<ul><li>When you’re in a bad mood, it can feel like the weight of the world is on your shoulders. Everything seems ten times harder and nothing seems to go your way. It’s hard to enjoy the simple things in life when you’re feeling down in the dumps.</li><li>Your bad mood can also affect those around you. If you’re constantly complaining and snapping at people, it’s only natural that they would start to distance themselves from you.</li><li>But it’s not just our social life that suffers when we’re in a bad mood. Our physical health does as well. When we’re stressed or unhappy, our body goes into fight-or-flight mode.</li></ul>

How Does Our Mood Affect Our Life?

<ul><li>Watch a funny movie or TV show.</li><li>Play with a pet. There's something about the unconditional love of an animal that can cheer you.</li><li>Make yourself a feel-good playlist of your favorite upbeat songs and listen to it whenever you need a pick-me-up. Or listen to a Podcast. </li><li>Read a good book.</li><li>Meditate. A simple 10-minute session may be enough to reset your mind quickly.</li><li>Taking deep breaths is a simple yet effective way to instantly relax and improve your mood. </li><li>Making a gratitude list of the things and people who make your life happy can relieve you of negative thoughts.</li><li>Drink herbal tea. Chamomile an<warningtag>d lavender tea are especially good for relaxation.</warningtag></li><li><warningtag>Fix yourself a pretty meal.</warningtag></li><li><warningtag>Make sure you are getting at least 7 to 8 hours of sleep every night.</warningtag></li></ul>

Get Yourself in a Happy Mood: Indoors Activities

<ul><li>Hang out with friends. Surrounding yourself with positive people is a great way to improve your mood. </li><li>Take a walk around the block or sit in the park and people-watch. </li><li>Exercise. Endorphins are released when you exercise which can lead to an improved mood.</li><li>Connect with nature. There's something about nature that has a calming effect on the soul.</li><li>Volunteer.  Giving back to the community can make you feel good and improve your mood.</li><li>Go to a coffee shop. Grab some coffee, tea, or hot cocoa, take a seat, and people-watch. Many coffee shops often play some cool music and have comfy chairs to relax<warningtag> in.</warningtag></li><li><warningtag>If you have access to a beach, take advantage of it! The sound of the waves, seagulls, and the smell of salt water will be invigorating.</warningtag></li></ul>

Get Yourself in a Happy Mood: Outdoors Activities

<ul><li>Spending time with loved ones is a great way to lift your spirits. If you can't be with them in person, give them a call or video chat.</li><li>Plan a vacation. Sometimes all you need is a change of scenery. If you can't take a vacation right away, start planning one for the future.</li><li>Go on a picnic. Whether you go to a nearby park or your own backyard, pack a picnic basket full of your favorite snacks and enjoy the outdoors.</li><li>Look at old photos. Life can get hectic and stressful. Sometimes it's nice to take a walk down memory lane and look at old photos</li><li>Have a water balloon fight. No water gun – no problem. <warningtag>Take some leftover balloons and have a balloon fight instead. </warningtag></li><li><warningtag>Go for a ride. Something as simple as getting in your car and going for a ride can help improve your mood. </warningtag></li></ul>

Get Yourself in a Happy Mood: Family Activities

Small things  you can do every day to quickly put yourself in a mood. 

food

Food

motivationandinspiration

Motivation & Inspiration

mentalhealth

Mental Health

personaldevelopment

Personal Development

Understand yourself and those around you.

psychology

Psychology

Mood Boosters: Put Yourself in a Happy Mood 

Get yourself in a happy mood: Simple and quick ways to cheer yourself up

In this post, we have listed a few tips to help you get into a good mood when your feeling down. Read on...

Quick Ways to Get Yourself in a Happy Mood

Activities to Get Yourself in a Happy Mood

Snoozing is breaking a promise with yourself. When you set that alarm for 6:00 AM, you were committing to getting up then. By snoozing, you broke the commitment, which means your self-esteem is going to take a hit. Not a great way to start your day off.On the other hand, when you actually get out of bed when your alarm goes off, you’re giving yourself a hit of mood-boosting self-efficacy—you’re proving to yourself that you’re the kind of person who does what they say they will. And that feels good!

Stop snoozing

Exercising first thing in the morning improves your mood by boosting self-esteem and confidence. And even a small amount of exercise can give you a healthy mood boost.Try to commit to one of the following tiny morning exercises every day for a couple of weeks:<ul><li>Do as many pushups as you can in 3 minutes.</li><li>Go for a brisk 10-minute walk around your neighborhood.</li><li>Alternate pushups and sit-ups for 2 minutes.</li><li>Do a couple of sets of lunges.</li><li>Try a wall sit.</li></ul>

Get a (very) quick morning workout in

We are social to our core. You can leverage this fact of biology to improve your mood by taking a little time to make a small positive connection with another human being throughout your day.So, the next time you’re in line at Starbucks waiting for your coffee, put down your phone and look up:<ul><li>Ask the guy in front of you what he thinks of the new furniture layout.</li><li>Smile compassionately at the new mom trying to wrangle three young kids out the door and into the minivan.</li><li>Ask your barista how her day is going with genuine interest.</li></ul>

Ask your barista how their day is going

Our work environment is full of cues for stress: a reminder about that uncomfortable email you have to send to your direct report, walking by your boss’s office, or even just hearing your phone ring for the twelfth time in an hour. All these little cues add up and can take a toll on your mood.You can give yourself a major break from all these negative cues and allow your mood to rise by taking your lunch to go and going for a walk for 15 or 30 minutes. Not only does it get you moving, but you get exposed to all sorts of new, non-work-related environmental cues which can positively impact your <warningtag>mood.</warningtag>

Do a walking lunch

Single-tasking is the ultimate form of relaxation. If you want to feel genuinely relaxed and calm, give your mind a break and do just one thing, like listening to good music.

Take a mindful music break

We tend to feel better when we get outside our own heads and do something for others. But being kind and generous to other people doesn’t have to be a monumental act of charity and self-sacrifice. It can be quite small and still meaningful.Try this:<ul><li>Make a list of 5-10 people whom you love and care about.</li><li>Set a recurring daily reminder on your phone for any time you like.</li><li>When the reminder goes off each day, take 30 seconds and text the first person on your list. Could be anything from a heartfelt message of love or admiration to a silly gif.</li><li>Work your way down the list, texting a new person on th<warningtag>e list each day.</warningtag></li></ul>

Text someone you love for no reason

Worry is often your mind’s way of making sure you don’t forget important things. If you want to stop worrying, prove to your mind that you can be trusted to manage your own to-dos.Tomorrow’s top 3 is a little habit for staying focused on and taking care of the most important things—and as a result, drastically cutting down on the amount of worry-as-memory-aid your mind needs to perform:<ul><li>At the end of your workday, set aside 5 minutes after you’ve finished up work but before you leave.</li><li>Take out an index card or sticky note and put it front and center on your desk, workspace, or wherever you beg<warningtag>in your workday.</warningtag></li><li><warningtag>Write down the three most important things you’d like to get done the following day.</warningtag></li></ul>

Jot down tomorrow’s top 3

One of the best ways to avoid having work stress spill over into your evenings at home is to create more of a transition between work and home.In order to transition into a more restful evening mode, it can be helpful to have a period of time in between when you give your mind a break.Commutes to and from work are natural transitions, but more often than not we keep our minds revved up by listening to radio or podcasts or on phone calls. But, if you commit to silence on your way home from work, you can give your mind a much needed period of rest and respite from the constant barrage of mental<warningtag> stimuli it gets all day.</warningtag>

Do a quiet commute

If you want to be overwhelmed with tragedy, anger, and despair over the state of the world, by all means, keep watching the news in the evening. Or you could read something uplifting instead.

Cut the news and read a story

An evening review means you take a few minutes to pause and reflect on your day. This can take whatever form you like—journaling, meditation, prayer, etc.Reviewing your day gives your perspective on your day. And when we have perspective on our days, we have perspective on our lives.

Do an evening review

Simple tips that you can do any time to help reduce stress and put yourself in a happy mood.

If you want to quickly put yourself in a good mood, these 10 simple tips you can do any time will help reduce stress and lift your mood.

10 Easy Ways to Put Yourself in a Good Mood Quickly

Easy Ways to Put Yourself in a Happy Mood Quickly

<ul><li>“<a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Psychology">Psychology</a> is the scientific study of the mind and behaviour of humans and animals.”</li><li>Nothing is Certain: We can never be certain about the future. Just because something’s always happened in the past doesn’t mean it will definitely happen in the future. </li><li><a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Associationism#:~:text=Associationism%20is%20the%20idea%20that,of%20sensations%20or%20simple%20feelings.">Associationism</a>: We assume “cause and effect” associations through experiencing pairs of events, e.g. one billiard ball hitting another. </li></ul>

Introducing Psychology

<ul><li>The <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Id,_ego_and_super-ego">Id</a> is inborn and It operates by The Pleasure Principle– the baby seeks pleasure and avoids the unpleasurable. The Id typically wants immediate gratification. </li><li>The <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Id,_ego_and_super-ego">Ego</a> operates by The Reality Principle— To survive, we must sometimes be realistic and plan for the future.</li><li>The <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Id,_ego_and_super-ego">Superego</a> (influenced by parents) is the “conscience” or “moral watchdog” that stops us from doing wrong, especially in the sense of being anti- social.</li></ul>

The Id, Ego and Superego 

<ol><li>The Law of Exercise– repetition strengthens learning. (Or, “Practice makes perfect”.) Learning by repetition is called Rote Learning or “Parrot Fashion”.</li><li>The Law of Effect– the effect of reward is to strengthen learning. (Or, “If it’s pleasurable, it will be repeated”.).</li></ol>It’s found reward (law 2) to be more effective than mere repetition (law 1). <ul><li><a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Aversion_therapy">Aversion Therapy</a> is replacing “nice” with “nasty”.</li></ul>Ex: to stop habits such as smoking or alcoholism…

Learning Laws 

<ul><li>“<a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Psychodynamics">Psychodynamic</a>” means “active mind” - There is mental struggle– especially in the hidden unconscious mind. </li><li>The <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Libido">Libido</a>- “sex drive” is the ENERGY we have that motivates and enables us to survive– sexual activity is one manifestation. </li><li>Intelligence is adapting quickly. </li><li><a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Reductionism">Reductionism</a>: Reduce propositions to simple facts.</li></ul>

The Psychodynamic Perspective 

<a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Natural_selection">Natural Selection</a> comes in two parts.<ol><li>First, changes can occur from one generation to the next. This is now known to be random “mutations” in the genes.</li><li>Second, there is the meaning of “Selection”: Changes that are beneficial give the new individual a better chance to survive.</li></ol>Where animals fit into the environment in this way is called Survival of the fittest.

Darwin’s Theory of Evolution 

<ul><li>……<a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Defence_mechanism">These</a> are ways to unconsciously protect ourselves from unpleasant ideas. In small doses, they help everyday survival.</li><li>It’s natural to seek situations that give comfort, especially when under stress. Sucking a finger, thumb, pencil, sweet, cigarette, drink etc, is Oral Regression. However, over- use causes problems.</li></ul>

The Defence Mechanisms 

…..Because,<ul><li>It causes the individual to AVOID BEING PUNISHED rather than stop the undesired behavior. ex: a person avoids getting caught etc..</li><li>It can cause the individual to associate the punishment with the PUNISHER, rather than the BEHAVIOUR. </li><li>It may train an individual about what NOT to do, but it doesn’t train WHAT to do. </li></ul>

Why Punishment is Often Ineffective ?

<ul><li>It’s found that the optimum period between response and <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Reinforcement">reinforcement </a>is about half a second, i.e. almost immediately. This is very important. For example, if a parent wants to reward or punish a child, then to be effective it should be done straight away. </li><li>It’s better to use a combination of reward (<a href="https://psychology.fandom.com/wiki/Positive_reinforcement">Positive Reinforcement</a>) and withdrawal of reward (Non- Reinforcement). </li></ul>

How To Reward Or Punish Someone?

<ul><li>“<a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cognition">Cognitive</a>” basically means “Thinking”– perceiving, memory, language, problem- solving, and so on. </li><li>The mind is ACTIVE and constantly looking for MEANINGS. They especially studied this in relation to visual perception, e.g. recognizing a human face. </li><li>Principles of <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Perception">Perception</a>: Perception involves both the sense organs (e.g. seeing) and the brain (thinking). </li><li>When we perceive an object, we experience the WHOLE EFFECT or PATTERN– not just a collection of separate sensations. </li></ul>

The Cognitive Perspective 

<ol><li>Proximity– because the dots are close together, they are perceived together as a line.</li><li>Continuity– we tend to perceive two lines crossing rather than two V- shapes.</li><li>Similarity– vertical columns are perceived rather than horizontal rows.</li><li>Closure– missing parts are assumed to be hidden or accidental.</li><li>Pragnanz- A sense of “goodness” or “rightness” is often experienced when objects are symmetrical, simple, stable…</li><li>Figure/ Ground Illusions- We tend to perceive some items in the foreground and others in the background.</li></ol>

WHOLE EFFECT or PATTERN

<ul><li>SELF- ACTUALIZATION: the innate human motivation to ACHIEVE OUR POTENTIAL by using and developing our talents and abilities. Each time we experience such a sense of fulfillment is called a PEAK EXPERIENCE. </li><li>In order to reach Self- Actualization, we have to satisfy lower “needs” that exist at different levels.</li><li>The <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Maslow%27s_hierarchy_of_needs">Hierarchy of Needs</a>: This is like a ladder where, starting from the bottom, each Need must be satisfied before the next Need up can motivate us.(👆)</li></ul>

Self Actualization

1. An openness to all experience.2. An ability to live fully in every moment.3. The will to follow their own instincts, rather than the will of others.4. Freedom in thought and action, e.g. spontaneity, flexibility5. Much creativity.

The Psychologically Healthy Person Has: 

<ul><li>People are so familiar with their own upbringing and way of life that they often forget just how different it can be– not just in other countries but even next door! </li><li>“<a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Socialization">Socialization</a>”– the process of learning the “norms” or rules of society. </li><li><a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Culture">Culture</a> is the “human- made part of the environment” and comes in two parts: objective (means of transport, cooking equipment, technology) and subjective (beliefs, values, roles). </li></ul>

The Social and Cultural Perspective 

<ol><li> Recognition is mainly Assimilation– taking in the surroundings, checking that things are the same, provides comfort and security.</li><li>Learning, is mainly Accommodation– adding new information to change existing knowledge. </li></ol>If there was too much recognition– if everything stayed the same– then life would be boring. If there was too much learning– i.e. constant newness– then life would be confusing.

Adult Schemas

<a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Halo_effect#:~:text=The%20halo%20effect%20(sometimes%20called,or%20feelings%20in%20other%20areas.">The Halo Effect</a> occurs when we generalize a person’s Central Traits. For example, if someone is perceived as basically “good” or “likeable”, then we tend to interpret all their behaviour as such. They can do no wrong! Similarly, someone perceived to be “bad” will tend to be disliked whatever they do!

The Halo Effect

<ul><li><a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Serial-position_effect">The Primacy / Recency Effect </a>refers to whether we discover information about someone earlier (Primacy) or later (Recency). The Primacy Effect–“first impressions count”–occurs from the moment of meeting a person (within seconds), and the effect of the face, clothes, mannerisms, speech..</li><li>It’s found that people judged a person to be basically “introvert” or “extrovert” depending on the information given first, even when it was later contradicted.</li></ul>

The Primacy / Recency Effect 

<ol><li>Compatibility: people tend to “pair off” with those who are generally similar or “matching”.</li><li>Rewards and Costs: attention, affection, trust, security, sharing, skills, information, status, money, energy, reproduction, sex…</li><li>Specific Factors</li></ol>Familiarity and Exposure seems to increase liking (As used in advertising and political campaigning!)–Reciprocal Liking–we tend to like people who we think like us!

Sexual Attraction 

An attitude can be divided into 3 aspects:1. Cognitive–the beliefs (factual & neutral) e.g. “Smoking is a major cause of cancer”.2. Affective–the emotional feelings e.g. “I hate the smell of cigarettes”.3. Behavioural–the actions taken e.g. “I only eat in non-smoking restaurants”.Attitude change can be achieved by working on all three.

Attitude 

<ul><li>Why do many animals form social groups? In one word: SURVIVAL! This applies to both INDIVIDUAL and SPECIES survival.</li><li>Individual Survival requires protection (including shelter from the weather and getting food).</li><li>Species Survival requires reproduction (involving finding a suitable mate, courtship and bonding, and protecting others (especially the off-spring).</li></ul>

Survival 

Examines the history of psychology; describes the main schools of thought; and introduces such key figures as Freud, Skinner, and Piaget.

education

Learning & Education

books

Books

scienceandnature

Science & Nature

What is psychology? When did it begin? How does psychology compare with related subjects such as psychiatry and psychotherapy? To what extent is it scientific? Introducing Psychology answers all these questions and more, explaining what the subject has been in the past and what it is now. The main 'schools' of thought and the sections within psychology are described, and key figures are covered as well as many lesser-known but important psychologists.

Nigel C. Benson

<a href="https://www.goodreads.com/en/book/show/51457371-one-decision">One Decision </a>explains how flawed decisions occur and how you can avoid them by analyzing data at first, asking for fact-checked opinions, eliminating your biases and prejudice, and many more useful practices derived from psychological research.

Summary

<a href="https://www.goodreads.com/en/book/show/51457371-one-decision">One Decision </a>is not going to motivate you to become a better person, nor is it going to tap you on the shoulder and make you feel better about the wrong decisions you’ve taken so far.  In contrast, this book will teach you how to go from the “stuck” feeling to “aha!” moments. It will teach you how to make better decisions by taking into account your personality and thought processes.

Overview 

Although you may not realize it, the main obstacle you’re facing is probably your own assumptions and barriers. When you learn to let go of fear and prejudice, you become open to a large variety of opportunities and a life of abundance.

Overview (Continued)

<ol><li>Your assumptions and fear of the unknown are keeping you stuck in unhappy situations. </li><li>Learn to adapt to the winds of change and keep an objective eye. </li><li>People are valuable assets, and so is fact-checked unbiased data. </li> </ol>

Top 3 Ideas From The Book 

When you focus on the opportunities, you become <a href="https://fourminutebooks.com/learned-optimism-summary/">optimistic </a>and solutions-oriented. You start looking for solutions instead of focusing on the problems that are right in front of your face. I know that sounds pretty obvious, but think about it for a minute. We often convince ourselves that we know what’s going to happen next. Do you think that’s not the case? How many times have you postponed asking for a raise or going for a routine check-up on your health?

Lesson 1:  There are opportunities to discover even in pitch dark if you know how to look for them  .

If you can think of a few occasions right away, it’s clear that you too, just like the rest of the humans, are wired to stay in your comfort zone of assumptions. What’s worse, we then make decisions based on those predictions—but more often than not, those predictions are not based on facts. This is why it is crucial to stay focused on all the possible outcomes and how they could play out, as well as the solutions associated with all the scenarios. Then, just try to play out the best possible scenario for your situation.

If you’re not careful, you might fall into the trap of overgeneralizing. This is when you make a determination based on very little evidence and apply it to a larger context—like deciding that all women are bad drivers because one woman almost hit you while driving on the highway.To avoid this pitfall, zoom out from single events or stereotypes. In other words, be objective! This means you shouldn’t make a decision based on singular facts, but rather average them out and leave subjectivity aside, even if it’s not convenient on the spot.Another great lesson from the book is to learn the skill <warningtag>of </warningtag><a href="https://fourminutebooks.com/adapt-summary/"><warningtag>adaptability </warningtag></a><warningtag>. </warningtag><warningtag>Life is likely going to push you into new and unthinkable scenarios, regardless of your routine. If you want to come out stronger on the other side, you must learn to adapt. </warningtag><warningtag>For example, you might be inclined to think that girls are better dancers. One day, you decide to take dance lessons yourself, and on your first day, you see that your instructor is a man. Besides overgeneralizing, not being flexible can spoil that experience for you. </warningtag>

Lesson 2:  A mind that’s trained to adapt to different situations and stay neutral can navigate life more easily  .

Another great lesson from the book is to learn the skill of <a href="https://fourminutebooks.com/adapt-summary/">adaptability </a>. Life is likely going to push you into new and unthinkable scenarios, regardless of your routine. If you want to come out stronger on the other side, you must learn to adapt. For example, you might be inclined to think that girls are better dancers. One day, you decide to take dance lessons yourself, and on your first day, you see that your instructor is a man. Besides overgeneralizing, not being flexible can spoil that experience for you.

You might think that you chose the wrong class or that the professor is not going to provide you with any valuable lessons. However, these are all products of a rigid mind that won’t try out things before opinionating. Keep an open mind if you want to navigate life more easily!

Whether you’re a CEO or just trying to figure out what to have for dinner, <a href="https://fourminutebooks.com/decisive-summary/">making decisions </a>is an important part of life. While it may seem intimidating at first, there are some basic steps you can take to make the process easier and more effective. First, put together a team to guide and support you in your decisions. This could mean an advisory council of trusted experts, or simply a few people who are willing to help you think through different options. People can be the most valuable asset you have at times, especially if they’re the right ones.

Lesson 3:  Before making any decisions, make sure to fact-check all your data and perhaps ask your team for a second opinion  .

Second, always base your decisions on facts, not emotions. It’s easy to let strong feelings influence our decision-making—but this is not always beneficial! Instead of letting feelings lead the way, try taking some time to reflect on what data is available before making any decisions that have real-world consequences.  Finally, never make a decision without having all the necessary information at hand. If there are unknown details about how something works or how much it costs, don’t assume anything; always ask questions until everything is crystal clear!

<a href="https://www.goodreads.com/en/book/show/51457371-one-decision">One Decision </a>is a great lecture for everyone looking to improve their lives and actively shape them by <a href="https://fourminutebooks.com/the-next-right-thing-summary/">making better decisions </a>. The book will help you recognize your limiting anchors and get rid of them for your own well-being. The advice received serves as a tool for identifying and eliminating self-limiting beliefs, which are often masked as “truths” or “facts.” As a result, you’ll make better decisions, <a href="https://fourminutebooks.com/relationship-goals-summary/">improve your relationships </a>and grow in your career.

One Decision Review

Nevertheless, reading it will help you understand where your thinking process goes downhill and how to be proactive in the decision-making process in order to choose a better life.

The 45-year-old person going through a mid-life crisis, the 30-year-old employee who wants to become more proactive in their life and climb the career ladder faster, or the 34-year-old late boomer who wants to learn how to take charge of their life.

Who would I recommend the One Decision to?

"There's this thing about being authentic and if you just be yourself, everything will align."-Mike Bayer

Author Quote

One Decision summary explains how to make better decisions by analyzing data at first and eliminating your biases and prejudice.

problemsolving

Problem Solving

One Decision Summary

Prejudice is an assumption or an opinion about someone simply based on that person's membership to a particular group.In society, we often see prejudices based on characteristics like race, sex, religion, culture, and more.

Prejudice

When people hold prejudicial attitudes toward others, they tend to view everyone with the defining characteristic as being "all the same." They paint every individual who holds specific characteristics or beliefs with a very broad brush and fail to look at each person as a unique individual.

<ul><li>Ageism, such as believing that someone is "too old" or "too young" to work in a particular role or participate in a specific activity.</li><li>Classism, which may include having a negative belief about someone based on their income or looking down on someone because they are "poor" or a member of the working class.</li><li>Homophobia, often defined as feeling a sense of discomfort, fear, distrust, or hatred for people who are members of the LGBTQ+ community.</li><li>Nationalism, which involves believing that the interests of your state's group are more important than those of other groups.</li></ul>

Types of Prejudice

<ul><li>Racism, which involves having a negative attitude toward members of a certain racial or ethnic group rooted in systems of power and oppression.</li><li>Religious prejudice, which involves feeling negatively toward someone because of their religious beliefs, practices, or ideologies.</li><li>Sexism, which involves holding certain stereotypes or beliefs about someone based on their sex or gender.</li><li>Xenophobia, which involves disliking or fearing someone who the person considers "foreign" or "strange," often in the context of their native country.</li></ul>

Develop empathy for members of other groups.By imagining themselves in the same situation, people are able to think about how they would react and gain a greater understanding of other people's actions.

How to Reduce Prejudice

Prejudice involves having negative attitudes and stereotyped beliefs about members of a group. Learn why prejudice forms and how to overcome it.

communication

Communication

loveandrelationships

Love & Relationships

How People Develop Prejudices

Every day we engage in conversations rooted in ritual and social norms. With no conscious effort, we shift from one role to another. One minute, we’re the spouse happily cooking breakfast with our spouse. Shortly after, we’re meeting a client for lunch as a trusted advisor. And at the end of the day, we’re having cocktails with a friend as a confidant. No matter who we’re interacting with, our emotions, wants, worries, and judgments are embedded in each conversation.

Unconscious Conversations

We mostly shape-shift on autopilot, giving no thought to our personal conversational patterns. But when we pay attention to these patterns, we become more objective observers, reducing negative judgments about ourselves and others and creating space in our minds for navigating uncomfortable interactions.

Shape-Shifting Interlocutors 

Voice Dialogue is the psychological concept of the internal self, developed through socialization. According to Drs. Hal Stone and Sidra Stone, the psychologists who developed the method, we adopt different personalities to cope with the vulnerabilities and complexities of life. In every interaction, we must not only navigate the roles and words of others, but we must navigate ourselves. It’s no surprise then that interactions go awry and confound us.

Standing With Our Feet In Two Boats

To uncover the patterns of thinking that serve or hinder us in conversation, we can ask ourselves four questions.<ol><li>What roles can I observe in my interactions? </li><li>What story am I bringing to the conversation?</li><li>What’s fact and what’s fiction in my conversation?</li><li>What questions can I ask to understand others better? </li></ol>Each question gives a window into conversational dynamics and patterns so we can better navigate confusing or fraught interactions.

4 Questions to Ask for Better Conversations

Each role we play with others involves intrinsic power issues, and real and perceived power dynamics play out, unspoken and unacknowledged. Those dynamics can enhance or hinder conversations.In any conversation, ask yourself what role you are playing, and pay attention to the power dynamics. As a boss, are you coming off as arrogant or humble? As a direct report, are you presenting as judgmental or respectful? As a friend, are you critical or supportive? As a parent, are you fearful or loving?

1. What Roles Can I Observe in My Interactions?

We thrive on the stories we adopted from our families and cultures. They facilitate connections, and when we hear stories that resonate with our patterns of thinking, our brains fire up. We experience neural coupling, an uptick of dopamine, and a positive shared experience. No matter the role we play—mother, father, sibling, leader, or friend—every interaction is a complex collection of stories and potential connection.

2. What Story Am I Bringing to the Conversation?

Stories are vital. Unfortunately, they can trap us in fear, worry, and conflict. When someone opposes our beliefs, we can become emotionally triggered and react on autopilot. Our stories help us navigate life, but we suffer when our ego is caught in their grip. We don’t have to give up our stories. We just have to be aware of them, recognize them, and consciously choose those that serve us and reject those that don’t.

Following A Broken Compass

Our stories consist of facts and opinions. That might seem apparent, but fact and fiction become a perplexing, tangled web because our stories are so crucial to our identities, our egos, and the roles that we play. It’s not surprising that they often lead us astray.By recognizing our stories, we can investigate and transform them. Facts are inarguable and confirmative. Objective reality is based on our shared senses and our social norms, and our actions are recordable and objective. Sometimes we don’t agree with an action, but that doesn’t diminish its indisputable reality.

3. What’s Fact And What’s Fiction in My Conversation?

Facts are critical for establishing common ground from which we can connect and sync up our conversations.Opinions, on the other hand, arise out of the collection of beliefs that we adopt throughout life. Unlike facts, our opinions are complex, personal, and uncertain. Our egos, roles, and personalities are very comfortable with our opinions, which comprise a big part of our thoughts. We readily defend them because we identify so closely with them.

Facts Sync Up Our Conversations. But We Sync With Our Opinions. 

When we investigate our opinions, we slowly detach from them and reveal our more profound—and often unconscious —thoughts so we can make conscious choices about their value.We can use four fundamental components of opinions—desires, concerns, authority, and standards—to transform our thinking, allowing us to change a difficult conversation into a collaborative one.

Conscious Choices About (Often) Unconscious Thoughts 

During a troubling conversation, ask yourself :<ul><li>What desires and wants are part of this conversation?</li><li>What concerns about the future are affecting my thoughts related to this issue?</li><li>What power issues are impacting this conversation?</li><li>What standards am I using to make this judgment?</li></ul>

4 Fundamental Components Of Opinions

We unconsciously advocate for and defend our positions because we’ve long been trained to “have the answer.” Advocacy is far more common than its underappreciated sibling, inquiry.To change that dynamic, we can begin to listen to how we and others advocate in conversations. What is our tone when we offer our perspective? When questioned, are we defensive or open to other ideas? How do we react when others advocate their position forcefully?

4. What Questions Can I Ask to Understand Others Better?

Instead of giving up our opinions, we can practice open advocacy. Open advocacy is holding our opinions more lightly and sharing the thinking under the surface of our stories, creating space for deeper understanding.Open inquiry is the art of asking sincere, respectful questions to seek understanding. It’s a secret key to creating mutual learning and collaboration. When we inquire about others’ desires, concerns, issues of power, and standards, we invite them into collaborative, creative interactions that are far more fulfilling than the alternative.

Open Advocacy And Open Inquiry

Asking these questions over time and observing our roles, stories, opinions, and interaction styles will dramatically increase our awareness and conversational skills and guide us to having more conscious satisfying conversations—and a little more peace.

The Takeaway: Roles, Stories, Opinions, Interaction Styles

Seeing the question “What are you bringing to the conversation?” in a whole new light. “An awful lot”, is the answer; and probably not in the way we thought, neither about “awful”, nor about “a lot”.

How to uncover the patterns of thinking that serve or hinder us in conversation.

4 Questions to Ask Ourselves for Better Conversations

Have you ever wondered what goes through your brain when you are in love?If you have ever experienced your crush turning into love, it is safe to say that you assume the transition happened naturally. However, did you ever stop and think about why you felt such a significant emotional leap in the first place? What changes happen in your brain that make you fall deeply in love?Experts explain that the process of romantic love involves a few complex changes, specifically in the reward system of the human brain, making you crave the objective of your affection.

The Psychology Of A Loving Brain

Romantic love is most constantly linked with activity in two regions of the brain – the caudate nucleus and the VTA or ventral tegmental area. These two areas play a key role in your reward pathway and control dopamine, the “feel good” neurotransmitter. It means that during the early phases of your love, you crave the other person because you feel so good thanks to them.

These feelings persist over time. Studies seem to suggest that the moment you fall in love, provided that the relationship continues to be satisfying, thinking about your partner will not just make you feel good. At the same time, it can also help buffer against stress, pain, and all sorts of negative emotions and feelings.Even if it is still early, those giddy initial stages of romantic love might feel somewhat different from the kind of love that has already been nurtured through the years. However, the human brain might not necessarily be able to identify the difference.

Another study had participants who had already been married for 21.4 years on average. They reported that they still feel passionate love for one another, showing the same activity in areas rich in dopamine, such as the VTA, similar to those who are still in the early throes of love. The neural patterns of romantic love appear to be universal across different sexual orientations, genders, and cultures. However, not all kinds of desire or love look the same. For example, platonic and romantic love might come with some distinct neural signatures.

Studies also show that the neural processes that are responsible for sexual desire and attraction can take place together and might even often overlap with the ones that control romantic love, despite being mostly distinct from each other. However, there is still no study to date that has followed just one person throughout the course of their romantic life to identify if neural changes take place over time. Today, experts continue to try to fill the gaps in how people understand love.

Additional future research will probably tease apart the processes of the brain at work, from that initial awkward date to several years after the couple has exchanged their first “I love you.” Supplementary work will also look into the underlying neural processes linked with the different forms of love associated with friends, family, things, and places. The physiology of a loving brain is a complex one, but one thing is for sure, love in and of itself is a great feeling to have.

Expand your knowledge with the help of our unique educational platform that delivers only relevant and inspiring content. This app provides an alternative kind of learning and education discovery.

Sintelly - Psychology of a Loving Brain

This book is organized around these six principles also referred to as weapons of influence 1. Consistency2. Reciprocation 3. Social Proof4. Authority5. Liking 6. Scarcity

What resonated with me   (Idea 1)

Everything should be made as simple as possible, but not simpler - Albert Einstein

Idea 2

A well-known principle of human behavior says that when we ask someone to do us a favor we will be more successful if we provide a reason. People simply like to have reasons for what they do.

Idea 3

Often something expensive is treated as good as per the customer's buying behavior

Idea 4

Influencing is a difficult and intelligent art. While the book gives ample examples and techniques to learn how to influence, it also depicts the subtle awareness about the 'intent' behind the act of influence. It is a great intellectual read.

My perspective after reading the book

Read this book on Influence and learned a new perspective. Sharing ideas that resonated with me. 

The foundational and wildly popular go-to resource for influence and persuasion—a renowned international bestseller, with over 5 million copies sold—now revised adding: new research, new insights, new examples, and online applications. In the new edition of this highly acclaimed bestseller, Robert Cialdini—New York Times bestselling author of Pre-Suasion and the seminal expert in the fields of influence and persuasion—explains the psychology of why people say yes and how to apply these insights ethically in business and everyday settings. Using memorable stories and relatable examples, Cialdini makes this crucially important subject surprisingly easy. With Cialdini as a guide, you don’t have to be a scientist to learn how to use this science. You’ll learn Cialdini’s Universal Principles of Influence, including new research and new uses so you can become an even more skilled persuader—and just as importantly, you’ll learn how to defend yourself against unethical influence attempts. You may think you know these principles, but without understanding their intricacies, you may be ceding their power to someone else. Cialdini’s Principles of Persuasion: Reciprocation Commitment and Consistency Social Proof Liking Authority Scarcity Unity, the newest principle for this edition Understanding and applying the principles ethically is cost-free and deceptively easy. Backed by Dr. Cialdini’s 35 years of evidence-based, peer-reviewed scientific research—including a three-year field study on what leads people to change—Influence is a comprehensive guide to using these principles to move others in your direction.

The foundational and wildly popular go-to resource for influence and persuasion—a renowned international bestseller, with over 5 million copies sold—now revised adding: new research, new insights, new examples, and online applications.In the new edition of this highly acclaimed bestseller, Robert Cialdini—New York Times bestselling author of Pre-Suasion and the seminal expert in the fields of influence and persuasion—explains the psychology of why people say yes and how to apply these insights ethically in business and everyday settings. Using memorable stories and relatable examples, Cialdini makes this crucially important subject surprisingly easy. With Cialdini as a guide, you don’t have to be a scientist to learn how to use this science. You’ll learn Cialdini’s Universal Principles of Influence, including new research and new uses so you can become an even more skilled persuader—and just as importantly, you’ll learn how to defend yourself against unethical influence attempts. You may think you know these principles, but without understanding their intricacies, you may be ceding their power to someone else. Cialdini’s Principles of Persuasion: <ul><li>Reciprocation</li><li>Commitment and Consistency</li><li>Social Proof </li><li>Liking </li><li>Authority</li><li>Scarcity</li><li>Unity, the newest principle for this edition</li></ul>Understanding and applying the principles ethically is cost-free and deceptively easy. Backed by Dr. Cialdini’s 35 years of evidence-based, peer-reviewed scientific research—including a three-year field study on what leads people to change—Influence is a comprehensive guide to using these principles to move others in your direction.

Robert B. Cialdini, PhD is an accomplished writer whose work has resonated with readers around the world. Robert B. Cialdini, PhD has published several books that explore a range of topics, from fiction to nonfiction, and has received critical acclaim for the ability to weave compelling narratives. Robert B. Cialdini, PhD's writing style is known for its depth and authenticity, and has earned quite a loyal following of readers.

Robert B. Cialdini, PhD

Influence

Influence, New and Expanded

The “existential” bit has to do with your own existence — specifically, the meaning of your existence.Questions like “who am I?” and “why am I here?” and “what are my values?”There are two modes — two different ways to come at the questions of your own existence and understand who you are:<ol><li>“reflective self-definition” &</li><li>“coherent being.”</li></ol>

What Is The Existential Mode

Let’s just assume that you understand that you’re not defined by your reflection in the physical mirror, or at best that’s a limited definition of “me”.Well… it turns out that there are other kinds of mirrors:<ul><li>Not the physical glass kind, though — there are various ways in which the human mind fabricates mirrors as it goes along.</li><li>These are cognitive, psychological, perspective-switching processes in which the mind uses its experience, concepts, memories, and interpretive plumbing in a particular way to try to get a view of “the self.”</li></ul>

Reflective self-definition

Even without other people, the mind keeps putting up mirrors.

Found this topic fascinating. All ideas belong to Les Matheson. He is the author that inspired me. 

Getting rid of my ego

Find 100+ Psychology Facts about Human Behaviour, Mind or Nature - Curated from Videos, Podcasts, Books & Articles - Genuine Insights from Other People

Quick Ways to Get Yourself in a Happy Mood

10 Easy Ways to Put Yourself in a Good Mood Quickly

Introducing Psychology

One Decision Summary

How People Develop Prejudices

4 Questions to Ask Ourselves for Better Conversations

Sintelly - Psychology of a Loving Brain

Influence, New and Expanded

Getting rid of my ego

Real Wins

It's time to
Read like a Pro.

Quick Ways to Get Yourself in a Happy Mood

10 Easy Ways to Put Yourself in a Good Mood Quickly

Introducing Psychology

One Decision Summary

How People Develop Prejudices

4 Questions to Ask Ourselves for Better Conversations

Sintelly - Psychology of a Loving Brain

Influence, New and Expanded

Getting rid of my ego

Real Wins

It's time to Read like a Pro.

It's time to
Read like a Pro.