Effective communication is like engine oil for life, yet it's rarely taught in schools and hard to learn from media.Lacking these skills hampers personal relationships, client negotiations, and conflict resolution.To improve, adopt the "Reflect, Question, Improve" method: <ul><li>Daily ask how you can communicate better, not what you did wrong.</li><li> Spend a few minutes each day on this to enhance your skills. </li><li>Recall the frustration of miscommunications to motivate continuous improvement in your communication style.</li></ul><a href="https://elevatedpath.beehiiv.com/subscribe">The Art of Habits</a> (It's free)

1. Communication Skills

We all perceive reality differently due to unique experiences, beliefs, and values. Effective communication requires <ul><li>Understanding these varied perspectives instead of arguing over who is right.</li><li> By empathizing with others' viewpoints, you can build deeper relationships and </li><li>Resolve conflicts.</li></ul> Use the "Understand, Empathize, Find Middle Ground" approach in each interaction. Remember, the meaning you give to others' words shapes your response. Strive for mutual understanding to enhance communication and foster better relationships.

2. Improve your perception of reality

Effective communication avoids common mistakes like focusing on negatives and unclear messaging.Follow these eight rules:<ol><li>Make everything you say possible to realize</li><li>Precisely formulate what you say</li><li>Positively formulate what you say</li><li>Remember always to take responsibility for yourself</li><li>Describe measurable facts instead of trying to read minds</li><li>Always describe your feelings without attacking and offending your interlocutor</li><li>Say directly what you want to communicate</li><li>Say directly what you want to communicate</li></ol>Regularly evaluate your conversations using these rules to reduce misunderstandings

3. The Eight Most Important Communication Rules

Anger often leads to conflicts, and blaming others doesn't solve the problem.It can make people feel hopeless or defensive, hindering any positive change.Think about the last time you felt angry and accused someone.Did it lead to resolution or just more frustration? Accusations often escalate conflicts, leaving everyone involved feeling worse and nothing getting resolved.<a href="https://elevatedpath.beehiiv.com/subscribe">The Art of Habits</a> (It's free)

4. How to Express Anger and Avoid Conflicts

To express anger constructively and avoid conflicts, follow these steps:<ul><li>Take a Pause: Stop and breathe. Set aside accusations.</li><li>Be Aware of Your Thoughts: Reflect on what judgment or belief is causing your anger.</li><li>Understand Your Needs: Identify what you are missing that’s causing this emotion.</li></ul>Express Your Needs: Communicate your feelings without judging the other person.By following these steps, you can transform anger into constructive dialogue, leading to better understanding and stronger relationships.

5. Solutions to Express Anger and Avoid Conflicts

Several obstacles may hinder us from becoming effective communicators.Being aware of these obstacles is the first step to avoiding them.Once we learn how to overcome these obstacles, we’ll surely see a huge improvement in our social and professional lives. <ul><li>Playing a judge</li><li>Feeling the need to finish sentences for others</li><li>Being the uncle of good advice</li><li>Being a moralizer</li><li>Being “the talker”</li><li>Impolitely dealing with people who don’t let you speak</li><li>Saying the wrong comforting words</li><li>Losing focus</li></ul>In addition to overcoming obstacles, smiling more often is another effective way to enhance our communication skills.

6. The Most Common Communication Obstacles

You believe you’re the only one with the right to be right, so you tend to criticize people for not thinking or acting the way you want or expect them to be.

i) Don't Play A Judge

You keep giving unwanted advice, thinking it would help people solve their problems.In actuality, it just makes them feel uncomfortable.

ii) Don’t be the uncle of good advice

You often interrupt and finish people's sentences without being told to,which can frustrate people and damage relationships.

iii) Don’t finish sentences for others

You often give irritating comments to the people you’re conversing with, like saying, “How can you listen to this kind of nasty music?”An example of a moralizer is, “Good and honest men do not act that way!” It is the most irritating and the least effective method of communication.

iv) Don’t be a moralizer

You are very open to people, making you talk to them excessively even when it’s unnecessary.This can annoy people and ruin early relationships.Excessive talking from your side can be discouraging in the early stages of relationships.

v) Don’t be “the talker

We're quickly offended when others don't let us talk.Wrongfully dealing with this can lead to conflicts.Instead, we should learn how to interrupt them when we want to say something politely.Polite interruption is when you interrupt and repeat the last sentence of the speaker (showing that you are interested in what they just said).For example, “So, you’re telling me these new planes can fly really high, right?”

vi) Politely interrupt when someone doesn’t let you speak

While comforting someone is a good thing, it can make people feel bad if we do it wrongfully.Saying phrases like “Don’t worry” or ”It’s not that bad” can discourage them from overcoming and dealing with their problems.First, acknowledge what this person is feeling and why; e.g., “Really?! That’s a horrible thing to have to go through!”Next, instead of using clichéd phrases, say something like, “Know that you can count on me if it ever happens to you again.”

vii) Avoid using cliché phrases when comforting others

The tendency to be distracted while listening to others can make us miss valuable information from the people we converse with. Failing to address this problem can lead to misunderstandings and damaged relationships.You make an impression of a trustworthy and understanding person, and, thereby, you build deeper relationships with others.

viii)

This is actually the main factor in unsuccessful conversations.

ix) Don’t interrupt when someone is talking

Aside from overcoming these obstacles, another beneficial way to improve our communication skills is by smiling more often. Our brains will function much better when we do, and other people will see us as more sociable and friendly. What's more, we will also improve our humor and feel much better in the process.

x) Smile More Often

“You need to know that listening builds trust. The more you listen to another person, the more they trust and believe in you.”There are several conversation fixes we need to apply to improve our conversation skills a lot. When applied correctly, these fixes can build our self-esteem, empathy with others, trust, and self-discipline. The last fix will help us with difficult questions and not very honest conversation partners.<ul><li>Stop for a moment</li><li>Ask for clarification</li><li>Paraphrase</li><li>Listen more, talk less</li><li>Use the three-second look</li></ul>

When we pause for a moment before responding to a conversation, we avoid interrupting the person who might just be taking a breath before continuing. We show them we’re listening carefully and considering what they’ve said.Taking a short pause (2–5 seconds) after a person stops talking is a very smart and savvy thing to do.

i) Stop for a moment

Instead of assuming you understand, ask questions to clarify. This helps you grasp their messages well and keeps the conversation going as they elaborate their responses more.Never assume that you fully understand what the other person is saying.

ii) Ask for clarification

By paraphrasing the words of the person you’re conversing with, you show that you are attentive to the conversation and make every effort to understand their message.You can nod and smile, then repeat it in your own words.

iii) Paraphrase

Listening is the foundation of trust; the more you listen to others, the more they trust you. Besides, it will also make people feel valued and respected. When we listen to others, we also increase our focus.The more you listen to another person, the more they trust and believe in you.

iv) Listen more, talk less

When you feel like someone is lying to you, wait for them to stop talking and look them directly into their eyes for three seconds quietly, pressuring them to tell you the truth. You can also do this when you don’t want to answer somebody’s question to you.

v) Use the three-second look

Wherever we go, there will always be people we find difficult to deal with.In these cases, it’s crucial that we know how to deal with them professionally, like the great communicator you want to be. <ul><li class="ql-align-justify">Avoid trying to change difficult people</li><li class="ql-align-justify">Set your boundaries</li><li class="ql-align-justify">Find your tone of power</li><li class="ql-align-justify">Remember different mental maps and positive intentions behind every behavior</li><li class="ql-align-justify">Make your verbal messages brief and concise</li><li class="ql-align-justify">Focus on behavior, not people</li><li class="ql-align-justify">Focus on the most crucial things</li><li class="ql-align-justify">Use suggestions</li><li class="ql-align-justify">Maintain strong body language</li></ul>

“Dealing with difficult people is extremely important, especially in the corporate world or any other kind of professional life. It’s most important not only in everyday life but when you can’t afford to simply ignore them.”

When dealing with these people is never to try to change them. Aside from it being impossible, it’s not also our job to transform them. Instead, learn to point out the annoying behavioral patterns of a person to help them improve. It’s a little bit like an amateur trying to dismantle a bomb: ineffective and careless.

i) Avoid trying to change difficult people.

We should learn to set boundaries by not tolerating people disrespecting us, especially in public situations. Instead, teach them how to treat you well and never settle for anything less. Don’t tolerate shouting and pathological arguments in public situations or other forms of disrespect.

ii) Set your boundaries

Look down at his eyes and go, "Mm-hmm." This sound should be resonating, strong, and firm. When you vocalize it, you need to speak in a slow and steady tone.

iii) Find your tone of power

we must understand that we all have different mental maps and positive intentions behind our every behavior. So if we disagree with someone’s viewpoint, we must respect it and realize they have their own reasons. We must learn to listen to them and be empathetic to their situation. Even though you don’t agree with someone’s viewpoint, you need to realize that there must be some reason behind their annoying actions.

iv) Remember different mental maps and positive intentions

Avoid talking too much about what you don’t like in their conversation style.

v)Make your verbal messages brief and concise

Instead of saying things like, “Michael, you are a liar!” say, “Michael, we both know that what’s been said is far from reality.”We need to avoid talking too much and only focus on the behaviors of the difficult people we encounter. This is the best way to help them improve. Aside from this, we can also use suggestions to show interest in the opinion of the people that we find challenging to deal with. When we let them express their thoughts, much tension is released.

vi) Focus on behavior, not people

We must maintain strong body language to show them we’re sending a firm message.Keep your head straight - don't tilt it. Maintain eye contact and remove any physical things that stand between you and the person you're communicating with.

vii) Maintain strong body language

Some phrases we usually use may negatively impact our conversation with others; thus, it’s better to remove them completely from our dictionary.Replace offensive phrases with the ones that evoke a positive response<ul><li>Replace “We need to talk.” with “I need your help.”</li><li>Replace “What’s wrong with you?” with “What’s bothering you?”</li><li>Replace “You said ...” or “But you just said ….” with “I heard/I understood ….”</li><li>Replace “That doesn’t make any sense.” with “I don’t understand what you mean by saying ….”</li></ul>

9. Phrases to Purge From Your Dictionary

Giving feedback to people is essential to helping them improve their performance in a specific task. However, wrongfully delivering it might aggravate and frustrate a person, preventing them from taking your advice seriously. Therefore, we need to be careful and learn how to properly provide feedback to people so that they will feel good and motivated to improve.

10. The Subtle Art of Giving Feedback

The sandwich feedback is the best way to do this as it will allow us to motivate people to improve positively. This consists of three steps:1. Say something positiveFor example, “Congrats on your first try!” It’s good to tell two or three things that they did well. 2. Say what the person can improveDon’t say what was wrong, but rather focus on positive changes and growth. 3. End with positive emotionYou can say something like, “Well, as I said, generally, you did great!"

The sandwich feedback

Small talk is usually boring.When you talk to another person, you want to make an impact. You want to be memorable, not just another boring person. If your conversations are not as good as you would like them to be, there are several methods you can use to lead conversation like a master. These methods include :<ul><li>Use a very strong conversation starter</li><li>Tell stories and use metaphors</li><li>Discover your interlocutor’s beliefs and values</li><li>Use your voice like a master</li><li>Ask penetrating questions about the topic</li><li>Ask unique questions</li><li>Finish the conversation when there is still some curiosity</li><li>Remember a person’s name</li></ul>

Use something that is emotional and will give direction for the conversation; for example, "Dude, yesterday something absolutely amazing happened to me."

i) Use a very strong conversation starter.

An accurate story or metaphor is like a skeleton key to the other person's mind.

ii) Tell stories and use metaphors

Everyone likes to talk about the important things in their lives.

iii) Discover your interlocutor’s beliefs and values

You need to modulate your voice and make it engaging. Sometimes speak loudly, then go quieter. Sometimes speak slowly, sometimes more v.

iv) Use your voice like a master

Listen carefully and actively to what they are saying when the other person is responding—they will feel your involvement.

v) Ask penetrating questions about the topic

Ask questions that will make your interlocutor think and stimulate the imagination. For example, "What do you want your life to look like three years from now?"

vi) Ask unique questions

Finish the conversation when there is still some hunger, curiosity, or any other good emotion.This feeling should remain in their interlocutor’s memory for some time after you finish your conversation.

vii) Finish the conversation when there is still some Curiosity

Before you start a conversation with someone, know their name first. Then, keep mentioning it in the conversation by repeatedly calling them by their name. This will help you remember their name faster.

viii) Remember a person’s name

“The truth is, we like people who are similar to us, enabling us to trust them the most.”Building rapport is an art. You may be both very similar to each other, and then the rapport will be there naturally. However, in most cases, you will have to build it if you want to get benefits from it. And the benefits are huge: building rapport is like making the other person like you. If they do, you can lead the conversation to any point you want.

● Change your body language so that it is similar to your interlocutor’sIt cannot be an exact copy of the other person, but it should be close enough to feel the connection. ● Change your voice to match the voice of the other personThis includes the speech rate, gaps in speech, and tone of your voice. ● Try to match emotionsWhen the other person is not in a good emotional state, show your sympathy. ● Match breathingHow can you see the other person's breath? Follow the movement of their nose, chest, or arms. ● Share similar experiences.Find a story or situation from your life to relate with them

Tips To Build Rapport

The ability to act in front of a bigger group of people is one of the most desired skills among people interested in self-development<ul><li>Prepare the material, but do not memorize it</li></ul>Outline everything you need to say and highlight the most important points before your presentation<ul><li>Get rid of stage fright</li><li>If possible, come to the place of your presentation much earlier</li><li>Clear your mind before getting on stage</li><li>Take care of your posture</li><li>Remember facial expressions</li><li>Modulate your voice</li><li>Look people in the eyes</li></ul>

13. Ways to Have a Great Public Presentation

A practical Guide to improving your Social Inteligence, Presentation, Persuasion and Public Speaking 

Do You Know How To Communicate With People Effectively, Avoid Conflicts and Get What You Want From Life? ...It's mostly about what you say, but also about WHEN, WHY and HOW you say it. **MY GIFT TO YOU INSIDE: Link to download my 120-page e-book "Mindfulness Based Stress and Anxiety Management Tools" for free!** Do The Things You Usually Say Help You, Or Maybe Hold You Back? Dear Friends, Have you ever considered how many times you intuitively felt that maybe you lost something important or crucial, simply because you unwittingly said or did something which put somebody off? Maybe it was an unfortunate word, bad formulation, inappropriate joke, forgotten name, huge misinterpretation, an awkward conversation or a strange tone of your voice? Maybe you assumed that you knew exactly what a particular concept meant for another person and you stopped asking questions? Maybe you asked so many questions, you practically started an interrogation? Maybe you could not listen carefully or could not stay silent for a moment? How many times have you wanted to achieve something, negotiate better terms or ask for a promotion and failed miserably? It's time to put that to an end with the help of this book. Lack of communication skills is exactly what ruins most peoples' lives. If you don't know how to communicate properly, you are going to have problems both in your intimate and family relationships. You are going to be ineffective in work and business situations. It's going to be troublesome managing employees or getting what you want from your boss or your clients on a daily basis. Overall, effective communication is like an engine oil that makes your life run smoothly, getting you wherever you want to be. There are very few areas in life in which you can succeed in the long run without this crucial skill. What Will You Learn With This Book? -What Are The Most Common Communication Obstacles Between People And How To Avoid Them -How To Express Anger And Avoid Conflicts -What Are The Most 8 Important Questions You Should Ask Yourself If You Want To Be An Effective Communicator? -5 Most Basic and Crucial Conversational Fixes -How To Deal With Difficult and Toxic People -Phrases to Purge from Your Dictionary (And What to Substitute Them With) -The Subtle Art of Giving and Receiving Feedback -Rapport, the Art of Excellent Communication -How to Use Metaphors to Communicate Better And Connect With People -What Metaprograms and Meta Models Are and How Exactly To Make Use of Them To Become A Polished Communicator -How To Read Faces and How to Effectively Predict Future Behaviors -How to Finally Start Remembering Names -How to Have a Great Public Presentation -How To Create Your Own Unique Personality in Business (and Everyday Life) -Effective Networking Start improving your life today.

Understand yourself and those around you.

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Psychology

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Personal Development

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Communication

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Books

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Leadership & Management

Ian Tuhovsky is an accomplished writer whose work has resonated with readers around the world. Ian Tuhovsky has published several books that explore a range of topics, from fiction to nonfiction, and has received critical acclaim for the ability to weave compelling narratives. Ian Tuhovsky's writing style is known for its depth and authenticity, and has earned quite a loyal following of readers.

Ian Tuhovsky

Communication Skills

Find the waves of change and position yourself in front of them. Successful companies don’t just ride trends; they anticipate them and position themselves to catch the momentum early. It requires a keen sense of market dynamics and an ability to recognize the underlying shifts in technology, consumer behavior, or industry practices. By understanding and leveraging these changes, you can create a significant competitive advantage and drive sustainable growth.

Growth is more about process and less about tactics. While tactics can provide short-term boosts, sustainable growth comes from a well-defined process that allows for continuous improvement. This process involves understanding your users deeply, running experiments to test hypotheses, and systematically optimizing every aspect of the user journey. It’s about building a growth engine that can adapt and scale over time

Network effects are the holy grail of growth. They occur when the value of a product increases as more people use it, creating a self-reinforcing cycle of growth. Companies that successfully leverage network effects can achieve exponential growth and build defensible market positions. The challenge lies in identifying and nurturing these effects within your product and ensuring they are strong enough to drive sustained user acquisition and retention.

Strategy is about saying no to good ideas. It’s easy to get distracted by the multitude of opportunities and ideas that come your way. Effective strategy involves making tough choices and focusing on the few things that truly matter. By prioritizing ruthlessly and aligning your efforts with your core mission and goals, you can avoid dilution of resources and achieve greater impact with your initiatives.

The best product managers align product strategy with company vision. They understand that every product decision should contribute to the broader objectives of the company. This requires a deep understanding of the market, the needs of users, and the competitive landscape. By aligning the product strategy with the overall vision, product managers can ensure that their work drives meaningful progress towards the company’s long-term goals.

Great product managers don’t just build what’s asked; they build what’s needed. They dig deeper to understand the underlying problems and opportunities, rather than simply executing on feature requests. This involves active listening, critical thinking, and a willingness to challenge assumptions. By focusing on the root causes and the real needs of users, product managers can create solutions that deliver greater value and drive lasting success.

Marketing is about human psychology, not just algorithms. While data and algorithms are important tools, the core of effective marketing lies in understanding human behavior and motivations. Great marketers tap into the emotions, desires, and pain points of their audience to craft compelling messages and experiences. By connecting on a deeper level with consumers, they can build stronger brand loyalty and drive more impactful results.

Product-led growth is about delivering value before extracting value. It flips the traditional sales model by putting the product at the forefront of the customer acquisition process. By offering a compelling product experience upfront, companies can build trust and demonstrate value, making it easier to convert users into paying customers. This approach aligns the interests of the company and the users, fostering long-term relationships and sustainable growth.

Focus on what will not change in the next ten years. While it’s important to be aware of trends and innovations, the key to building lasting value is to anchor your strategy on fundamental principles that remain constant. Understanding the core needs and desires of your customers, and building your products and services around these enduring truths, ensures that your efforts remain relevant and impactful over the long term

Empowered teams are the key to successful products. When teams are given the autonomy, resources, and support they need to solve problems creatively, they are more engaged and productive. Empowered teams take ownership of their work, innovate more effectively, and are more likely to produce products that delight users. This requires a shift from top-down management to a more collaborative and trust-based approach.

The best product decisions are made with a balance of data and intuition. While data provides valuable insights, it’s not the whole story. Experienced product leaders use their intuition and judgment, honed by years of experience, to interpret data and make decisions that data alone might not suggest. This balance allows for more nuanced and effective product strategies that can adapt to the complexities of real-world markets.

Creativity is a muscle that gets stronger with use. Just like physical exercise, the more you engage in creative activities, the more your creative capacity grows. This means regularly challenging yourself, experimenting with new ideas, and pushing the boundaries of your comfort zone. By making creativity a daily practice, you can develop a stronger, more flexible, and more productive creative mindset.

Positioning is the difference between your product being noticed or ignored. It’s about defining your product’s place in the market and communicating its unique value in a way that resonates with your target audience. Effective positioning requires a deep understanding of your market, your competitors, and your customers. By clearly articulating why your product matters and what sets it apart, you can capture attention and drive demand.

The best way to predict the future is to create it. Instead of trying to anticipate changes and react to them, focus on shaping the future through innovation and bold vision. By proactively addressing the needs and challenges of your market, you can set the agenda and drive the evolution of your industry. This requires a combination of foresight, creativity, and execution to bring new ideas to life and lead the way forward.

Scaling is about building the right processes at the right time. As companies grow, they need to develop scalable processes that maintain efficiency and quality. This involves identifying the key operations that drive success, standardizing best practices, and continuously refining these processes to handle increasing complexity. Effective scaling ensures that growth is sustainable and that the organization can continue to deliver value at larger scales.

Design with empathy to build products people love. Empathy allows designers to truly understand and connect with the needs and experiences of their users. By putting themselves in the users’ shoes, designers can create solutions that are not only functional but also emotionally resonant. This leads to products that are intuitive, enjoyable, and impactful, fostering deeper user engagement and satisfaction.

The secret to product success is understanding the problem deeply. A deep understanding of the problem allows you to create more effective and innovative solutions. This means going beyond surface-level symptoms to uncover the root causes and the broader context. By immersing yourself in the user’s world, gathering diverse perspectives, and rigorously analyzing the problem, you can develop products that truly meet the needs and exceed the expectations of your users.

Growth is a system, not a silver bullet. It’s about building a repeatable process that allows you to continuously find and capitalize on opportunities. You need to align your entire team around growth, create a culture of experimentation, and constantly iterate. It’s not just about a few hacks or tactics; it’s about developing a deep understanding of your users and finding scalable ways to reach and retain them.

Great design is not just what it looks like, but how it works and feels. It’s about solving problems in a way that meets the needs of users while also delighting them. Design should be intuitive, making the user’s journey seamless and enjoyable. A good designer puts themselves in the shoes of the user, anticipates their needs, and crafts solutions that are not only functional but also emotionally engaging.

Startups are not about ideas; they are about execution. The most brilliant idea in the world is worthless without the right team to bring it to life. Execution means turning a vision into reality through relentless focus, adaptability, and perseverance. It’s about building a product that users love, scaling operations efficiently, and continuously iterating based on feedback and market dynamics.

Dive into the wisdom of Lenny's Podcast with 20 influential insights from top guests on growth, design, strategy, and more.

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Marketing & Sales

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Startups

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Podcasts

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Product & Design

20 Powerful Growth Insights from Lenny's Podcast: Wisdom from Top Industry Leaders

“To maintain respect, don’t be greatly loved. You should be neither greatly feared nor greatly loved. Love leads to familiarity, and when this makes its appearance, esteem departs. Be loved with appreciation rather than affection, for such love is a mark of great people.”

“A decision openly declared is never respected; instead, it opens the way to criticism, and if things turn out badly, you’ll be unhappy twice over.”

“A person without knowledge is a world in darkness. Judgement and strength, eyes and hands; without courage, wisdom is sterile.”

“Make people depend on you . An image is made sacred not by its creator but by its worshipper.”

“Princes like to be helped, but not surpassed. Advice should be offered as if a reminder of what they’ve forgotten, not an insight that they’ve never had.”

“Have intelligent support . The good fortune of the powerful: to be accompanied by outstanding minds that can save them from tight spots caused by their own ignorance and fight difficult battles for them.”

“There’ s much to know and life is short, and a life without knowledge is not a life. It’s a singular skill effortlessly to learn much from many, gaining knowledge from all.”

“Sharp players never move the piece their opponents are expecting, and especially not the one they want them to.”

“Know how to leave things to one side , for if knowing how to refuse is one of life’ s great lessons, an even greater one is knowing how to say no to yourself, to important people, and in business.”

“Think with the few and speak with the many”

“They can avoid the most difficult confrontation with a smile: the courage of the greatest of the great captains was based on this. A polite tactic in refusing is to change the subject, and there’ s no greater act of caution than to conceal that you have understood.”

“Truth is normally seen and rarely heard”

“Understand yourself : your temperament, intellect, opinions, emotions. You can’t be master of yourself if you don’t first understand yourself. There are mirrors for the face, but none for the spirit: let discreet self-reflection be yours.”

“Performing a service for another works like a charm, and the best way to win friends is to do people favours.”

“The most self-sufficient person must leave a door open to friendship, from where all help will come. You need a friend of sufficient influence over you to be able to advise and admonish you freely.”

“Anything popular, do yourself; anything unpopular, use others to do it .”

“A person has everything who cares nothing about what matters little. There’s no greater absurdity than taking everything seriously. Similarly, it’s stupid to take things to heart that don’t concern you, and not to take to heart those that are important.”

“Undertake what’s easy as if it were hard, and what’s hard as if it were easy . In the first case, so that confidence doesn’ t make you careless; in the second, so that lack of confidence doesn’t make you discouraged.”

“There are others whose first word on every occasion is ‘no’; with these people, you need real skill. And with everyone, the right moment: catch them when they’re in good spirits, when their bodies or their minds are satisfied. Unless the listener’s careful attention detects the petitioner’s subtlety, then happy days are the days when favours are granted, for inner happiness streams outwards.”

“A gift given afterwards is due payment; the same beforehand becomes an obligation. This is a subtle way of transforming obligations, for what was for the superior an obligation to reward becomes for the recipient an obligation to repay.”

“There’ s nothing easier than deceiving a good person. The person who never lies is more ready to believe, and one who never deceives is more trusting.”

“Leave people hungry : nectar should only ever brush the lips. Desire is the measure of esteem. Even with physical thirst, good taste’ s trick is to stimulate it, not quench it. Hard-won happiness is twice as enjoyable.”

Baltasar Gracián(1601-1658), was a Spanish Jesuit and Baroque prose writer and philosopher.

'Better mad with the crowd than sane all alone' In these witty, Machiavellian aphorisms, unlikely Spanish priest Baltasar Gracián shows us how to exploit friends and enemies alike to thrive in a world of deception and illusion. Introducing Little Black Classics: 80 books for Penguin's 80th birthday. Little Black Classics celebrate the huge range and diversity of Penguin Classics, with books from around the world and across many centuries. They take us from a balloon ride over Victorian London to a garden of blossom in Japan, from Tierra del Fuego to 16th-century California and the Russian steppe. Here are stories lyrical and savage; poems epic and intimate; essays satirical and inspirational; and ideas that have shaped the lives of millions. Baltasar Gracián (1601-1658). Gracián's work is available in Penguin Classics in The Pocket Oracle and Art of Prudence.

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History

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Strategy

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Problem Solving

Baltasar Gracián

How to Use Your Enemies

<ol><li class="ql-align-justify">Blind Luck</li><li class="ql-align-justify">Fortune Favors the Bold</li><li class="ql-align-justify">Luck Favors the Prepared Mind</li><li class="ql-align-justify">Luck Finds You Because of Your Reputation</li></ol>

Four Levels of Luck

<ul><li class="ql-align-justify">Luck that occurs without any effort or action on your part.</li><li class="ql-align-justify">This type of luck is unpredictable and not in your control.</li><li class="ql-align-justify">Example: being born healthy or winning a raffle.</li></ul>

Level-1: Blind Luck

<ul><li class="ql-align-justify">Increasing the odds of luck by taking action and being proactive.</li><li class="ql-align-justify">Engaging in various activities such as networking, conferences, etc. to create more opportunities for lucky encounters.</li><li class="ql-align-justify">Example: A person who volunteers at a community event might meet someone who later offers them a job or business opportunity.</li></ul>

Level-2: Fortune Favors the Bold

<ul><li class="ql-align-justify">Recognizing lucky opportunities due to years of preparation and experience.</li><li class="ql-align-justify">Having the ability to notice and seize lucky moments that others might overlook. In fields like investing or science and technology, years of preparation and gained experience that enhances the likelihood of identifying unique and beneficial opportunities.</li><li class="ql-align-justify">Example: Steve Jobs' extensive experience in technology and design allowed him to recognize the potential of integrating a phone, an iPod, and an internet communicator into one device.</li></ul>

Level-3: Luck Favors the Prepared Mind

<ul><li class="ql-align-justify">Your established reputation attracts fortunate circumstances.</li><li class="ql-align-justify">Being well-known in a specific field can lead to opportunities coming to you.</li><li class="ql-align-justify">Example: A lawyer known for her expertise in corporate law and her successful track record, is approached by a major corporation to handle a high-profile merger, without her having to seek out the opportunity.</li></ul>

Level-4: Luck Finds You Because of Your Reputation

<ol><li class="ql-align-justify">Mediocrity Risk</li><li class="ql-align-justify">Safety Risk</li><li class="ql-align-justify">Eyes Wide Shut Risk </li><li class="ql-align-justify">Market and Technical Risks</li></ol>

Four Flavors of Risk

<ul><li class="ql-align-justify">The danger of settling for average performance or outcomes, which can lead to stagnation and missed opportunities.</li><li class="ql-align-justify">Choosing paths that are "just okay" can waste valuable time and deprive individuals of achieving greatness.</li><li class="ql-align-justify">Example: Staying in the same mediocre job, even though you feel uninspired.</li><li class="ql-align-justify">Mitigation: Set goals that drive motivation, embrace challenges, and reevaluate progress periodically.</li></ul>

Flavor-1: Mediocrity Risk

<ul><li class="ql-align-justify">Risk of not taking enough risk - playing it too safe.</li><li class="ql-align-justify">Example: Investing in low-risk, low-return financial products due to fear of market volatility.</li><li class="ql-align-justify">Mitigation: Balance safety (being in your comfort zone) with calculated risks, for long-term personal and professional development.</li></ul>

Flavor-2: Safety Risk

<ul><li class="ql-align-justify">Ignoring or being unaware of significant threats or underlying risks, often due to complacency or lack of awareness.</li><li class="ql-align-justify">Example: Businesses that do not monitor market trends and consumer preferences may miss out on emerging opportunities.</li><li class="ql-align-justify">Mitigation: Periodically reassess your beliefs and assumptions, follow data-driven decision making, and encourage transparency in communication.</li></ul>

Flavor-3: Eyes Wide Shut Risk

<ul><li class="ql-align-justify">Uncertainties in market conditions and technological advancements.</li><li class="ql-align-justify">Example: A luxury car manufacturer faces declining sales during a global economic recession as consumers cut back on high-end purchases.</li><li class="ql-align-justify">Mitigation:  Spread risk through diversification, develop strategies that are flexible to adapt to market changes.</li></ul>

Flavor-4: Market and Technical Risks

Episode #380: Shaan Puri (@shaanvp) talks about the different kinds of luck, how to put yourself in a position to be lucky, and how to mitigate different kinds of risk.To submit your question and hear yourself on My First Million, go to MFMPod.com and click on the circle with the microphone in the lower right hand corner.-----Links:* Do you love MFM and want to see Sam and Shaan's smiling faces? Subscribe to our Youtube channel.* Want more insights like MFM? Check out Shaan's newsletter.-----Past guests on My First Million include Rob Dyrdek, Hasan Minhaj, Balaji Srinivasan, Jake Paul, Dr. Andrew Huberman, Gary Vee, Lance Armstrong, Sophia Amoruso, Ariel Helwani, Ramit Sethi, Stanley Druckenmiller, Peter Diamandis, Dharmesh Shah, Brian Halligan, Marc Lore, Jason Calacanis, Andrew Wilkinson, Julian Shapiro, Kat Cole, Codie Sanchez, Nader Al-Naji, Steph Smith, Trung Phan, Nick Huber, Anthony Pompliano, Ben Askren, Ramon Van Meer, Brianne Kimmel, Andrew Gazdecki, Scott Belsky, Moiz Ali, Dan Held, Elaine Zelby, Michael Saylor, Ryan Begelman, Jack Butcher, Reed Duchscher, Tai Lopez, Harley Finkelstein, Alexa von Tobel, Noah Kagan, Nick Bare, Greg Isenberg, James Altucher, Randy Hetrick and more.-----Additional episodes you might enjoy:• #224 Rob Dyrdek - How Tracking Every Second of His Life Took Rob Drydek from 0 to $405M in Exits• #209 Gary Vaynerchuk - Why NFTS Are the Future• #178 Balaji Srinivasan - Balaji on How to Fix the Media, Cloud Cities & Crypto* #169 - How One Man Started 5, Billion Dollar Companies, Dan Gilbert's Empire, & Talking With Warren Buffett• ​​​​#218 - Why You Should Take a Think Week Like Bill Gates• Dave Portnoy vs The World, Extreme Body Monitoring, The Future of Apparel Retail, "How Much is Anthony Pompliano Worth?", and More• How Mr Beast Got 100M Views in Less Than 4 Days, The $25M Chrome Extension, and More

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Business

Sam Parr and Shaan Puri brainstorm new business ideas based on trends & opportunities they see in the market. Sometimes they bring on famous guests to brainstorm with them.

My First Million

Framework Friday: The Secret to Being Lucky

Always act with honesty and transparency. Make decisions based on ethical principles and lead by example. Build trust with your team by being consistent and reliable.

1. Integrity.

Clearly articulate your vision, goals, and expectations. Encourage open dialogue and active listening. Provide regular feedback and foster an environment where team members feel heard and valued.

2. Communication

Show genuine concern for the well-being of your team members. Understand their perspectives and needs. Offer support during challenges and recognize their achievements.

3. Empathy

Make informed decisions promptly, even in uncertain situations. Weigh the pros and cons, consult with experts when necessary, and commit to a course of action. Stand by your decisions and take responsibility for the outcomes.

4. Decisiveness

Be open to change and willing to adjust strategies as needed. Stay flexible in your approach and encourage innovation. Lead your team through transitions with a positive attitude and a focus on solutions.

5. Adaptability

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Communication Skills

20 Powerful Growth Insights from Lenny's Podcast: Wisdom from Top Industry Leaders

How to Use Your Enemies

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7 Traits of Every Effective Leader

Decisive

How To Win Friends and Influence People

The Mentally Strong Leader

AI and Brands: 10 Realities Marketers Can’t Ignore

The Prince

It's time to Read like a Pro.

It's time to
Read like a Pro.