Red Flags, Green Flags - Deepstash
Red Flags, Green Flags

Gözde Yeşiltaş's Key Ideas from Red Flags, Green Flags
by Dr Ali Fenwick

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Understanding Red & Green Flags

📌 Main Point: Red flags are warning signs in relationships, while green flags indicate healthy behaviors.

🌟 Bright Side: You can train yourself to recognize and respond to these signs before getting deeply involved.

⛅ Silver Lining: Many people ignore red flags due to emotional attachment or wishful thinking.

🚀 Real Momentum: Start observing behaviors over words—patterns don’t lie.

🎯 Key Takeaway: Emotional intelligence helps you spot these signs early.

🤝 Friends/Foes: Friends: Self-aware, emotionally intelligent people. Foes: Manipulative or unaware individuals.

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730 reads

Emotional Manipulation (Red Flags)

📌 Main Point: Gaslighting, guilt-tripping, and emotional blackmail are signs of manipulation.

🌟 Bright Side: Recognizing these tactics helps you detach and set boundaries.

⛅ Silver Lining: Even if you’ve fallen for them before, you can learn and protect yourself moving forward.

🚀 Real Momentum: When you feel confused or guilty, ask: “Is this manipulation?”

🎯 Key Takeaway: Trust actions, not just words. Manipulators often say what you want to hear.

🤝 Friends/Foes: Foes: Narcissists, gaslighters, and those who use excessive guilt.

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657 reads

Respect & Boundaries (Green Flags)

📌 Main Point: A person’s respect for your time, feelings, and limits is a major green flag.

🌟 Bright Side: Strong boundaries lead to healthy, lasting relationships.

⛅ Silver Lining: People who get angry at your boundaries were benefitting from you lacking them.

🚀 Real Momentum: Say “no” without over-explaining—your needs matter.

🎯 Key Takeaway: If someone respects your “no” without guilt-tripping, they are worth keeping around.

🤝 Friends/Foes: Friends: Those who respect your space. Foes: Those who push you to overextend yourself.

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568 reads

The Role of Consistency (Red & Green Flags)

📌 Main Point: Inconsistency is a red flag; reliability is a green flag.

🌟 Bright Side: People who follow through on their words build trust.

⛅ Silver Lining: If someone is consistently unreliable, you now have a clear sign to walk away.

🚀 Real Momentum: Look for actions over promises.

🎯 Key Takeaway: Consistency = Integrity.

🤝 Friends/Foes: Friends: Dependable, honest people. Foes: Flaky, unreliable individuals.

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498 reads

Control & Possessiveness (Red Flags)

📌 Main Point: Controlling behavior, even when disguised as “protection,” is a red flag.

🌟 Bright Side: Recognizing control tactics prevents long-term emotional damage.

⛅ Silver Lining: Their need for control isn’t about you—it’s about their own insecurities.

🚀 Real Momentum: Set boundaries early—controlling people test limits.

🎯 Key Takeaway: Love is freedom, not possession.

🤝 Friends/Foes: Foes: Overly jealous, possessive, or controlling individuals.

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453 reads

Emotional Maturity & Communication (Green Flags)

📌 Main Point: Emotionally mature people communicate clearly, take responsibility, and handle conflict calmly.

🌟 Bright Side: No games, no guessing—just honesty.

⛅ Silver Lining: If you’ve dealt with immature people before, now you know what a healthy communicator looks like.

🚀 Real Momentum: When in conflict, observe how they handle disagreements.

🎯 Key Takeaway: Calm, open communication = emotional intelligence.

🤝 Friends/Foes: Friends: Good listeners, open communicators. Foes: Those who shut down or lash out.

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379 reads

Love Bombing & Future Faking (Red Flags)

📌 Main Point: Love bombing (excessive affection early on) is a manipulation tactic to gain control.

🌟 Bright Side: Genuine love grows over time; it’s not rushed.

⛅ Silver Lining: Fast, intense relationships are often unsustainable.

🚀 Real Momentum: Take it slow—if it feels too good to be true, it probably is.

🎯 Key Takeaway: Healthy love is steady, not a rollercoaster.

🤝 Friends/Foes: Foes: People who push for commitment too quickly.

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360 reads

Stability & Long-Term Actions (Green Flags)

📌 Main Point: People who show up consistently over time are worth trusting.

🌟 Bright Side: You don’t have to guess where you stand.

⛅ Silver Lining: If someone was inconsistent before, it’s not your job to fix them.

🚀 Real Momentum: Observe patterns, not just promises.

🎯 Key Takeaway: True relationships are built, not rushed.

🤝 Friends/Foes: Friends: Dependable, emotionally

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348 reads

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