to become.The real reason habits matter is not because they can get you better results (although they can do that), but because they can change your beliefs about yourself.

How Your Habits Shape Your Identity

4 simple steps:1. How can I make it obvious?2. How can I make it attractive?3. How can I make it easy?4. How can I make it satisfying?The ultimate purpose of habits is to solve the problems of life with as little energy and effort as possible. A habit is a behavior that has been repeated enough times to become automatic."The Four Laws of Behavior Change are a simple set of rules we can use to build better habits. They are (1) make it obvious, (2) make it attractive, (3) make it easy, and (4) make it satisfying.”

Build Better Habits

If you’re having trouble determining how to rate a particular habit, ask yourself: ‘Does this behavior help me become the type of person I wish to be? Does this habit cast a vote for or against my desired identity?With enough practice, your brain will pick up on the cues that predict certain outcomes without consciously thinking about it. Pointing-and-Calling raises your level of awareness from a nonconscious habit to a more conscious level by verbalizing your actions.The Habits Scorecard is a simple exercise you can use to become more aware of your behavior.

What's Wrong With You Mate

“The 1st Law of Behavior Change is make it obvious.”One of the best ways to build a new habit is to identify a current habit you already do each day and then stack your new behavior on top. This is called habit stacking. The two most common cues are time and location. Creating an implementation intention is a strategy you can use to pair a new habit with a specific time and location. Habit stacking is a strategy you can use to pair a new habit with a current habit.E.g., The habit stacking formula is: ‘After [CURRENT HABIT], I will [NEW HABIT].

How To Start A New Habit?

What about environment?Environment is the invisible hand that shapes human behavior. Small changes in context can lead to large changes in behavior over time. Every habit is initiated by a cue. We are more likely to notice cues that stand out. Make the cues of good habits obvious in your environment. Gradually, your habits become associated not with a single trigger but with the entire context surrounding the behavior. The context becomes the cue. It is easier to build new habits in a new environment because you are not fighting against old cues.

Motivation Is Overrated.

The inversion of the 1st Law of Behavior Change is make it invisible. Once a habit is formed, it is unlikely to be forgotten. People with high self-control tend to spend less time in tempting situations. It’s easier to avoid temptation than resist it. One of the most practical ways to eliminate a bad habit is to reduce exposure to the cue that causes it. Self-control is a short-term strategy, not a long-term one

Make It Invisible

The 2nd Law of Behavior Change is make it attractive. The more attractive an opportunity is, the more likely it is to become habit-forming. Habits are a dopamine-driven feedback loop. When dopamine rises, so does our motivation to act. It is the anticipation of a reward—not the fulfillment of it—that gets us to take action. The greater the anticipation, the greater the dopamine spike. Temptation bundling is one way to make your habits more attractive. The strategy is to pair an action you want to do with an action you need to do.

Make It Attractive

We tend to imitate the habits of three social groups: the close (family and friends), the many (the tribe), and the powerful (those with status and prestige).One of the most effective things you can do to build better habits is to join a culture where (1) your desired behavior is the normal behavior and (2) you already have something in common with the group.The normal behavior of the tribe often overpowers the desired behavior of the individual. Most days, we’d rather be wrong with the crowd than be right by ourselves.

Role Of Family And Friends

The inversion of the 2nd Law of Behavior Change is make it unattractive. Your habits are modern-day solutions to ancient desires. The cause of your habits is actually the prediction that precedes them. The prediction leads to a feeling. Highlight the benefits of avoiding a bad habit to make it seem unattractive. Habits are attractive when we associate them with positive feelings and unattractive when we associate them with negative feelings. Create a motivation ritual by doing something you enjoy immediately before a difficult habit.

Find And Fix Bad Habits

Walk slowly, but not backwards. The 3rd Law of Behavior Change is make it easy. The most effective form of learning is practice, not planning. Focus on taking action, not being in motion. Habit formation is the process by which a behavior becomes progressively more automatic through repetition. The amount of time you have been performing a habit is not as important as the number of times you have performed it.

Make It Easy

Human behavior follows the Law of Least Effort. We will naturally gravitate toward the option that requires the least amount of work. Create an environment where doing the right thing is as easy as possible. Reduce the friction associated with good behaviors. When friction is low, habits are easy. Increase the friction associated with bad behaviors. When friction is high, habits are difficult. Prime your environment to make future actions easier.

Law Of Least Effort

Decisive moments set the options available to your future self. A habit must be established before it can be improved.Habits can be completed in a few seconds but continue to impact your behavior for minutes or hours afterward.Many habits occur at decisive moments—choices that are like a fork in the road—and either send you in the direction of a productive day or an unproductive one.The Two-Minute Rule states, ‘When you start a new habit, it should take less than two minutes to do.'

Procrastination

The inversion of the 3rd Law of Behavior Change is make it difficult. A commitment device is a choice you make in the present that locks in better behavior in the future. The ultimate way to lock in future behavior is to automate your habits. Onetime choices—like buying a better mattress or enrolling in an automatic savings plan—are single actions that automate your future habits and deliver increasing returns over time.Using technology to automate your habits is the most reliable and effective way to guarantee the right behavior.

 Make Good Habits Inevitable and Bad Habits Impossible

The 4th Law of Behavior Change is make it satisfying. We are more likely to repeat a behavior when the experience is satisfying. The human brain evolved to prioritize immediate rewards over delayed rewards. The Cardinal Rule of Behavior Change: What is immediately rewarded is repeated. What is immediately punished is avoided. To get a habit to stick you need to feel immediately successful—even if it’s in a small way. The first three laws of behavior change—make it obvious, make it attractive, and make it easy—increase the odds that a behavior will be performed this time.

Cardinal Rule Of Behaviour Change

Named after the economist Charles Goodhart, Goodhart’s Law states, ‘When a measure becomes a target, it ceases to be a good measure. One of the most satisfying feelings is the feeling of making progress. A habit tracker is a simple way to measure whether you did a habit—like marking an X on a calendar. Habit trackers and other visual forms of measurement can make your habits satisfying by providing clear evidence of your progress. Don’t break the chain. Try to keep your habit streak alive. Never miss twice.Just because you can measure something doesn’t mean it’s the most important thing.

How To Stick With Good Habits?

The inversion of the 4th Law of Behavior Change is make it unsatisfying. We are less likely to repeat a bad habit if it is painful or unsatisfying. An accountability partner can create an immediate cost to inaction. We care deeply about what others think of us, and we do not want others to have a lesser opinion of us. A habit contract can be used to add a social cost to any behavior. It makes the costs of violating your promises public and painful. Knowing that someone else is watching you can be a powerful motivator.”

How Accountability Partner Changes Everything?

The secret to maximizing your odds of success is to choose the right field of competition. Pick the right habit and progress is easy. Pick the wrong habit and life is a struggle. Genes cannot be easily changed, which means they provide a powerful advantage in favorable circumstances and a serious disadvantage in unfavorable circumstances. Choose the habits that best suit you. Play a game that favors your strengths. If you can’t find a game that favors you, create one.Genes do not eliminate the need for hard work. They clarify it. They tell us what to work hard on.”

Truth About Talent

The Goldilocks Rule states that humans experience peak motivation when working on tasks that are right on the edge of their current abilities. The greatest threat to success is not failure but boredom.As habits become routine, they become less interesting and less satisfying. We get bored.Anyone can work hard when they feel motivated. It’s the ability to keep going when work isn’t exciting that makes the difference.Professionals stick to the schedule; amateurs let life get in the way

The Goldilocks Rule

The upside of habits is that we can do things without thinking. The downside is that we stop paying attention to little errors."Habits + Deliberate Practice = Mastery”Reflection and review is a process that allows you to remain conscious of your performance over time. The tighter we cling to an identity, the harder it becomes to grow beyond it.

Downside Of Creating Good Habits

The #1 New York Times bestseller. Over 2 million copies sold! Tiny Changes, Remarkable Results No matter your goals, Atomic Habits offers a proven framework for improving--every day. James Clear, one of the world's leading experts on habit formation, reveals practical strategies that will teach you exactly how to form good habits, break bad ones, and master the tiny behaviors that lead to remarkable results. If you're having trouble changing your habits, the problem isn't you. The problem is your system. Bad habits repeat themselves again and again not because you don't want to change, but because you have the wrong system for change. You do not rise to the level of your goals. You fall to the level of your systems. Here, you'll get a proven system that can take you to new heights. Clear is known for his ability to distill complex topics into simple behaviors that can be easily applied to daily life and work. Here, he draws on the most proven ideas from biology, psychology, and neuroscience to create an easy-to-understand guide for making good habits inevitable and bad habits impossible. Along the way, readers will be inspired and entertained with true stories from Olympic gold medalists, award-winning artists, business leaders, life-saving physicians, and star comedians who have used the science of small habits to master their craft and vault to the top of their field. Learn how to: • make time for new habits (even when life gets crazy); • overcome a lack of motivation and willpower; • design your environment to make success easier; • get back on track when you fall off course; ...and much more. Atomic Habits will reshape the way you think about progress and success, and give you the tools and strategies you need to transform your habits--whether you are a team looking to win a championship, an organization hoping to redefine an industry, or simply an individual who wishes to quit smoking, lose weight, reduce stress, or achieve any other goal.

personaldevelopment

Personal Development

habits

Habits

The #1 New York Times bestseller. Over 10 million copies sold! Tiny Changes, Remarkable Results No matter your goals, Atomic Habits offers a proven framework for improving--every day. James Clear, one of the world's leading experts on habit formation, reveals practical strategies that will teach you exactly how to form good habits, break bad ones, and master the tiny behaviors that lead to remarkable results. If you're having trouble changing your habits, the problem isn't you. The problem is your system. Bad habits repeat themselves again and again not because you don't want to change, but because you have the wrong system for change. You do not rise to the level of your goals. You fall to the level of your systems. Here, you'll get a proven system that can take you to new heights. Clear is known for his ability to distill complex topics into simple behaviors that can be easily applied to daily life and work. Here, he draws on the most proven ideas from biology, psychology, and neuroscience to create an easy-to-understand guide for making good habits inevitable and bad habits impossible. Along the way, readers will be inspired and entertained with true stories from Olympic gold medalists, award-winning artists, business leaders, life-saving physicians, and star comedians who have used the science of small habits to master their craft and vault to the top of their field. Learn how to: <ul><li>make time for new habits (even when life gets crazy);</li></ul><ul><li>overcome a lack of motivation and willpower;</li></ul><ul><li>design your environment to make success easier;</li></ul><ul><li>get back on track when you fall off course;</li></ul>...and much more. Atomic Habits will reshape the way you think about progress and success, and give you the tools and strategies you need to transform your habits--whether you are a team looking to win a championship, an organization hoping to redefine an industry, or simply an individual who wishes to quit smoking, lose weight, reduce stress, or achieve any other goal.

James Clear is the author of "Atomic Habits: An Easy & Proven Way to Build Good Habits & Break Bad Ones" He writes about habits, decision-making, and continuous improvement at jamesclear.com. His website receives millions of visitors each month and hundreds of thousands subscribe to his popular email newsletter.His work has appeared in the New York Times, Entrepreneur, Time, and on CBS This Morning. He is a regular speaker at Fortune 500 companies and his work is used by teams in the NFL, NBA, and MLB. Learn more at jamesclear.com

James Clear

Atomic Habits

True love is the steadfast presence of your lover, the willingness to stick it out when things get rocky. It demonstrates love when no one else is looking. True love is wholly committed, costing the giver time and effort.

The Hollywood projections of their love stories has broken many hearts. Three truth behind marriage says many different stories, which we may call 'behind the scenes'. Those book will shed light on various things that couples get through, what we call 'through thick and thin'. Marriage is a test of persons patience and commitment towards each other. This book might save your marriage and rejuvenate the love that you experienced when you see your soulmate for the first time. Through this book, Ehman offers many lessons that can help anyone achieve serenity in marriage.

In Short

1. First, love goes through four different stages according to the New Testament.2. Love has different languages, and we must learn how to understand each one and appreciate them.3. Second, seek guidance from God through prayers if you need to overcome turbulent times.

Lessons Learnt

Love is a powerful sentiment that has to be maintained and nourished in a marriage. However, we can’t expect it to stay the same forever, even if we care for our partner and do everything right. Love changes and takes different forms over time, and we have to learn to evolve with it and with our partners. According to new testament, love takes four different forms:1. Erotic love2. Brotherly love3. Familial love4. Love that originates with God

1. Love Changes With Time

Erotic love- Passion: This type of affection happens when we first fall for someone, but it fades over time and evolves into something else. This type of love is selfish, as it’s all about how the other person makes us feel.Brotherly love- similar to friendship: This is a normal and quite important stage of marriage. This part of love is conditional, as we love someone because they feel the same for us.

Stages Of Love

Familial love: We love our significant other because we’re expected to love them by this time in the relationship. However, it’s dangerous to let our love sit here for too long, as it can get monotonous. Love that originates with God: This is unconditional love. This type is selfless, similar to the love God has for us. Love the other despite his faults and not for his acts. At this stage, a successful marriage should be kind, loving, and peaceful.

Continued...

We all express and feel love differently. Consequently, understanding those differences can make a serious impact on your relationship. There are five primary love languages that people speak. These include 1. Words of affirmation2. Quality time3. Physical touch.4. Acts of service. 5. Receiving gifts.

2. Understand Love Languages

In simple terms, the words of affirmation love language is about expressing affection through spoken words, praise, or appreciation. When this is someone's primary love language, they enjoy kind words and encouragement. They also enjoy uplifting quotes, love notes, and cute text messages. You can make this person's day by complimenting them or pointing out what they do well.

Words Of Affirmation

Love and affection are expressed through this love language when someone gives someone else their undivided attention. This means putting down the cell phone and turning off the tablet, making eye contact and actively listening. People with this love language are looking for quality over quantity. So, when you get together, they feel loved if you are present and focused on them. Make sure that you make eye contact, affirm what the other person is saying, and refrain from offering advice.

Quality Time 

A person with this love language feels loved through physical affection. Aside from sex, those who have physical touch as their primary love language feel loved when their partner shows physical affection in some way like holding their hand, touching their arm, or giving them a massage at the end of the day. Additionally, their idea of a perfect date might include cuddling on the couch with a glass of wine and a good movie. They simply want to be close to their partners physically.

Physical Touch

When someone's primary love language is acts of service, they feel loved and appreciated when people do nice things for them. Whether it's helping with the dishes or putting gas in the car, little acts of service go straight to the person's heart. They love when people do little things for them and often can be found doing little things for others.

Acts of Service

To a person whose love language is receiving gifts, gift-giving is symbolic of love and affection in their mind. They treasure not only the gift itself but also the time and effort the gift giver put into it. What's more, they do not necessarily expect large or expensive gifts, the love language receiving gifts is more what is behind the gift that appeals to them.

Receiving Gifts

Sometimes it can be difficult to oversee some negative aspects of your partner and remember the good ones. Always remember that every relationship has ups and downs and that bad times only last so much. However, we can’t avoid trouble knocking at our door. When it does, you will want to be prepared. Keep in mind that God is around you at all times and that difficulties in life are inevitable, but they will pass with a little faith. Pray for an opportunity to learn, listen, and forgive, rather than cry in despair over what happens.

3. Seeking God In Difficult Times

Remember that your partner isn’t perfect, but you knew that when you chose to marry them. Embrace their differences and respect that sometimes they are going through some changes themselves. Always remember that both of you are humans, and this means that you are also flawed.  After accepting your situation and starting to reconnect with God, don’t expect your troubles to vanish. Instead, develop a meaningful relationship and don’t give up on your prayers while also making sure to practice gratitude and ask for patience and strength.

Love Is In The Air

It is true that opposites attract--for a while. But often as the years go by in our marriages, opposites may also begin to attack. The habits and characteristics we once found endearing about our significant other are the exact things that drive us crazy years later! Whether you and your spouse disagree about finances, parenting, or how to load the dishwasher, your differences don't need to divide you. They can actually bring you closer together--and closer to God. In Keep Showing Up, Karen Ehman shows you… How to play to each other's strengths as you work on your own weaknesses The difference between having a soul mate and having a sole mate How to become a faithful forgiver who also forgets Strategies for avoiding the social media comparison trap Why it's dangerous to mimic a friend's marriage How to unearth the magic in the mundane Why a spouse who drives you crazy can drive you straight to Jesus Throughout Keep Showing Up, Karen includes ideas to implement in your marriage right now, such as powerful statements to speak to your spouse, date-night-on-a-shoestring suggestions, and discussion starters. Discover how your "incompatibility" can become the strength of your marital team in this real-life guide to both living with and loving your spouse--differences and all.

Discover how your differences can become the strength of your marriage in this real-life guide to both living with and loving your spouse.It is true that opposites attract--for a while. But often as the years go by in our marriages, opposites may also begin to attack. The habits and characteristics we once found endearing about our significant other are the exact things that drive us crazy years later!Whether you and your spouse disagree about finances, parenting, or how to load the dishwasher, your differences don't need to divide you. They can actually bring you closer together--and closer to God.In Keep Showing Up, Karen Ehman shows you . . .<ul><li>How to play to each other's strengths as you work on your own weaknesses</li><li>The difference between having a soul mate and having a sole mate</li><li>How to become a faithful forgiver who also forgets</li><li>Strategies for avoiding the social media comparison trap</li><li>Why it's dangerous to mimic a friend's marriage</li><li>How to unearth the magic in the mundane</li><li>Why a spouse who drives you crazy can drive you straight to Jesus</li></ul>Throughout Keep Showing Up, Karen also includes ideas to implement in your marriage right now, such as powerful statements to speak to your spouse, date-night-on-a-shoestring suggestions, and discussion starters.

Karen Ehman

Keep Showing Up

"Life is essentially an endless loop problems. Solution to one problem is merely creation of another."

Oozing happiness all the time may not be a feasible option. This fast pace world is a bit overwhelming on our daily shedules, but we are still happy doing our things even if we can't bear a smile over our face. We feel fulfilled after completing our chores. This mode could be satisfying, toiling through the day, not thinking about happiness or sadness. That is what I mean by 'Art of not giving a f*ck'.

Toiling

1. Values can't control our bad values to follow.2. Don't believe that you know anything with certainty, for it keeps you from improving.3. Trying to leave a legacy might run your life. Trying to not give a f*ck about most of the things is that you'll be able to give one about what really matters most to you in life.

Important Lessons

Focus on things that you can control. See when people around you stay taking control of your life, you stop taking taking control of your little steps. Start taking small steps that you can control. They are intangible assets. With time they will compound which will make you shine among others. Choose values that you can control.<ul><li>As a matter of fact think hard of values like punctuality and popularity. Can you control them??</li><li>Can you control values like honesty and kindness??</li></ul>Provide comments...

Hold Values You Control

'When the cup is full nothing can be poured in it everything will be spilled over. So, to climb the ladder of knowledge you need to keep your cup empty.'Rejecting the idea that you know anything will open you up for factual knowledge, scientific methodology and conceptual knowledge. This helps arriving at better decisions.If you allow yourself a little doubt, you can disprove any limiting beliefs about yourself and others

Certainty Hampers Growth

Leaving a dent in the universe. Why?Why we all strive to leave a legacy. Most of us are ruining our lives trying to chase this dream. We need to share our universe with our loved ones. Help others. Make commune. Gather like minded people around you. Let alone the legacy take care of itself.The more we are driven to build a great body of work, the more we start chasing fame, working to much and focusing on future. What if, we start living in present enjoy our days while we a fully present here.

Don't Obsess About Leaving A Legacy

I pursued happiness like an addict pursues their next hit. I tried everything to try and be happy, but no matter what I tried, it didn’t make happy.In fact, the opposite happened, it made me miserable.I was pursuing happiness for the sake of it, there was no meaning behind my pursuit. I just wanted to be happy, but you can’t be happy simply by chasing it.I think the best way to describe happiness is from this quote by Eleanor Roosevelt."Happiness is not a goal... It's a by-product of a weak or lived life."

The Pursuit of Happiness makes you unhappy

#1 New York Times Bestseller Over 1 million copies sold In this generation-defining self-help guide, a superstar blogger cuts through the crap to show us how to stop trying to be "positive" all the time so that we can truly become better, happier people. For decades, we’ve been told that positive thinking is the key to a happy, rich life. "F**k positivity," Mark Manson says. "Let’s be honest, shit is f**ked and we have to live with it." In his wildly popular Internet blog, Manson doesn’t sugarcoat or equivocate. He tells it like it is—a dose of raw, refreshing, honest truth that is sorely lacking today. The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F**k is his antidote to the coddling, let’s-all-feel-good mindset that has infected American society and spoiled a generation, rewarding them with gold medals just for showing up. Manson makes the argument, backed both by academic research and well-timed poop jokes, that improving our lives hinges not on our ability to turn lemons into lemonade, but on learning to stomach lemons better. Human beings are flawed and limited—"not everybody can be extraordinary, there are winners and losers in society, and some of it is not fair or your fault." Manson advises us to get to know our limitations and accept them. Once we embrace our fears, faults, and uncertainties, once we stop running and avoiding and start confronting painful truths, we can begin to find the courage, perseverance, honesty, responsibility, curiosity, and forgiveness we seek. There are only so many things we can give a f**k about so we need to figure out which ones really matter, Manson makes clear. While money is nice, caring about what you do with your life is better, because true wealth is about experience. A much-needed grab-you-by-the-shoulders-and-look-you-in-the-eye moment of real-talk, filled with entertaining stories and profane, ruthless humor, The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F**k is a refreshing slap for a generation to help them lead contented, grounded lives.

Understand yourself and those around you.

psychology

Psychology

mentalhealth

Mental Health

#1 New York Times BestsellerOver 10 million copies soldIn this generation-defining self-help guide, a superstar blogger cuts through the crap to show us how to stop trying to be "positive" all the time so that we can truly become better, happier people.For decades, we’ve been told that positive thinking is the key to a happy, rich life. "F**k positivity," Mark Manson says. "Let’s be honest, shit is f**ked and we have to live with it." In his wildly popular Internet blog, Manson doesn’t sugarcoat or equivocate. He tells it like it is—a dose of raw, refreshing, honest truth that is sorely lacking today. The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F**k is his antidote to the coddling, let’s-all-feel-good mindset that has infected American society and spoiled a generation, rewarding them with gold medals just for showing up.Manson makes the argument, backed both by academic research and well-timed poop jokes, that improving our lives hinges not on our ability to turn lemons into lemonade, but on learning to stomach lemons better. Human beings are flawed and limited—"not everybody can be extraordinary, there are winners and losers in society, and some of it is not fair or your fault." Manson advises us to get to know our limitations and accept them. Once we embrace our fears, faults, and uncertainties, once we stop running and avoiding and start confronting painful truths, we can begin to find the courage, perseverance, honesty, responsibility, curiosity, and forgiveness we seek.There are only so many things we can give a f**k about so we need to figure out which ones really matter, Manson makes clear. While money is nice, caring about what you do with your life is better, because true wealth is about experience. A much-needed grab-you-by-the-shoulders-and-look-you-in-the-eye moment of real-talk, filled with entertaining stories and profane, ruthless humor, The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F**k is a refreshing slap for a generation to help them lead contented, grounded lives.

Mark Manson (born 1984) is a professional blogger, entrepreneur, and former dating coach. Since 2007, he's been helping people with their emotional and relationship problems. He has worked with thousands of people from over 30 different countries. He regularly writes and updates his blog at: www.markmanson.net

Mark Manson

The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck

Hopelessness is the root of mental illness, anxiety and depression. It is the source of all misery, and cause of all addiction.

Most of us believe that if we can avoid the pains and discomforts of life, we’ll be happy. With technological advancements and more and more services, we’re trying to make our lives easier. We buy things hoping they will solve all our problems. But as a result, we’re becoming more anxious and depressed. So, what do we do when everything is f*cked? This book is follow-up to his mega-bestseller The Subtle Art Of Not Giving A F*ck, Mark Manson suggests that anger and sadness are not the opposite of happiness. According to him, the root cause of unhappiness is hopelessness.

Why Read This Book?

With hope, we get the strength to move forward as we believe in a better future. But the way we try to fill our current void of hopelessness is destructive. Having unrealistic beliefs about the perfect future is making us mentally ill and self-centered. We lose sight of virtues like courage, honesty, and humility in the pursuit of making our lives more comfortable, easier, and happier.

Hope

1. Pure logic won’t help you make the best decisions, a balanced brain will.2. Hope won’t solve your problems, it takes acceptance and principles to do that.3. The solution to mental illnesses is not chasing happiness, it is to attain true freedom from our addictions and dependencies.

Takeaways

For example, if you want to stop eating junk food, your Thinking Brain would tell you that it’s bad for you and you should stop eating it. But the Feeling Brain often decides whether something is “good” or “bad” in the moment. You need to appeal to both the Thinking Brain and the Feeling Brain to make better decisions in the present.

Lesson 1: Pure logic won’t help you make the best decisions

Every religion has one thing in common – it gives a sense of hope and faith to its followers. People love to adopt such views because of their unhappy lives. But the problem with such hope-related beliefs, as the German philosopher Friedrich Nietzsche identified, is that hope divides people’s perception into “good” and “bad.” It creates more unhappiness and conflict than meaning in life.Nietzsche asked us to look beyond good and evil to accept uncomfortable truths about life, such as insignificance and death. He called this embrace-the-void approach “Amor Fati,” which means “love one’s fate.”

Lesson 2: Hope won’t solve your problems.

Meditation is an excellent way to embrace life’s uncomfortable truths. It gives you space to acknowledge, accept, and let go of dark thoughts that cloud your perception. Mindfulness will make you comfortable with the fact that everything is, in fact, f*cked.

Meditation

Another philosopher, Immanuel Kant, suggested that we stop behaving in transactional ways. For example, you shouldn’t act kindly to get something from another person. Instead, be kind because doing so is a reward in itself. In the same way, don’t steal from others in hope to reach heaven. Avoid theft because it is the right thing to do.To adopt Kant’s philosophy, develop strong principles to build your character and become a person who does the right thing. As children, we did what we felt like doing, but as adults, we can motivate ourselves based on ethics.

Philosophy

For instance, as kids, we didn’t steal because we feared getting caught. As adults, we should not become thieves because it doesn’t align with our values. You can also use your principles to motivate yourself to do the necessary things, even when they are uncomfortable or painful

Values

Any marketer or buyer knows the power of hitting potential customer’s pain points to get people to make purchases. We’re all trying to buy our way to happiness to make us feel better. Many advertisers take advantage of our desire for happiness to sell us products that we don’t need.Businesses often justify creating more products, claiming they are “giving people what they want.” In competitive markets, people have more products to choose from. While this may sound like more freedom in the hands of consumers, it often leads to more confusion and pain.

3. Pursuit Of Happiness Leads To More Depression And Anxiety.

With the rise in technology, we’re trying to make life easier for ourselves. But as a side effect, we’re giving away our freedom by becoming addicted to services and devices. Our compulsive use leads to less self-control, which causes depression and anxiety. True freedom and happiness come when your well-being is not dependent on the comfort that comes from emerging products and services. When you reduce things from your life and take charge of your behavior on platforms like social media, it gives you liberty by freeing up your time and attention.

Happiness

Everything Is F*cked aims to bring some hope in a world where everything is f*cked. Mark describes everything wrong with the way we approach happiness and offers solutions from old-school philosophy to solve the problems we face in the modern world. While the book may come off as pessimistic at first, it has timeless principles that will give you some hope at last.

Review

From the author of the international mega-bestseller The Subtle Art of Not Giving A F*ck comes a counterintuitive guide to the problems of hope. We live in an interesting time. Materially, everything is the best it’s ever been—we are freer, healthier and wealthier than any people in human history. Yet, somehow everything seems to be irreparably and horribly f*cked—the planet is warming, governments are failing, economies are collapsing, and everyone is perpetually offended on Twitter. At this moment in history, when we have access to technology, education and communication our ancestors couldn’t even dream of, so many of us come back to an overriding feeling of hopelessness. What’s going on? If anyone can put a name to our current malaise and help fix it, it’s Mark Manson. In 2016, Manson published The Subtle Art of Not Giving A F*ck, a book that brilliantly gave shape to the ever-present, low-level hum of anxiety that permeates modern living. He showed us that technology had made it too easy to care about the wrong things, that our culture had convinced us that the world owed us something when it didn’t—and worst of all, that our modern and maddening urge to always find happiness only served to make us unhappier. Instead, the “subtle art” of that title turned out to be a bold challenge: to choose your struggle; to narrow and focus and find the pain you want to sustain. The result was a book that became an international phenomenon, selling millions of copies worldwide while becoming the #1 bestseller in 13 different countries. Now, in Everthing Is F*cked, Manson turns his gaze from the inevitable flaws within each individual self to the endless calamities taking place in the world around us. Drawing from the pool of psychological research on these topics, as well as the timeless wisdom of philosophers such as Plato, Nietzsche, and Tom Waits, he dissects religion and politics and the uncomfortable ways they have come to resemble one another. He looks at our relationships with money, entertainment and the internet, and how too much of a good thing can psychologically eat us alive. He openly defies our definitions of faith, happiness, freedom—and even of hope itself. With his usual mix of erudition and where-the-f*ck-did-that-come-from humor, Manson takes us by the collar and challenges us to be more honest with ourselves and connected with the world in ways we probably haven’t considered before. It’s another counterintuitive romp through the pain in our hearts and the stress of our soul. One of the great modern writers has produced another book that will set the agenda for years to come.

NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER From the author of the international mega-bestseller The Subtle Art of Not Giving A F*ck comes a counterintuitive guide to the problems of hope. We live in an interesting time. Materially, everything is the best it’s ever been—we are freer, healthier and wealthier than any people in human history. Yet, somehow everything seems to be irreparably and horribly f*cked—the planet is warming, governments are failing, economies are collapsing, and everyone is perpetually offended on Twitter. At this moment in history, when we have access to technology, education and communication our ancestors couldn’t even dream of, so many of us come back to an overriding feeling of hopelessness. What’s going on? If anyone can put a name to our current malaise and help fix it, it’s Mark Manson. In 2016, Manson published The Subtle Art of Not Giving A F*ck, a book that brilliantly gave shape to the ever-present, low-level hum of anxiety that permeates modern living. He showed us that technology had made it too easy to care about the wrong things, that our culture had convinced us that the world owed us something when it didn’t—and worst of all, that our modern and maddening urge to always find happiness only served to make us unhappier. Instead, the “subtle art” of that title turned out to be a bold challenge: to choose your struggle; to narrow and focus and find the pain you want to sustain. The result was a book that became an international phenomenon, selling millions of copies worldwide while becoming the #1 bestseller in 13 different countries. Now, in Everthing Is F*cked, Manson turns his gaze from the inevitable flaws within each individual self to the endless calamities taking place in the world around us. Drawing from the pool of psychological research on these topics, as well as the timeless wisdom of philosophers such as Plato, Nietzsche, and Tom Waits, he dissects religion and politics and the uncomfortable ways they have come to resemble one another. He looks at our relationships with money, entertainment and the internet, and how too much of a good thing can psychologically eat us alive. He openly defies our definitions of faith, happiness, freedom—and even of hope itself. With his usual mix of erudition and where-the-f*ck-did-that-come-from humor, Manson takes us by the collar and challenges us to be more honest with ourselves and connected with the world in ways we probably haven’t considered before. It’s another counterintuitive romp through the pain in our hearts and the stress of our soul. One of the great modern writers has produced another book that will set the agenda for years to come.

Everything Is F*cked

Children won't form on their own like seedlings, Children grow through their relationships with others

The book will help you to step back Focus on more bigger picture of parenting to foster a strong relationship with your child so that they can grow emotionally and mentally healthy

What Is It About?

<ol><li>Insight 1: The way we react to parenting situations is tied up to our own childhood.</li><li>Insight 2: Validate your child's feelings, even the irrational ones</li><li>Insight 3: There are things we can do as parents to encourage sound mental health.</li></ol>

3 Key Insights

The way we react to parenting situations is tied up to our own childhood._________________________________Remember yourself as a child.Think about what makes you angryOr frustrated as parent. Then, try to remember if anything similar used to happen to you were young. Try to draw links between your childhood and your own child's present, and address any emotions attached.

Insight 1

Validate your child's feelings, even the irrational ones._________________________________Meet your child At their level.Instead of flying off the handle to match your child's tantrums, come down to their l level and ask them. Ask them why they are and try to meditate that emotion. Show that you understand where are coming from and try to come to a solution that they can appreciate.

Insight 2

There are things that we can do as parents to encourage sound mental health._________________________________Be engaged around your kidThese moments will pass you by if you are not careful, so relish every moment with your child. Put your phone away and turn your TV off. Listen to what they are saying and ask questions, Instead of replying. Encourage them to play and Join in.

Insight 3

"A beautifully comprehensive look at what it might mean to be a sane and emotionally intelligent parent . . . hugely warm, wise, hopeful and encouraging."--Alain de Botton, author of How Proust Can Change Your Life Instant #1 Sunday Times Bestseller Every parent wants their child to be happy and every parent wants to avoid screwing them up (the way their parents did!). But how do you do that? In this absorbing, clever, and warm book, renowned psychotherapist Philippa Perry tells us what really matters and what behavior it is important to avoid--the vital dos and don'ts of parenting. Her approach begins with parents themselves and their own psychological make-up and history--and how that in turn influences one's parenting. Instead of mapping out the "perfect" plan, Perry offers a big-picture look at the elements that lead to good parent-child relationships. This refreshing judgement-free book will help you to: • Understand how your own upbringing may affect your parenting • Accept that you will make mistakes and learn what you can do about them • Break negative cycles and patterns • Handle your own and child's feelings • Understand what different behaviors communicate Full of sage and sane advice, The Book You Wish Your Parents Had Read is one every parent will want to read and every child will wish their parents had. A PAMELA DORMAN BOOKS/VIKING LIFE TITLE

More than 1.3 million copies sold worldwide! “A wonderful book”―Richard Osman “If you're determinedly not a self-help kind of reader (like me), make an exception for [this book]. And if you're not a parent, don't dismiss it. The message is one of non-judgmental kindness.”―Vogue (London)   How can we have better relationships? In this instant Sunday Times bestseller, leading psychotherapist Philippa Perry reveals the vital do's and don'ts of relationships. This is a book for us all. Whether you are interested in understanding how your upbringing has shaped you, looking to handle your child's feelings or wishing to support your partner, you will find indispensable information and realistic tips in these pages. Philippa Perry's sane, sage and judgement-free advice is an essential resource on how to have the best possible relationships with the people who matter to you most.