“An expert is someone who, over many years, manages to remain confident enough to keep trying and humble enough to keep learning.”

“You have no responsibility to live up to someone else's expectation of you.Spend as little time as possible chasing other people's preferences instead of your own.”

“Slowing down enables you to act in a high quality way.Kind rather than curt. Polished rather than sloppy.It's hard to be thoughtful when you're in a rush.”

Poet and novelist May Sarton  on letting go: “I think of the trees and how simply they let go, let fall the riches of a season, how without grief (it seems) they can let go and go deep into their roots for renewal and sleep… Imitate the trees. Learn to lose in order to recover, and remember that nothing stays the same for long, not even pain, psychic pain. Sit it out. Let it all pass. Let it go.”

Writer Joan Didion shares some life advice:“I'm not telling you to make the world better, because I don't think that progress is necessarily part of the package. I'm just telling you to live in it. Not just to endure it, not just to suffer it, not just to pass through it, but to live in it. To look at it. To try to get the picture. To live recklessly. To take chances. To make your own work and take pride in it. To seize the moment. And if you ask me why you should bother to do that, I could tell you that the grave's a fine and private place, but none I think do there embrace.

What is one lesson you learned (or relearned) this year?

personaldevelopment

Personal Development

motivationandinspiration

Motivation & Inspiration

communication

Communication

3-2-1: Slowing down, letting go, and lessons from the year

Do not make life decisions based on immediate compulsions. Looking back after many years, it should still be a worthwhile choice.

problemsolving

Problem Solving

timemanagement

Time Management

Mystic Quotes - Sadhguru

Practicing detachment is part of life.I’m not trying to say that success and happiness are bad things to be chasing, it’s just that I came to a realise : chasing something too hard can lead to a lot of expectations and attachment to the outcome of a situation, which in itself can lead to suffering. What will they say? What will they decide?

The Art of Detachment: Learning to Let Go

We all know by now that an outcome in any given situation is unpredictable. There are too many factors to know exactly what might happen. It may turn out the way we want, or it may not, but there’s no way to know which way it’ll go. Letting go of the outcome is a practice to work on every day. With our heart wrapped up in it, we become like sailors hoping for the blessed sight of land after a long voyage, anxiously waiting for that first sight of the green shores of our homeland, the place where we belong.

Letting Go.

Many claim that there is a way of detaching from such emotional situations, using your logic to essentially “talk yourself out of” feelings and convince yourself that though they may be valid, these emotions aren’t necessarily true.Researchers claim that the triangle of thoughts, feelings, and behaviours is reciprocal. Any change in the cycle has an influence on the others

The Natural Course

Now, I’m not trying to say that success and happiness are bad things to be chasing, it’s just that I came to a realization that day: chasing something too hard can lead to a lot of expectations and…

productivity

Productivity

Understand yourself and those around you.

psychology

Psychology

Comparing ourselves to others allows them to drive our behavior. Sometimes this comparison is motivating and sometimes it’s destructive.

Comparing Can Be Motivating As Well As Destructive

At worst, when we compare ourselves to others we end up focusing our energy on bringing them down instead of raising ourselves up.

Comparisons between people are a recipe for unhappiness. 

your focus and energy is placed on what you’re capable of now and how you can improve yourself.Life becomes about being a better version of yourself. And when that happens, your effort and energy go toward <a href="https://fs.blog/2016/04/munger-operating-system/">upgrading your personal operating system </a>every day.

Being You - Is The Only Game You Can Really Win

Compare yourself to who you were yesterday.

Compare Yourself To Who You Were Yesterday

<ul><li>Think of anything you want to achieve. Learn and practice that.</li><li>Learn to know yourself. Observe your thoughts 💭.</li><li>Make your self care plan like having a coffee ☕ or tea 🍵, set a good and healthy diet, make excercise regimen or take a stroll in your surroundings to enjoy nature, listening to music etc, read a book 📖.</li><li>Have a journal for brain dump.</li></ul>Or you can do a lot of things just to focus on yourself and learn from everyone. Try not to things personally. Its all about mindset.

How To Focus On Yourself

I believe in the power of self awareness. To achieve self awareness we need to focus on ourselves instead of others. 

When you stop comparing yourself to others and turn your focus inward, you start being better at what really matters: being you.

The Danger of Comparing Yourself to Others - Farnam Street

I was always hungry for love. Just once, I wanted to know what it was like to get my fill of it- to be fed so much love I couldn't take any more. Just once

People leave strange little memories of themselves behind when they die

Life doesn't require ideals. It requires standards of action

When people tell a lie about something, they have to make up a bunch of lies to go with the first one. Mythomania is the word for it.

The dead will always be dead, but we have to go on living

The tragic death of their best friend has a profound influence on the passionate relationship between Toro, a serious young college student in Tokyo, and Naoko, an introspective beauty.

books

Books

A special movie-tie in edition for the long-awaited film release based on this beloved novel by Haruki Murakami: the story of one college student's romantic coming-of-age, a journey to that distant place of a young man's first, hopeless, and heroic love. Toru, a quiet and preternaturally serious young college student in Tokyo, is devoted to Naoko, a beautiful and introspective young woman, but their mutual passion is marked by the tragic death of their best friend years before.  Toru begins to adapt to campus life and the loneliness and isolation he faces there, but Naoko finds the pressures and responsibilities of life unbearable.  As she retreats further into her own world, Toru finds himself reaching out to others and drawn to a fiercely independent and sexually liberated young woman.

Haruki Murakami is a Japanese writer. His novels, essays, and short stories have been bestsellers in Japan and internationally, with his work translated into 50 languages and having sold millions of copies outside Japan.

Haruki Murakami

Norwegian Wood

After one year spent on trying improve myself here's what I've learnt.

Toxic Self Help 

1. I was an ignorant teenager and was tierd of being clueless. When i try to remember what I did or try to think of a reason to why I did what I did there's literally nothing that comes to mind i haven't gave anything a single thought just Slept thru my teen years.2. I got tierd of being that kid who just needed attention and validation of others all the time. That was the only thing I was working on in my teen years. I had many flaws bad skin , bad hair , bad habits [pmo] and people never failed to make sure I knew it. Chicks falked me so often that stuff really scared me. The dissatisfaction

Reasons

1. The dopamine hit after each self help product consumed got me Hooked the false sense of Achievement the feeling that Imactually moving forward and Progressing was enough to keep going2.After the consumption you feel like you're above than everybody else that people are wasting time trying to live a better life now than planning their future theyre stupid this content gave me god complex3. Self help content made me certain that if I waited long enough and keep on going my miserable life might just turn around4. Writing down goals making lists setting reminders planning days instead of Action

Begining

Felt great throughout the year being high on self help content but havent accomplished anything yet More consumption than taking action and actually doing anything Just making list and calling it a day God complex is killing me.Dissatisfaction of my past situation made me a consumer of self help content my current situation is no different only thing I have this time is the false hope at the back of my head that i can and eventually will do it this is because of the illusion of Progress If you pause for a second and look around youll realise nothing has changed.Artificial Motivation is useless

1 Year Experience

<ol><li>Action - this is the answer to all your problems and the trick to progress yes this is as complex as simple it may sound you have to Act on things instead of reading a book about it or watching a video on the topic</li><li>Minimise being the consumer.</li><li>There will always be struggle instead of running face it only then you will actually progress in any field</li><li>Hustle or working hard only work if you are working on the right thing hustle is not always the answer sometimes you need to analyse your strategy</li><li>Be practical in your approach to anything don't be too optimistic or pessimistic</li></ol>

Solution 

6. seek progress not perfection7. It will try to convince you that your are the next Elon musk but if you are not really competent than this Artificial Motivation & false hope is useless8. Every time you fail a certain task you'll feel stressed which is bad if you wanna max out your potential so be on the lookout if self help is holding you back.

Solution

The toxic world of self help: a world surrounded by toxic positivity, self help addiction, fake gurus, and hustle culture. It’s the side of ‘self-development’ that is often overlooked by those on the outside, and even those who are avid consumers of the industry. In this video we take a dive into the dark side of self-help, and the traps that may lie in wait for those who enter this world. ****** 👇 𝐒𝐮𝐩𝐩𝐨𝐫𝐭 𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐧𝐞𝐥 // 𝐁𝐞𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐞 𝐀 𝐏𝐚𝐭𝐫𝐨𝐧! ► https://www.patreon.com/jamesvj 💻𝐖𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐈 𝐛𝐞𝐠𝐚𝐧 𝐥𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐡𝐨𝐰 𝐭𝐨 𝐞𝐝𝐢𝐭 + 𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐜𝐥𝐚𝐬𝐬𝐞𝐬 (𝐒𝐤𝐢𝐥𝐥𝐬𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐞) ► https://skillshare.eqcm.net/Kr3Yn 📈𝐆𝐞𝐭 𝟐 𝐅𝐑𝐄𝐄 𝐒𝐓𝐎𝐂𝐊𝐒 𝐎𝐍 𝐖𝐄𝐁𝐔𝐋𝐋 𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐝𝐞𝐩𝐨𝐬𝐢𝐭 $𝟏𝟎𝟎 (𝐔𝐒): ► https://act.webull.com/kol-us/share.html?hl=en&inviteCode=aUn469wnhfEA 📹𝗠𝘆 𝗘𝗾𝘂𝗶𝗽𝗺𝗲𝗻𝘁: https://bit.ly/2OfHCTO 📚 𝐌𝐨𝐬𝐭 𝐈𝐧𝐟𝐥𝐮𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐚𝐥 𝐁𝐨𝐨𝐤𝐬 𝐈 𝐇𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐝: https://bit.ly/33pDvw7 🎶 𝐌𝐮𝐬𝐢𝐜 𝐔𝐬𝐞𝐝: Epidemic Sounds - https://bit.ly/2SblgUB Artlist - https://bit.ly/2IzPbVo 📸 Instagram: james.v.j // https://bit.ly/2TOaBBC 🐦 Twitter: @jamesvjani // https://bit.ly/2zYPrsT ****** DISCLAIMER This video is primarily based on my own experience in the self help industry, and therefore I want to make it clear that I am coming from a biased perspective throughout this video. HOW IT BEGINS Self development has a nice lure to it. It’s this world of people trying to improve themselves, take control over their lives and decisions, and live a better ‘fulfilling’ life. Or at least, it is presented to you this way. Most people come to the self-help world from a dark place, looking for some sort of ‘hope’ or ‘way out’ – and I was no exception to this. It was this desire to change my life situation that brought me to the world of self-help. SELF HELP ADDICTION Addiction to self help content is the first trap to often ensnare people. When you consume self help content you will often gain a surge in motivation. This motivation will urge you to purchase the next self help book, watch the next self help video, attend the next self help seminar from your favourite guru, etc etc. But this is problematic. This feeling of motivation and fulfilment is an illusion – an illusion of progress. Because in reality you haven’t made any progress, you have only gotten better at convincing yourself that you have. THE BUSINESS OF SELF HELP The industry of self-development is estimated to be worth around $13 billion dollars by 2022. The selling of books, online programs, seminars, coaching, podcasts, live speaking events, are some of the main mediums used to generate income from self-development. But this business knows how addicting this content can be. And your favourite gurus like Tony Robbins, Gary Vaynerchuk, Grant Cardone, Tai Lopez know (even if they won’t admit it) that you are more profitable to them unhappy and discontent than you are happy and fulfilled. TOXIC POSITIVITY The self help world can surround you with positive messages. Overwhelming you with ideas like “positive vibrations” in order to get you feeling good the more you consume. But nobody can feel good forever, life will always have ups and downs. Self-help can often make yo feel as though negative thoughts like quitting are wrong. And this brings us to the next problem: toxic positivity. Toxic positivity is about making you feel bad for not feeling great all the time, and the self help industry can absolutely put you in a position to feel like this. HUSTLE CULTURE Finally, we come to hustle culture. In this new world of Instagram entrepreneurs, humble bragging, and fake gurus, this concept of ‘hustling’ and working hard every hour of the day has become romanticised. There are a few issues with this. Often times those that brag about ‘hustling’ are actually procrastinating and achieving nothing. Then there are those who actually work every hour of the day, thinking that this is what encapsulated what it means to be successful – it doesn’t. Working hard at the RIGHT thing, is what makes the odds of success higher. And the best way to know if you are working hard at the right thing is to take a step back from your ‘hustling’ and reflect on the strategy you are using. ****** All materials in these videos are used for educational purposes and fall within the guidelines of fair use. No copyright infringement is intended. If you are or represent the copyright owner of materials used in this video and have a problem with the use of said material, please contact me via my email in the "about" page on my channel. AFFILIATE DISCLOSURE: there may be a few links in this description that, at no cost to you, will earn me a commission if you choose to click them and make a purchase 🙂 Don’t worry – I only ever promote things that have genuinely helped me. Copyright © James Jani 2020 Prologue - 00:00 Part 1: Where it Begins - 02:13 Part 2: Addiction - 04:26 Part 3: The Sinister Business of Selling Hope - 07:39 Part 4: Toxic Positivity - 10:41 Part 5: Hustle Culture - 13:30 Conclusion - 16:36

habits

Habits

The toxic world of self help: a world surrounded by toxic positivity, self help addiction, fake gurus, and hustle culture. 

It’s the side of ‘self-development’ that is often overlooked by those on the outside, and even those who are avid consumers of the industry.

In this video we take a dive into the dark side of self-help, and the traps that may lie in wait for those who enter this world.

******
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📦 Download my Video Editing Templates:
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►Epidemic Sounds - https://www.epidemicsound.com/referral/5uqnji

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💼 Job Opportunities: 
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🐦 Twitter: @jamesvjani // https://bit.ly/2zYPrsT


******
All materials in these videos are used for educational purposes and fall within the guidelines of fair use. No copyright infringement is intended. If you are or represent the copyright owner of materials used in this video and have a problem with the use of said material, please contact me via my email in the "about" page on my channel.

AFFILIATE DISCLOSURE: there may be a few links in this description that, at no cost to you, will earn me a commission if you choose to click them and make a purchase 🙂
Don’t worry – I only ever promote things that have genuinely helped me.

Copyright © James Jani 2020

Prologue - 00:00
Part 1: Where it Begins - 02:13
Part 2: Addiction - 04:26
Part 3: The Sinister Business of Selling Hope - 07:39
Part 4: Toxic Positivity  - 10:41
Part 5: Hustle Culture - 13:30
Conclusion - 16:36

Hi - I'm James! 

This channel explores my discoveries and perspectives on various topics through entertaining documentary-style videos! 

Follow me for behind the scenes, teasers, and everything in between: 
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🐦Twitter - @jamesvjani

Become a Patron // https://www.patreon.com/jamesvj

Business/Sponsor Inquiries // jamesvj.suggestions@gmail.com


James Jani

The Toxic World of Self Help: Hustle Culture, Toxic Positivity, Addiction, and Fake Gurus.

Toxic World of Self Help

“Doing it right is hard. Doing it over is harder.”

“Three simple ways to get more of what you want in life:<ol><li>Be kind and pleasant to others.</li><li>Ask for what you want.</li><li>Follow up.</li></ol>

In the gym, if you experience no stimulus your muscles won't grow. If you step under 10,000 pounds your body will break.Life is similar.Too much challenge makes life hard, but so does too little.

Challenges

On being grateful for what you avoid:“If you don’t get everything you want, think of the things you don’t get that you don’t want.”

“I tell my kids, what is the difference between a hero and a coward? What is the difference between being [cowardly] and being brave? No difference. Only what you do. They both feel the same. They both fear dying and getting hurt. The man who is [cowardly] refuses to face up to what he’s got to face. The hero is more disciplined and he fights those feelings off and he does what he has to do. But they both feel the same, the hero and the coward. People who watch you judge you on what you do, not how you feel.”

At this time next year, what will you be thankful you spent time on during the next 12 months?

1 QUESTION FOR YOU

3-2-1: Gratitude, courage, and how to get more of what you want in life

Who wants to be a looser? No one. Losing feels like we aren't worthy enough. It takes a toll on our self esteem. Hence, we choose not trying at all over our chances of failing!As a result, we stop ourselves from taking any risks and try new things, which stop us to explore our full potential and reach growth which we have capabilities of.Good news is we can learn to accept failures and detach our self worth from it.

Facing The Fear Of Losing

Everything you want is on the other side of fear.

Failure is a natural part of life. It doesn't mean you are a loser, it means you tried.In this day and age of the Internet, where tons of dopamine is just a click away, it's a rare trait to try something that you are not fully sure of winning. Give yourself credit for it.Change your perspective from seeing your failures as you being unworthy to courageous for trying something you were uncertain about!

Changing Perspective On Failure

Failure should be our teacher, not our undertaker. Failure is delay, not defeat. It is a temporary detour, not a dead end. Failure is something we can avoid only by saying nothing, doing nothing, and being nothing.” -

What's worse than failing? Failing in front of others! As social animals, we do care about how we are getting perceived.But we need to understand and consciously stop thinking about what others are thinking. If we want to improve and learn, we need to make peace with the fact that we may appear like a loser in front of others.

Stop Thinking About Others

If you wish to improve, be content to appear clueless or stupid

Many a times I have stopped myself to attempt something new and sabotaged my own growth in fear of failure and getting called a loser. I wrote this to help anyone who feels the same.

How to handle the fear of failure?

When you really understand you are just a speck of life in a limitless cosmos, you will naturally bow down to everything.

philosophy

Philosophy

religionandspirituality

Religion & Spirituality

artsandculture

Society, Arts & Culture

Sometimes you will never know the value of a moment, until it becomes a memory

Offers five classic Dr. Seuss tales, including the popular story featuring a rainy day visit by the Cat in the Hat.

This collectible Dr. Seuss boxed set is perfect for inspiring a love of reading, and with five books in one super giftable set, it will complete any beginning reader's shelf! An ideal gift for new parents, birthday celebrations, and happy occasions of all kinds, this collection of five beloved Beginner Books by Dr. Seuss will be cherished by young and old alike. Books in this boxed set include: The Cat in the Hat One Fish Two Fish Red Fish Blue Fish Green Eggs and Ham Hop on Pop Fox in Socks Originally created by Dr. Seuss himself, Beginner Books are fun, funny, and easy to read. These unjacketed hardcover early readers encourage children to read all on their own, using simple words and illustrations. Smaller than the classic large format Seuss picture books like The Lorax and Oh, The Places You'll Go!, these portable packages are perfect for practicing readers ages 3-7--and lucky parents too!

Dr. Seuss

Dr. Seuss's Beginner Book Collection 1

Dr. Seuss's Beginner Book Collection

Find 100+ Motivation Tips & Ideas  - Curated from inspiring sources like Books, Podcasts & Articles - Genuine Insights from like-minded Users like You!

3-2-1: Slowing down, letting go, and lessons from the year

Mystic Quotes - Sadhguru

The Art of Detachment: Learning to Let Go

The Danger of Comparing Yourself to Others - Farnam Street

Norwegian Wood

Toxic World of Self Help

3-2-1: Gratitude, courage, and how to get more of what you want in life

How to handle the fear of failure?

Mystic Quotes - Sadhguru

Dr. Seuss's Beginner Book Collection

It's time to Read like a Pro.

It's time to
Read like a Pro.