Leaders are effective because of who they are on the inside—in the qualities that make them up as people. And to go to the highest level of leadership, people have to develop these traits from the inside out.Everything rises and falls on leadership. And leadership truly develops from the inside out. If you can become the leader you ought to be on the inside, you will be able to become the leader you want to be on the outside. People will want to follow you. And when that happens, you’ll be able to tackle anything in this world.

Leadership Is An Internal Quality

Leadership is the capacity and will to rally men and women to a common purpose and the character which inspires confidence.

How a leader deals with the circumstances of life tells you many things about his character. Crisis doesn’t necessarily make character, but it certainly does reveal it. Adversity is a crossroads that makes a person choose one of two paths: character or compromise. Every time he chooses character, he becomes stronger, even if that choice brings negative consequences.

CHARACTER: Be a Piece of the Rock

• Search for the cracks. Spend some time looking at the major areas of your life (work, marriage, family, service, etc.), and identify anywhere you might have cut corners, compromised, or let people down.• Look for patterns. Examine the responses that you just wrote down.• Face the music. The beginning of character repair comes when you face your flaws, apologize, and deal with the consequences of your actions.•Rebuild. It’s one thing to face up to your past actions. It’s another to build a new future.

Improving Your Character

How can you have charisma? Be more concerned about making others feel good about themselves than you are making them feel good about you.

Roadblocks to charisma:Pride. Nobody wants to follow a leader who thinks he is better than everyone else.Insecurity. If you are uncomfortable with who you are, others will be too.Moodiness. If people never know what to expect from you, they stop expecting anything.Perfectionism. People respect the desire for excellence, but dread totally unrealistic expectations.Cynicism. People don’t want to be rained on by someone who sees a cloud around every silver lining.

CHARISMA: The First Impression Can Seal the Deal

If you want to be an effective leader, you have to be committed. True commitment inspires and attracts people. It shows them that you have conviction. They will believe in you only if you believe in your cause. When it comes to commitment, there are really only four types of people:1. Cop-outs. People who have no goals and do not commit.2. Holdouts. People who don’t know if they can reach their goals, so they’re afraid to commit.3. Dropouts. People who start toward a goal but quit when the going gets tough.4. All-outs. People who set goals, commit to them and pay the price to reach them.

COMMITMENT: It Separates Doers from Dreamers

Educators take something simple and make it complicated. Communicators take something complicated and make it simple.

To improve your communication, do the following:Be clear as a bell. Examine a letter, memo, or other items you’ve recently written.To be a communicator, your best friends are simplicity and clarity. Write your next piece of communication keeping both in mind.Refocus your attention. During the coming week, pay attention to your focus when you communicate. Is it on you, your material, or your audience? Live your message. Are there any discrepancies between what you communicate and what you do? Talk to a few trustworthy people and ask them whether you are living your message.

COMMUNICATION: Without It You Travel Alone

When you think about people who are competent, you’re really considering only three types of people:1. Those who can see what needs to happen.2. Those who can make it happen.3. Those who can make things happen when it really counts.You’re only as good as your private standards. When was the last time you gave a task your absolute best even though nobody but you would know about it?

COMPETENCE: If You Build It, They Will Come

Face the music.Go out and do something stretching simply for the sake of growing in courage. Skydive. Speak in front of an audience (most people’s greatest fear).  It doesn’t matter what you do as long as it causes you to face a genuine fear.Talk to that person.Most people are avoiding confrontation with someone in their lives. If that’s true for you, talk to that person this week. Don’t dump on him or abuse him. Speak the truth in love. Take a giant step.Maybe you’ve been afraid to make a career move. If you’ve known in your heart that you should have changed jobs, now is the time.

COURAGE: One Person with Courage Is a Majority

Discernment can be described as the ability to find the root of the matter, and it relies on intuition as well as rational thought. Effective leaders need discernment, although even good leaders don’t display it all the time.Never ignore a gut feeling, but never believe that it’s enough.

DISCERNMENT: Put an End to Unsolved Mysteries

A leader who knows his priorities but lacks concentration knows what to do but never gets it done. If he has concentration but no priorities, he has excellence without progress. But when he harnesses both, he has the potential to achieve great things.To get back on track with your focus, do these things:<ul><li>Work on yourself. You are your greatest asset or detriment.</li><li>Work at your priorities. You will have to fight for them.</li><li>Work on your strengths. You can reach your potential</li><li>Work with your contemporaries. You can’t be effective alone.</li></ul>

FOCUS: The Sharper It Is, the Sharper You Are

•Give something away. Find out what kind of hold your possessions have on you. Take something you truly value, think of someone you care about who could benefit from it, and give it to him.  •Put your money to work. If you know someone with the vision to do something really great—something that will positively impact the lives of others—provide resources for him to accomplish it.  •Find someone to mentor. Once you reach a certain level in your leadership, the most valuable thing you have to give is yourself. Find someone to pour your life into.

GENEROSITY: Your Candle Loses Nothing When It Lights Another

Don’t wait for opportunity to knock. Opportunity doesn’t come to the door knocking. You’ve got to go out and look for it. Take stock of your assets, talents, and resources. Doing that will give you an idea of your potential. Now, spend every day for a week looking for opportunities. Where do you see needs? Who is looking for the expertise you have? What unreached group of people is practically dying for what you have to offer? Opportunity is everywhere.

INITIATIVE: You Won’t Leave Home Without It

Keep your ear open to these people:1. Your FollowersGood leaders, the kind that people want to follow, do more than conduct business when they interact with followers.  2. Your CustomersGood leaders always make it a priority to keep in contact with the people they’re serving.3. Your CompetitorsAs a leader, you don’t want to base your actions on what the other guy is doing, but you should still listen and learn what you can to improve yourself.4. Your MentorsNo leader is so advanced or experienced that he can afford to be without a mentor.

LISTENING: To Connect with Their Hearts, Use Your Ears

Listen to the whispers and you won’t have to hear the screams.

If you look at the lives of effective leaders, you will find that they often don’t fit into a stereotypical mold. For example, more than 50 percent of all CEOs of Fortune 500 companies had C or C– averages in college. Nearly 75 percent of all U.S. presidents were in the bottom half of their school classes. And more than 50 percent of all millionaire entrepreneurs never finished college. What makes it possible for people who might seem ordinary to achieve great things? The answer is passion. Nothing can take the place of passion in a leader’s life.

PASSION: Take This Life and Love It

If you desire to be an effective leader, having a positive attitude is essential. It not only determines your level of contentment as a person, but it also has an impact on how others interact with you.The greatest discovery of this generation is that human beings can alter their lives by altering their attitude.

POSITIVE ATTITUDE: If You Believe You Can, You Can

No leader can simultaneously have his head in the sand and navigate his people through troubled waters. Effective leaders face up to the reality of a situation.The ability to solve problems effectively comes from experience facing and overcoming obstacles. Each time you solve another problem, you get a little better at the process. But if you never try, fail, and try again, you’ll never be good at it.

PROBLEM SOLVING: You Can’t Let Your Problems Be a Problem

<ul><li>TIME—spend time to discover the real issue.</li><li>EXPOSURE—find out what others have done.</li><li>ASSISTANCE—have your team study all angles.</li><li>CREATIVITY —brainstorm multiple solutions.</li><li>HIT IT —implement the best solution</li></ul>

The TEACH Process for Problem Solving

The first quality of a relational leader is the ability to understand how people feel and think. As you work with others, recognize that all people, whether leaders or followers, have some things in common:<ul><li>They like to feel special, so sincerely compliment them.</li><li>They want a better tomorrow, so show them hope.</li><li>They desire direction, so navigate for them.</li><li>They are selfish, so speak to their needs first.</li><li>They get low emotionally, so encourage them.</li><li>They want success, so help them win.</li></ul>

RELATIONSHIPS: If You Get Along, They’ll Go Along

Good leaders never embrace a victim mentality. They recognize that who and where they are, remain their responsibility— not that of their parents, their spouses, their children, the government, their bosses, or their coworkers. They face whatever life throws at them and give it their best, knowing that they will get an opportunity to lead the team only if they’ve proved that they can carry the ball.

RESPONSIBILITY: If You Won’t Carry the Ball, You Can’t Lead the Team

No one can live on a level inconsistent with the way he sees himself. You may have observed that in people. If someone sees himself as a loser, he finds a way to lose. Anytime his success surpasses his security, the result is self-destruction. That’s not only true for followers, but it’s also true for leaders.Insecure leaders are dangerous—to themselves, their followers, and the organizations they lead—because a leadership position amplifies personal flaws. Whatever negative baggage you have in life only gets more difficult to bear when you’re trying to lead others.

SECURITY: Competence Never Compensates for Insecurity

As a leader, you already have too little time. Now all you need is a plan. If you can determine what’s really a priority and release yourself from everything else, it’s a lot easier to follow through on what’s important. And that’s the essence of self-discipline.The first and best victory is to conquer self.

SELF-DISCIPLINE: The First Person You Lead Is You

Servanthood is not about position or skill. It’s about attitude. You have undoubtedly met people in service positions who have poor attitudes toward servanthood: the rude worker at the government agency, the waiter who can’t be bothered with taking your order, the store clerk who talks on the phone with a friend instead of helping you.Just as you can sense when a worker doesn’t want to help people, you can just as easily detect whether a leader has a servant’s heart. And the truth is that the best leaders desire to serve others, not themselves.

SERVANTHOOD: To Get Ahead, Put Others First

Leaders face the danger of contentment with the status quo. After all, if a leader already possesses influence and has achieved a level of respect, why should he keep growing? The answer is simple:<ul><li>Your growth determines who you are.</li><li>Who you are determines who you attract.</li><li>Who you attract determines the success of your organization.</li><li>If you want to grow your organization, you have to remain teachable.</li></ul>

TEACHABILITY: To Keep Leading, Keep Learning

To improve your vision, do the following:•Measure yourself. If you have previously thought about the vision for your life and articulated it, measure how well you are carrying it out.•Write it down. If you’ve thought about your vision but never put it in writing, take the time to do it today. Writing clarifies your thinking. •Do a gut check. If you haven’t done a lot of work on vision, spend the next several weeks or months thinking about it. Consider what really impacts you at a gut level.

VISION: You Can Seize Only What You Can See

<ol><li>What makes you cry? </li><li>What makes you dream? </li><li>What gives you energy? </li></ol>Also think about what you’d like to see change in the world around you. What do you see that isn’t—but could be? Once your ideas start to become clearer, write them down and talk to a mentor about them.

Answer The Three Questions

“The 21 Indispensable Qualities of a Leader gets straight to the heart of leadership issues. Maxwell once again touches on the process of developing the art of leadership by giving the reader practical tools and insights into developing the qualities found in great leaders.” - Kenneth Blanchard, Coauthor of The One Minute Manager® “Dr. John Maxwell is the authority on leadership today. His innovative yet timeless principles on how to effectively lead others have personally impacted my life and my business. This is a must-read for any organization that wants to succeed in the new millennium.” -Peter Lowe, President of Peter Lowe International and Peter Lowe’s SUCCESS Seminars “My dear friend John Maxwell has proven his ability to lead leaders. I anticipate learning even more from his new book.” -Max Lucado, Author of Just Like Jesus

personaldevelopment

Personal Development

communication

Communication

books

Books

leadershipandmanagement

Leadership & Management

Leaders are always looking for an edge. That often sends many of them looking for the next big thing. Although leadership approaches and trendy management fads come and go, what remains the same? The qualities of a leader.Internationally-recognized leadership expert, speaker, and author John C. Maxwell touches on the process of developing the art of leadership by giving the reader practical tools and insights into developing the qualities found in great leaders.As the authority on leadership today, Maxwell shares his innovative yet timeless principles on how to effectively lead others has impacted the lives of thousands of business leaders.In The 21 Indispensable Qualities of a Leader, Maxwell expands on the qualities every leaders needs to be successful such as:<ul><li>Character – be a piece of the rock</li><li>Charisma – the first impression can seal the deal</li><li>Communication – without it, you travel alone</li><li>Commitment – it separates doers from dreamers</li><li>Competence – if you build it, they will come</li></ul>Everything rises and falls on leadership, and leadership truly develops from the inside out. If you can become the leader you ought to be on the inside, you will become the leader you want to be on the outside.The 21 Indispensable Qualities of a Leader will show you that when you develop these qualities, people will want to follow you. When that happens, you’ll be able to tackle anything in the world.

John Calvin Maxwell is an American author, speaker, and pastor who has written many books, primarily focusing on leadership. Titles include The 21 Irrefutable Laws of Leadership and The 21 Indispensable Qualities of a Leader. His books have sold millions of copies, with some on the New York Times Best Seller List.

John C. Maxwell

The 21 Indispensable Qualities of a Leader

As we juggle the demands of this ongoing pandemic, friendships have shifted in all sorts of unexpected ways. Many people now seem to have less stamina for socializing.People became used to having smaller social circles, and some realized they prefer keeping it that way. As a result, these people might be more choosy about the friendships they do invest time in. That’s mostly a good thing, but it can be painful for the people who are hurt that they are no longer a priority.

Fewer Friends For All

A lopsided friendship happens when one friend is more active in maintaining contact and the other friend is more passive about keeping the connection going. It’s understandable to be sad or upset if you’re the one constantly reaching out, sending thoughtful messages and asking if you can schedule brunch or happy hour together.We live longer if we feel connected and supported. So when someone expresses that they’re perhaps not as interested in being friends with us or they need a break or whatever, that can trigger this innate fear inside of us that we’re going to be alone or unvalued.

Lopsided Friendships

It’s easy to jump to conclusions and assume that if we don’t hear from someone as often as we’d like to, that means they don’t like us, or they don’t value our friendship. More likely: The other person is just busy — it’s not that deep.The solution for baseless assumptions? Challenge these beliefs, which are likely way off-base. Are these negative thoughts based in reality, or is this your insecurity speaking?

Resist the Urge to Make Assumptions

People often wait to alert their friend to an issue until it’s boiled over from annoyance to full-on anger. The best time to address the issue is when you begin feeling that distance or imbalance in the relationship.You might be tempted to blurt out, “Hey, I haven’t heard from you in a while. What gives?” But that could put your friend on the defence. Instead, let them know you’re reaching out to them out of a desire for their company, and not accusing them of what they’re failing to do.

Invite, Don’t Accuse

Your friend may be feeling like this is more of a logistics problem, and isn’t aware that you’re open to changing your established routine. So the next time you reach out, you could say something like:<ul><li>Would you want to try something different the next time we meet? Maybe we can grab tea instead of cocktails?</li><li>Instead of meeting up for brunch, maybe we could grab a coffee or go for a walk in the park?</li><li>Maybe we can go on a double date so we can include our significant others?</li></ul>

Be Flexible

Your friend also might prefer to change the mode and frequency of communication. Maybe texting is better for them instead of taking phone calls. Or they might want to talk on the phone once a week instead of exchanging DMs on a social platform they’re no longer using. Ask!

Changing The Medium

Lots of people may find themselves on the opposite side of the spectrum: They’re the ones who are too snowed under to invest in their friendships. In this case, it is your responsibility, as a friend, to let the other person know about what they can expect from you for the foreseeable future. It saves a lot of heartache for everyone if you tell them the truth about what is going on with you.

If You’re the One Who Can’t Prioritize Your Friendships, Be Upfront About It

If you need to let a friend know you won’t be as available in the future try saying this:<ul><li>I know we tend to talk on the phone for hours, but I probably have an hour max on Sundays before I have to prepare for the week.</li><li>It’s been really hard for me to talk on the phone lately, so texting is the best way to reach me these next few weeks.</li><li>Hey, I know we usually talk every week. In this season of work, I’m swamped. I’ll drop you a line when things calm down.</li></ul>

Giving The Signal

If you think a pal is way less (or way more) invested than you are, here’s what to do.

Understand yourself and those around you.

psychology

Psychology

loveandrelationships

Love & Relationships

How to handle a lopsided friendship

Forgiveness is often viewed as the “happily ever after” ending in a story of wrongdoing or injustice. Someone enacts harm, the typical arc goes, but eventually sees the error of their ways and offers a heartfelt apology. “Can you ever forgive me?” Then you, the hurt person, are faced with a choice: Show them mercy — granting yourself peace in the process — or hold a grudge forever. The choice is yours.It’s reasonable to expect an apology when you’re the one who has been hurt or betrayed. But that’s not how it works in practice.

Forgiveness

<ul><li> How do you forgive someone who isn’t all that sorry, or who you can’t actually engage with?</li><li>Forgiveness exists separately from reconciliation, and also from accountability — which is why forgiving someone doesn’t require an apology or even their participation. </li><li>Reconciliation is a negotiation strategy between two or more people trying to make their way back together to mutual trust.</li></ul>

Forgiving Someone Who Isn't Sorry

Forgiveness might be a step on the path to reconciliation, but you don’t have to traverse the full route if you’d prefer not to.While forgiveness is separate from accountability, it’s not at odds with seeking justice. Many people think it’s either/or, rather than both. Forgiving someone can help you take a more clear-eyed approach to justice because you’re no longer seething with rage.

Expand Your View of What Forgiveness Is

<ul><li>Forgiveness does not require you to pretend the hurt didn't happen.</li><li>Forgiveness doesn't have to exist anywhere outside of you.</li><li>You are the one who was wronged, so why do you have to now give them something?</li><li>Once you remove reconciliation as a goal, it's easier to see how forgiveness will benefit you as much as - if not more than - the other person.</li></ul>

Think of Forgiveness as Something You’re Doing Primarily for Yourself

Being willing to let go of the anger and hurt can be one of the hardest aspects of forgiving someone, especially someone who isn’t sorry or who hasn’t apologized. In these instances, it can sometimes feel like your wound is all you have: It serves as proof that an awful thing happened to you and really was as terrible as it felt. Forgiving someone, then, can feel like you’re capitulating — like you’re acquiescing to their view of events when you know in your heart they did something wrong.

Don’t Let Fear of “losing” Stand in The Way of Forgiving Someone

<ul><li>Hang on to anger for a short time because it shows you're a person of worth and dignity, and no one should treat you this way</li><li>Over time, it brings us down with fatigue, rumination, and becoming far more pessimistic in life.</li></ul>

Witness The Anger

The person who has been treated unfairly focuses on the effects of the injustice in their life. These effects might be things like monetary costs, lost time, ongoing anxiety, depression, anger, sleep problems, or a more pessimistic worldview. In a lot of instances, people don’t even realize how much the injustice is still impacting their life.In this stage, you’re also asked to think about what solutions you’ve already tried for these problems and the extent to which they’ve led to meaningful improvements or change.

The Uncovering Phase

Researchers have led to the development of a step-by-step process for forgiveness, which can happen in therapy (ideally with someone who is trained in forgiveness therapy), or through a self-guided process using a workbook.There are four major phases of forgiveness: uncovering, decision, work, discovery, and forgiveness.

There’s Real Work Involved in Forgiving, and It Takes Time

This is where you’ll determine whether you want to try to forgive the person who hurt you. And the answer might be no! Maybe it’s too soon and the pain is too fresh, or you just know you’re not ready to let go of the anger. That’s okay; this is a process you can always return to, and, eventually, you might find that you want to forgive.

The Decision Phase

At this point, you’ll aim to broaden your narrative about the other person and develop empathy for them. So you might think about how they were raised, what difficult things happened in their life that led them to this point, and the ways in which that person is vulnerable. You start telling that story to yourself, over and over, we see a little bit of empathy, a little tiny bit of compassion, a little bit of softening of the heart. That takes time, and definitely can’t be engineered through therapy; it has to emerge.

The Work Phase

<ul><li>One way to do this is to think of your pain on a scale of 1–10, and to visualize that amount of pain in a heavy sack that you are holding on your back. </li><li>Acknowledge that it’s there, be aware of it, and stay with it. </li><li>Don’t try to run away from it. Don’t try to take anything out of it. Just let it be. What we find is, that when people do that, that sack tends to shrink. </li><li>This part of the process can also help you rebuild self-esteem because it’s a reminder of what you’re capable of.</li></ul>

Work Phase: Standing In The Pain

This is when you’ll reflect on the meaning you’ve found in your life from this experience. What we tend to find a lot of times is people become much more attuned to the wounds within other people. You may realize that you’ve become more patient with strangers, or less judgmental of coworkers or friends because you have a newfound understanding of how they might also be struggling.Going through this might also have made you feel more connected to other people, as you realize you’re not alone in the injustice you suffered.

The Discovery Phase

Being ready to forgive someone who hurt you takes time, as does the work of forgiving them. It’s impossible to know when — or if — you’ll ever be ready. If now doesn’t seem to be the time, that’s okay. We’re in relationships with many people over the course of a whole lifetime. Things can shift in surprising and sometimes dramatic ways just with the passage of time.

The Act Of Forgiveness

Some people will never admit wrongdoing. It’s still possible for you to move forward.

How to forgive someone who isn’t sorry

Our voices matter as much as our words matter. They have the power to awaken the senses and lead others to act, close deals, or land us successful job interviews. 
Through our voices, we create nuances of meaning, convey our emotions, and find the secret to communicating our executive presence.

Our Voices

The key lies in harnessing our voices using the principles of vocalics. Vocalics primarily consists of three linguistic elements: stress (volume), intonation (rising and falling tone), and rhythm (pacing). By combining vocalics with public speaking skills, we can colour our words with the meaning and emotion that motivates others to act.

The Principles Of Vocalics

Crank up your volume: No, we don’t mean shout. The effective use of volume goes beyond trying to be the loudest person in the room. To direct the flow of any conversation, you must overtly stress what linguists call focus words. When you intentionally place volume on certain words, you emphasize parts of a message and shift the direction of a conversation toward your preferred outcome.

How to Harness Your Voice: Turn It up A Bit

Use a powerful speech style: The key to achieving a powerful speech style, particularly during job interviews and hiring decisions, is to first concentrate on the “melody” of your voice, also called intonation. This rise or fall of our voice conveys grammatical meaning (questions or statements) or even attitude (surprise, joy, sarcasm).To command more executive presence, combine this technique with increasing the volume of your voice on important focus words. These two elements will help you exude competence and authority.

The Melody Of Your Voice

Calibrate your vocal rhythm with the right melody: Our messages are perceived differently depending on the way we use rhythm in our voices. Deliberately varying our pacing with compelling pauses creates “voiced” punctuation, a powerful way to hold the pulse of the moment.We often imagine conversations to flow as smoothly and continuously as a river, but fluent speech is actually filled with intricate patterns of conscious starts and stops which linguists call <a href="https://digitalcommons.usu.edu/cgi/viewcontent.cgi?article=1045&context=honor_lectures">thought groups</a> or acoustical phrasing.

Pacing And Rhythm

The more definitive you are with speaking in chunked phrases, the more time others will have to process your ideas, and the more clarity you will achieve. Moreover, thought groups, when combined with the volume changes of focus words and the intonation of a powerful speaking style, have been shown to dramatically enhance vocal quality, even upping people’s chances of <a href="https://www.ceeol.com/search/article-detail?id=563521">getting hired</a>.

The Bottom Line

Don’t Underestimate the Power of Your Voice

On August 28, 1963, Martin Luther King Jr. delivered what is perhaps the most famous speech in American history. The speech, "I have a dream," was a pivotal moment in the Civil Rights Movement, and stands as the ideal of what public speaking should be.

The top American speech of the 20th century

<ul><li>The masterly use of repetition. King uses this technique throughout his speech. “One hundred years later…,” “now is the time…,” “we can never be satisfied…,” “I have a dream…” </li><li>The use of tone. Throughout his speech, his passion is so evident that it feels almost tangible. He evokes a strong, active, commanding voice, using such verbs as must, cannot, and can never.</li><li>Storytelling. When King begins with the phrase “I have a dream…” he is painting a picture. He is visualizing what life would be like for African Americans if the Civil Rights movement were won.</li></ul>

The hallmarks of every great speech

Martin Luther King's famous public speech is the epitome of how to deliver a great talk. Here is what we can learn from him.

motivationandinspiration

Motivation & Inspiration

Lessons From History: MLK Jr.'s I Have a Dream

As people, we develop our ideas by interacting with others, testing our thinking, and getting feedback. Discussing controversial topics with our family and peers helps us learn and grow. However, these conversations can reveal potentially relationship-ending opinions. Losing out on these conversations makes us more estranged and entrenched in our own ways of thinking. Some tips can help you to approach these conversations and keep discussions productive.

The necessity of engaging in difficult conversations

Before you start a conversation with someone, take a moment to consider how their life may have shaped their opinions. People's experiences and beliefs may change how people interact with scientific evidence. People don't trust science on certain topics because they don't yet know enough about it. The solution is to simply tell people the facts, remedying their knowledge deficit and increasing support for scientific ideas.

Consider the other person's background

You can shape a person's mind on a controversial topic with the "deep canvassing" technique. Deep canvassing uses a person's specific experiences to change their views on a topic. It is done by guiding them through nonjudgmental conversations about personal narratives related to the topic.

Use personal stories

This conversation strategy involves a variety of verbal and nonverbal cues, such as restating comments, asking questions, and showing your attention. In addition, don't be afraid to briefly pause a conversation that’s heating up to keep emotions under control. This will help both parties to be more objective in assessing one another's arguments.

Actively listen and acknowledge the views of the other person

How can you successfully understand someone else’s point of view, share yours, or even change someone’s mind?

Conversations on Polarizing Topics Are Possible. If You’re Up for It, Here’s How to Start - By Caitlyn Finton - Behavioral Scientist

If there’s one thing we avoid, it’s feeling bored. And worse is being boring to others. Boredom is the state of feeling unhappy or dissatisfied because of a lack of interest or having nothing to do.

Being perceived as boring

Studies found that boredom did have negative consequences, in that people became more negative towards outsiders because it makes them feel better about their own group, and is also associated with aggression. Feelings of boredom typically led to feelings of nostalgia, with people finding a sense of comfort or interest in reminiscing about the past. However, boredom has a psychological purpose. It pushes people to search for new things they would find meaningful or valuable, which is a positive outcome.

Then pros and cons of boredom

<ul><li>Volunteers in a study reported that the five most boring jobs were data analysis, accounting, tax/insurance, cleaning, and banking.</li><li>The most boring hobbies included sleeping, religion, watching TV, observing animals, and doing math.</li><li>Attributes that made a person stereotypically boring were having no interests, no sense of humour, no opinions, or complaining too much. </li><li>People who had stereotypically boring characteristics were more likely to be automatically perceived as incompetent and cold.</li></ul>

Stereotypical features that lead to a person being perceived as boring by others

He’s also come up with a list of jobs considered the most boring by people. Is yours on it?

How to Not Be Boring, According to a Psychologist Who Researches Boredom

Most successful consumer social products walk through a boneyard of failures before achieving victory. Before TikTok came Vine, before Tinder came Match.com, and before Instagram and Snap came Flickr. Each of these groups shared the similar high-level ideas of social video, dating, or social photos. But the boneyard often hid big ideas in plain sight. "There are very few genuinely new ideas," as Marc Andreessen "Invention happens over long periods of time, by lots of very smart people playing each others’ ideas against each other."

The Boneyard Principle

Why do some consumer social products finally make it big after a series of misses? It's the UX details — particularly, those that help people make fewer decisions and take fewer risks. The more opinionated an app is about how it should be used, the easier it is for users to act without fear of rejection. Products benefit from giving people the plausible deniability to say: “I’m not seeking attention, I’m just doing what this app tells me to do!”

UX Goal: Fewer decisions, fewer risks

Vine invented the short form video content but their UX was not as good. Setup: With Vine you had to go through 10 steps before u could begin. But as soon as you opened TikTok you saw entertaining videos—time to satisfaction was instant. You didn’t have to worry about making an account...Navigation: Vine had Home & Explore. In Explore you had “Editor’s Picks,” “Popular Now,” or “All Posts.” You could search or tap tags. As a new user, you wouldn’t know what each term meant. Decisions. Stress. In TikTok u didn't had to decide which tab to view—you just swipe to the next video.

TikTok vs Vine

What is the UX secret behind consumer products? Opinionated constraints. Do you think Deepstash could be more radical in its UX?

How subtle UX improvements can make a half-a-trillion dollar difference 

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Marketing & Sales

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Product & Design

The Boneyard Principle: Why the Next Big Thing will Emerge from a Failed Idea

We frequently prefer to suffer in silence or try to do everything alone rather than ask for help since it is so uncomfortable.Many people thought that asking for help even for a small task would reveal their weakness, but the thoughts are not always accurate. So keep in mind the following points while you are asking for HELP..

How to ask for help..

It can provide you with much-needed practical and emotional support while also protecting you from burnout.

1.Asking for help can be uncomfortable, but it’s a Vital skill

Self-criticism, fears about how others will see you, and other ideas and thoughts might deter people from seeking treatment, although they aren't always reasonable or truthful.

2.Check your assumptions about asking for help.

There are advantages and disadvantages to asking for help, but the long-term rewards frequently surpass any short-term expenses. Bh

3.Make a decision to ask for help.

Consider who has the skills, abilities, or information to effectively assist you – and who is likely to respond positively to the request.

4.Choose whom to ask.

Give someone time to consider your request for assistance if at all possible, and avoid asking when they are agitated or upset.

5.Consider the best time to ask.

As you ask for help, pay attention to any feelings of fear, anxiety, or humiliation that occur. Make a list of your feelings, muster your bravery, and ask anyhow.

6.Ask in the face of discomfort.

Be open, direct and respectful: eg, ‘I’ve been struggling with ____. Would you be willing to ____?’.

7.Use assertive communication skills.

Make your request as simple and specific as possible. If you're not sure what kind of assistance you require, see if you can discuss it together.

8.Be as clear as possible about what you need.

Don't assume the worst when it comes to why someone has turned you down. Obtaining assistance frequently necessitates contacting a number of people.

9.If the request is denied, consider other options.

It’s not always easy to ask for help but, fortunately, it is a skill that can be improved.

You’re not weak or lazy – everyone needs support. Follow these steps to learn when to reach out, who to go to and what to say

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Health

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Problem Solving

How to ask for help | Psyche Guides

They say nothing lasts forever but they're just scared it will last longer than they can love it.

This <a href="https://www.businessinsider.com/reviews/out?asin=0525562028&platform=browser&postSource=bi%7C61df3ee60f84c037849ebf70&postTag=biauto-51405-20&sc=false&type=AMAZON-AFFILIATE-LINK&u=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.amazon.com%2Fdp%2F0525562028%3Ftag%3Dbiauto-51405-20&sessionid=1650467903186as9wlwa8&tag=bisafetynet2-20">stunning and poetic novel</a> is a letter from a son to his mother, who cannot read. Little Dog is in his 20s, exploring and speaking frankly about sexuality, masculinity, grief, and race as he unravels his family's history rooted in Vietnam, leading to an unforgettable conclusion in this powerful novel about humanity and language.

"On Earth We're Briefly Gorgeous " by Ocean Vuong

It's the possibility of having a dream come true that makes life interesting.

For readers looking for a new inspirational read or wondering where some of the greatest lines originated from, here are some of the best literary quotes and the books they came from.

We rounded up some of the most famous and inspirational book quotes — as well as the classic and contemporary books they're from.

The 22 best book quotes & the books they come from

Find 100+ Facts About Communication  - Curated from inspiring sources like Books, Podcasts & Articles - Genuine Insights from like-minded Users like You!