The Public Speaking Expert: This Speaking Mistake Makes People Ignore You! These Small Mistakes Make You Unlikeable! - Deepstash
The Public Speaking Expert: This Speaking Mistake Makes People Ignore You! These Small Mistakes Make You Unlikeable!

The Public Speaking Expert: This Speaking Mistake Makes People Ignore You! These Small Mistakes Make You Unlikeable!

Curated from: The Diary Of A CEO with Steven Bartlett

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“Your voice is an instrument—learn to play it intentionally.”

By simply becoming aware that how you speak (tone, pace, pause, pitch) is more influential than what you say, your communication begins to shift. People respond to presence, rhythm, and feeling—this awareness alone changes how you’re heard.

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Voice Awareness — The Instrument Within

Goal: Unlock awareness of your voice as your most powerful tool.

Learn to identify volume, pitch, tone, and pace in your everyday speech.

Exercise: Record yourself reading a short paragraph three ways: flat, expressive, intentional.

Reflection: How does each version make you feel? How would it make others feel?

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Speaking with Intent — Not Habit

Goal: Move from reactive speech to purposeful communication.

Practice setting a clear communication intention before you speak.

Ask: “What experience do I want the listener to have?”

Drill: Speak on a random topic with the goal of evoking curiosity, then trust, then inspiration.

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The Power of Pause & Silence

Goal: Harness timing and silence to command attention.

Learn to pause before key points.

Use 2-second silences to reset the listener’s mind.

Exercise: Say something powerful and pause. Let it land. Notice the tension and release.

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Contrast Is Charisma

Goal: Learn how dynamic delivery keeps people engaged.

Practice using contrast in voice: loud/soft, fast/slow, bright/serious.

Integrate body language shifts with voice changes for deeper impact.

Challenge: Deliver a 60-second story using 3 clear vocal contrasts.

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Presence = Performance

Goal: Speak like a performer, show up like a leader.

• Mirror work: Practice eye contact, open posture, and facial expression.

• Daily Drill: Deliver a greeting or introduction as if on a stage.

• Identify a “power pose” you can adopt before big conversations.

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Rewire Confidence Through Repetition

Goal: Build deep communication confidence through reflection and refinement.

Replace “I hope they like me” with “I hope I serve them well.”

Rehearse with feedback: film yourself, review posture, tone, and clarity.

Create a weekly journal with these prompts:

What did I say well this week?

Where did I disconnect from my voice?

What one tweak will I apply next time?

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Core Concept: Communication = Influence + Perception

Vinh explains that people often unknowingly push others away with a monotone, dominating, or overly rehearsed speaking style. The real issue isn’t content—it’s how you make others feel when you speak.

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Key Mistake: “Monopolizing the Conversation”

Talking without breaks

Not allowing others room to speak

Speaking in one tone or energy

This isn’t dominance—it’s insecurity disguised as confidence.

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Vocal Mastery: More Than Speaking Clearly

He introduces the idea of the “vocal toolbox”:

Pace: Slow down to emphasize meaning.

Tone: Match emotional nuance.

Volume: Quietness can be more powerful than loudness.

Silence: A strategic pause builds respect.

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The Illusion of Confidence

Many think confidence is being loud or assertive. Vinh reframes this:

“Confidence is grace under pressure—it’s when you can pause, invite others in, and speak like you’re worth being heard without proving it.”

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Performance as Presence

Drawing from his magician background, Vinh compares good communication to stage presence:

You don’t just speak—you perform.

Movement, breath, and eye contact matter just as much as words.

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Mindset Training = Speaking Upgrade

He emphasizes that the quality of your speaking reflects:

Your self-awareness

Your beliefs about your own worth

Your ability to manage emotion while engaging others

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✨ Practical Shifts

  1. Record yourself speaking and analyze your energy shifts.

2. Practice one-minute talks using contrast (fast/slow, soft/loud).

3. Read aloud intentionally, playing with voice control.

4. Meditate before conversations to increase emotional clarity and reduce nervous filler words.

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IDEAS CURATED BY

CURATOR'S NOTE

Inspiration was derived from this podcast. Following content is subjective because it is my personal reflection of it. Thanks for your attention and time 🎩

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