He had thought more than other men, and in matters of the intellect he had that calm objectivity, that certainty of thought and knowledge, such as only really intellectual men have, who have no axe to grind, who never wish to shine, or to talk others down, or to appear always in the right.

In course of time I was more and more conscious, too, that this affliction was not due to any defects of nature, but rather to a profusion of gifts and powers which had not attained to harmony. […] I saw at the same time that the root of his pessimism was not world-contempt but self-contempt; for however mercilessly he might annihilate institutions and persons in his talk he never spared himself. It was always at himself first and foremost that he aimed the shaft, himself first and foremost whom he hated and despised.

He was brought up by devoted but severe and very pious parents and teachers in accordance with that doctrine that makes the breaking of the will the corner-stone of education and upbringing. But in this case the attempt to destroy the personality and to break the will did not succeed. He was much too strong and hardy, too proud and spirited. Instead of destroying his personality they succeeded only in teaching him to hate himself.

Soon I never thought of him by any other name; nor could I today hit on a better description of him. A wolf of the Steppes that had lost its way and strayed into the towns and the life of the herd, a more striking image could not be found for his shy loneliness, his savagery, his restlessness, his homesickness, his homelessness.

Every age, every culture, every custom and tradition has its own character, its own weakness and its own strength, its beauties and ugliness; accepts certain sufferings as matters of course, puts up patiently with certain evils. Human life is reduced to real suffering, to hell, only when two ages, two cultures and religions overlap. […] Now there are times when a whole generation is caught in this way between two ages, two modes of life, with the consequence that it loses all power to understand itself and has no standard, no security, no simple acquiescence.

There is much to be said for contentment and painlessness, for these bearable and submissive days, on which neither pain nor pleasure is audible, but pass by whispering and on tip-toe. But the worst of it is that it is just this contentment that I cannot endure. […] For what I always hated and detested and cursed above all things was this contentment, this healthiness and comfort, this carefully preserved optimism of the middle classes, this fat and prosperous brood of mediocrity.

There I took refuge. True, it was only a refuge […] Here, too, I found neither home nor company, nothing but a seat from which to view a stage where strange people played strange parts.

How foolish to wear oneself out in vain longing for warmth! Solitude is independence. It had been my wish and with the years I had attained it. It was cold. Oh, cold enough! But it was also still, wonderfully still and vast like the cold stillness of space in which the stars revolve.

There was once a man, called the Steppenwolf. He went on two legs, wore clothes and was a human being, but nevertheless he was in reality a wolf of the Steppes. He had learned a good deal of all that people of a good intelligence can, and was a fairly clever fellow. What he had not learned, however, was this: to find contentment in himself and his own life.

Clever men might argue the point whether he truly was a wolf […] or whether, on the other hand, this belief that he was a wolf was no more than a fancy or a disease of his. It might, for example, be possible that in his childhood he was a little wild and disobedient and disorderly, and that those who brought him up had declared a war of extinction against the beast in him; and precisely this had given him the idea and the belief that he was in fact actually a beast with only a thin covering of the human.

On [whether he truly was a wolf or merely fancied he was a wolf] one could speak at length and entertainingly, and indeed write a book about it. The Steppenwolf, however, would be none the better for it, since for him it was all one whether the wolf had been bewitched or beaten into him, or whether it was merely an idea of his own. What others chose to think about it or what he chose to think himself was no good to him at all. It left the wolf inside him just the same.

It cannot be denied that he was generally very unhappy; and he could make others unhappy also, that is, when he loved them or they him. For all who got to love him, saw always only the one side in him. Many loved him as a refined and clever and interesting man, and were horrified and disappointed when they had come upon the wolf in him. And they had to because [he] wished, as every sentient being does, to be loved as a whole and therefore it was just with those whose love he most valued that he could least of all conceal and belie the wolf.

There are a good many people of the same kind as [him]. Many artists are of his kind. These persons all have two souls, two beings within them […] and in just such a state of enmity and entanglement towards and within each other as were the wolf and man in Harry. And these men, for whom life has no repose, live at times in their rare moments of happiness with such strength and indescribable beauty, the spray of their moment's happiness is flung so high and dazzlingly over the wide sea of suffering, that the light of it, spreading its radiance, touches others too with its enchantment.

He achieved his aim. He was ever more independent. Only, through this virtue, he was bound the closer to his destiny of suffering. It happened to him as it does to all; what he strove for with the deepest and most stubborn instinct of his being fell to his lot, but more than is good for men. In the beginning his dream and his happiness, in the end it was his bitter fate. The man of power is ruined by power, the man of money by money, the submissive man by subservience, the pleasure seeker by pleasure.

But in the midst of the freedom he had attained he suddenly became aware that his freedom was a death and that he stood alone. The world in an uncanny fashion left him in peace. […] He began to suffocate slowly in the more and more rarefied atmosphere of remoteness and solitude. For now it was his wish no longer, nor his aim, to be alone and independent, but rather his lot and his sentence. The magic wish had been fulfilled and could not be cancelled, and it was no good now to open his arms with longing and goodwill to welcome the bonds of society. People left him alone now.

Now what we call "bourgeois," […] is nothing else than the search for a balance. It is the striving after a mean between the countless extremes and opposites that arise in human conduct. If we take any one of these opposites, such as piety and profligacy, the analogy is immediately comprehensible. It is open to a man to give himself up wholly to spiritual views, to seeking after God, to the ideal of saintliness. On the other hand, he can equally give himself up entirely to the life of instinct, to the lusts of the flesh, and so direct all his efforts to the attainment of momentary pleasures.

Now it is between the two, in the middle of the road, that the bourgeois seeks to walk. He will never be a martyr or agree to his own destruction. On the contrary, his ideal is not to give up but to maintain his own identity. He strives neither for the saintly nor its opposite. In short, his aim is to make a home for himself between two extremes in a temperate zone without violent storms and tempests; and in this he succeeds though it be at the cost of that intensity of life and feeling which an extreme life affords. A man cannot live intensely except at the cost of the self.

Now the bourgeois treasures nothing more highly than the self (rudimentary as his may be). And so at the cost of intensity he achieves his own preservation and security. His harvest is a quiet mind which he prefers to being possessed by God, as he does comfort to pleasure, convenience to liberty, and a pleasant temperature to that deathly inner consuming fire. The bourgeois is consequently by nature a creature of weak impulses, anxious, fearful of giving himself away and easy to rule. Therefore, he has substituted majority for power, law for force, and the polling booth for responsibility.

It is clear that this weak and anxious being, in whatever numbers he exists, cannot maintain himself, and that qualities such as his can play no other role in the world than that of a herd of sheep among free roving wolves. Yet we see that, though in times when commanding natures are uppermost, the bourgeois goes at once to the wall, he never goes under; indeed at times he even appears to rule the world. How is this possible? Neither the great numbers of the herd, nor virtue, nor common sense, nor organization could avail to save it from destruction. Nevertheless the bourgeoisie prospers. Why?

Why? Because of the Steppenwolves. In fact, the vital force of the bourgeoisie resides by no means in the qualities of its normal members, but in those of its extremely numerous "outsiders" who by virtue of the extensiveness and elasticity of its ideals it can embrace.

“Magic Theatre - Entrance Not for Everybody - Anarchist Evening Entertainment - For Madmen Only!” (Part 1)

Harry Haller is a sad and lonely figure, a reclusive intellectual for whom life holds no joy. He struggles to reconcile the wild primeval wolf and the rational man within himself without surrendering to the bourgeois values he despises. His life changes dramatically when he meets a woman who is his opposite, the carefree and elusive Hermine. The tale of the Steppenwolf culminates in the surreal Magic Theater—for mad men only. Steppenwolf is Hesse's best-known and most autobiographical work. With its blend of Eastern mysticism and Western culture, it is one of literature's most poetic evocations of the soul's journey to liberation. Originally published in English in 1929, the novel's wisdom continues to speak to our souls and marks it as a classic of modern literature.

Understand yourself and those around you.

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Psychology

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Philosophy

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Religion & Spirituality

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Books

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Society, Arts & Culture

Many works, including Siddhartha (1922) and Steppenwolf (1927), of German-born Swiss writer Hermann Hesse concern the struggle of the individual to find wholeness and meaning in life; he won the Nobel Prize for literature in 1946.Other best-known works of this poet, novelist, and painter include The Glass Bead Game, which, also known as Magister Ludi, explore a search of an individual for spirituality outside society. In his time, Hesse was a popular and influential author in the German-speaking world; worldwide fame only came later. 

Hermann Hesse

Steppenwolf

He says: ‘I came to this realisation that my job in a way is to think something that is different from everyone else – but I was in an environment where I was just getting all the same information as everyone else, and I was just thinking the same things as everyone else.’

Internet is aking us "Average Human Being"

A Long Research discovered that there is one mechanism which are shrinking our attention spans every time. You just have to flood the system with more information. The more information you pump in, the less time people can focus on any individual piece of it.

Science Based Results

we are exposed to, and the speed at which it hits us, with no costs. This is a delusion: ‘It becomes exhausting.’ More importantly, Sune said, ‘What we are sacrificing is depth in all sorts of dimensions … Depth takes time. And depth takes reflection. If you have to keep up with everything and send emails all the time, there’s no time to reach depth. Depth connected to your work in relationships also takes time. It takes energy. It takes long timespans. And it takes commitment. It takes attention, right? All of these things that require depth are suffering.

More Information = Less Depth Knowledge

Sune had seen a photo of Mark Zuckerberg standing in front of a room of people who were all wearing virtual-reality headsets. He was the only person standing in actual reality, looking at them, smiling, pacing proudly around. When he saw it, Sune said, he fears we are headed towards a world where ‘there’s going to be an upper class of people that are very aware’ of the risks to their attention and find ways to live within their limits, and then there will be the rest of the society with ‘fewer resources to resist the manipulation, and they’re going to be living more inside their computers.

Future Reality

a small study commissioned by Hewlett-Packard looked at the IQ of some of their workers in two situations. At first they tested their IQ when they were not being distracted or interrupted. Then they tested their IQ when they were receiving emails and phone calls. The study found that ‘technological distraction’ – just getting emails and calls – caused a drop in the workers’ IQ by an average of ten points. To give you a sense of how big that is: in the short term, that’s twice the knock to your IQ that you get when you smoke cannabis.

So if you spend your time switching a lot, then the evidence suggests you will be slower, you’ll make more mistakes, you’ll be less creative, and you’ll remember less of what you do

Side Effects

A team at UCLA got people to do two tasks at once, and tracked them to see the effects. It turned out that afterwards they couldn’t remember what they had done as well as people who did just one thing at a time. This seems to be because it takes mental space and energy to convert your experiences into memories, and if you are spending your energy instead on switching very fast, you’ll remember and learn less.

Multitasking Is A Lie

One rock climber told him later: ‘The mystique of rock-climbing is climbing; you get to the top of a rock glad it’s over but really wish it could go on forever. The justification of climbing is climbing, like the justification of poetry is writing. You don’t conquer anything except things in yourself … The act of writing justifies poetry. Climbing is the same: recognising you are a flow. The purpose of flow is to keep on flowing, not looking for a peak or utopia but staying in the flow. It is not a moving up but a continuous flowing; you move up to keep the flow going.’

Flow State

NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER • Our ability to pay attention is collapsing. From the New York Times bestselling author of Chasing the Scream and Lost Connections comes a groundbreaking examination of why this is happening—and how to get our attention back. “The book the world needs in order to win the war on distraction.”—Adam Grant, author of Think Again “Read this book to save your mind.”—Susan Cain, author of Quiet   WINNER OF THE PORCHLIGHT BUSINESS BOOK AWARD • ONE OF THE BEST BOOKS OF THE YEAR: The Wall Street Journal, Financial Times, New York Post, Mashable, Mindful In the United States, teenagers can focus on one task for only sixty-five seconds at a time, and office workers average only three minutes. Like so many of us, Johann Hari was finding that constantly switching from device to device and tab to tab was a diminishing and depressing way to live. He tried all sorts of self-help solutions—even abandoning his phone for three months—but nothing seemed to work. So Hari went on an epic journey across the world to interview the leading experts on human attention—and he discovered that everything we think we know about this crisis is wrong.   We think our inability to focus is a personal failure to exert enough willpower over our devices. The truth is even more disturbing: our focus has been stolen by powerful external forces that have left us uniquely vulnerable to corporations determined to raid our attention for profit. Hari found that there are twelve deep causes of this crisis, from the decline of mind-wandering to rising pollution, all of which have robbed some of our attention. In Stolen Focus, he introduces readers to Silicon Valley dissidents who learned to hack human attention, and veterinarians who diagnose dogs with ADHD. He explores a favela in Rio de Janeiro where everyone lost their attention in a particularly surreal way, and an office in New Zealand that discovered a remarkable technique to restore workers’ productivity.   Crucially, Hari learned how we can reclaim our focus—as individuals, and as a society—if we are determined to fight for it. Stolen Focus will transform the debate about attention and finally show us how to get it back.

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Personal Development

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Time Management

Johann Hari

Stolen Focus

1.	The Power of Behavioral Science	2.	The Role of Scarcity in Decision-Making	3.	How Anchoring Affects Choices	4.	The Influence of Social Proof	5.	The Decoy Effect	6.	The Use of Priming in Marketing	7.	The Impact of Availability Heuristics	8.	The Authority Bias	9.	The Halo Effect	10.	The Power of Defaults	11.	Loss Aversion and Its Impact	12.	The Endowment Effect	13.	The Power of Emotional Triggers	14.	The Impact of Framing	15.	The Role of Habit in Consumer Behavior	16.	The Importance of Context in Decision-Making

Topics You’ll Master Today

Behavioral science reveals that our choices are often influenced by hidden forces. By understanding these forces, businesses can shape consumer behavior more effectively. 	“People are predictably irrational, which means their choices can be influenced in predictable ways.”

The Power of Behavioral Science

Scarcity triggers a fear of missing out, pushing consumers to act quickly. It’s a powerful tool to drive urgency in purchasing decisions. 	“When something is scarce, we assume it’s valuable, even if that’s not necessarily true.”

The Role of Scarcity in Decision Making

Anchoring involves setting a reference point that influences subsequent decisions. Once anchored, people often make judgments relative to that point. 	“Your first piece of information serves as an anchor, skewing all subsequent judgments.”

How Anchoring Affects Choices

Social proof leverages the behavior of others to influence decisions. When people see others doing something, they’re more likely to follow suit. 	“We’re social creatures; we look to others to decide how to behave, especially in uncertainty.”

The Influence of Social Proof

The Decoy Effect introduces a third, less attractive option to nudge people towards a preferred choice. It’s a subtle but effective way to guide decisions. 	“A less attractive option can make another option seem more appealing by comparison.”

The Decoy Effect

Priming involves subtly guiding a person’s thoughts to influence their decisions. It’s about setting the stage for a particular response without the person realizing it. 	“Your mind can be primed to make certain choices, often without your awareness.”

The Role of Priming In Marketing

Availability heuristics rely on immediate examples that come to mind. If something can be easily recalled, people tend to believe it’s more common or likely. 	“We judge the probability of events by how easily examples come to mind.”

The Impact of Availability Heuristics

Authority bias occurs when we attribute greater accuracy to the opinion of an authority figure. This bias can be exploited to persuade and influence decisions. 	“When an expert speaks, we’re more likely to listen and comply, often without question.”

The Authority Bias

The Halo Effect is the tendency to let one positive trait influence overall judgment. It can make a product or person seem better than they actually are. 	“A single positive trait can cast a ‘halo’ that influences how we perceive everything about someone or something.”

The Halo Effect

Defaults are pre-set options that people are more likely to choose because they require the least effort. Companies use defaults to steer consumer behavior effectively. 	“Most people stick with the default option, making it a powerful tool in shaping choices.”

The Power of Defaults

Loss aversion is the tendency to prefer avoiding losses rather than acquiring gains. It’s a fundamental principle that influences many decisions. 	“We fear loss more than we value gain, which often drives our decision-making.”

Loss Aversion & Its Impact

The Endowment Effect describes how people value things more highly simply because they own them. This can lead to irrational attachment to possessions. 	“Ownership increases perceived value, making it harder to part with what we have.”

The Endowment Effect

Emotions play a crucial role in decision-making. Marketing that taps into emotions can significantly influence consumer behavior. 	“Decisions are often made based on emotions first, then justified with logic.”

The Power of Emotional Triggers

Framing involves presenting the same information in different ways to influence decisions. The way a choice is framed can change perceptions and outcomes. 	“The way a choice is presented can significantly alter how it’s perceived and acted upon.”

The Impact of Framing

Habits drive a significant portion of our decisions. Once a behavior becomes a habit, it’s challenging to change, making it a powerful force in consumer behavior. 	“Habits are automatic responses that guide much of our daily behavior without conscious thought.”

The Role of Habit in Consumer Behaviour

Context shapes how we interpret information and make decisions. Even subtle changes in the environment can lead to different choices. 	“The environment in which a decision is made can be as influential as the decision itself.”

The Importance of Context in Decision-making

1.	Behavioral science reveals hidden forces shaping our choices.	2.	Scarcity drives urgency and decision-making.	3.	Anchoring sets a reference point, skewing judgments.	4.	Social proof leverages others’ behavior to influence us.	5.	The Decoy Effect subtly guides us towards preferred choices.	6.	Priming sets the stage for certain responses.	7.	Availability heuristics influence probability judgments.	8.	Authority bias makes us trust experts blindly.	9.	The Halo Effect impacts overall judgment from one trait.

10.	Defaults steer consumer choices with minimal effort.	11.	Loss aversion makes us fear loss more than value gain.	12.	The Endowment Effect increases perceived value through ownership.	13.	Emotional triggers guide decisions beyond logic.	14.	Framing alters perception and outcomes.	15.	Habits drive automatic, unconscious decisions.	16.	Context is crucial in shaping decision-making.

It took millions of years for man's instincts to develop. It will take millions more for them to even vary. It is fashionable to talk about changing man. A communicator must be concerned with unchanging man, with his obsessive drive to survive, to be admired, to succeed, to love, to take care of his own.

Discover how subtle psychological tactics shape your choices in Richard Shotton's *The Illusion of Choice.*

The compelling new book by Richard Shotton, author of The Choice Factory. Every day, people make hundreds of choices. Many of these are commercial: What shampoo to pick? How much to spend on a bottle of wine? Whether to renew a subscription? These choices might appear to be freely made, but psychologists have shown that subtle changes in the way products are positioned, promoted and marketed can radically alter how customers behave. The Illusion of Choice identifies the 16½ most important psychological biases that everyone in business needs to be aware of today – and shows how any business can take advantage of these to win customers, retain customers and sell more. Richard Shotton, author of the acclaimed The Choice Factory, draws on academic research, previous ad campaigns and his own original field studies to create a fascinating and highly practical guide that focuses on the point where marketing meets the mind of the customer. You’ll learn to take advantage of the peak end rule, the power of precision, the wisdom of wit – and much, much more. You simply cannot afford to miss The Illusion of Choice.

Discover the world of business and economics.

economics

Economics

marketingandsales

Marketing & Sales

scienceandnature

Science & Nature

Richard Shotton

The Illusion of Choice

<ul><li>One's ego differs depending on the way one was brought up, the place where one grew up, the country, etc.</li><li>Ego to a healthy degree can help in achieving goals and generally things we want to gain.</li><li>However, ego makes us selfish, not thinking of others, and also makes us vulnerable to manipulation, as we will seek ways that satisfy our ego.</li></ul>If someone: 1. Is 'absorbed' in who they are 2. They have a need to share their opinion but not listen to others 3. They are emotionally attached to their beliefs. Then ego speaks.

1. Ego

Psychological projection: Projection of ideas or feelings onto something or someone.You see the world from your perspective, not as it really is. When you see someone, you don't see them as they really are, how they actually behave. We know very little about others in reality. When you see someone, you know very little about them.Carl Jung said, We have 3 personalities: 1. How we present ourselves to others. 2. Our character that we don't know we have. 3. The real you. The whole real us.

2. Projection

<ul><li>People live in a world of their own, or bubbles. They don't think alike.</li><li>People's way of thinking benefits them, or at least they think it does. For example, he thinks smoking is good for him because of stress, but it's actually bad for him.</li><li>People live in bubbles; that's why they are obsessed with their ideas/opinions. They think that this is the reality</li></ul>How to get rid of it: 1. You have to reduce the Ego.2. You have to learn other perspectives.3. You don't have to defend everything; it's just your perspective, not the truth.

3. People Live In Bubbles

Humans are social animals. People need a sense of belonging because they feel safe. The need to belong is very strong. That's why many people can be manipulated through group thinking (e.g. the Charles Manson case) because they don't want to be rejected by the group. However, the intense need to belong can lead you; <ul><li>to think less objectively and affect you negatively.</li><li> You also become more easily vulnerable to manipulation and losing yourself. </li></ul>-This doesn't mean that you shouldn't step out of your comfort zone, but be careful not to be too eager to fit in.

4. The Need For Belonging

The scarcity mindset is the frame of mind where something is not enough, in short supply, or there are not many opportunities. <ul><li>This scarcity mentality will be elevated in countries where the most 'valuable' things exist. </li><li>If you understand someone who has this way of thinking, you can also understand why they do what they do, e.g., 'There is not much time' or 'there are not many opportunities' </li><li>Marketing is using that mindset, e.g., Black Friday deals, we have to get them before they are gone! </li></ul>More generally, you can see the scarcity mentality in small things that others do and in yourself.

5.Scarsity Mindset

Essentially, self-sabotage is when you sabotage yourself from achieving a particular goal, usually because of fear of failure.<ul><li>Self-sabotage is common; if you don't stop it, it will be like going in circles.</li><li>Most people don't realize they are self-sabotaging.</li></ul>To overcome it; 1. you need to see and envision what you want to be (with a realistic purpose).2.Then you need to think about how you are going to achieve it.3. Try to adopt it as a part of yourself.4. You have to step out of your comfort zone.In what ways do you prevent yourself from achieving a goal? How can you change that?

6. Self - Sabotage

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Learning & Education

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Videos

The Understanding People Series 1 (1.-7.)

The paradox is that hedonism, the pursuit of pleasure for its own sake, leads to anhedonia, which is the inability to enjoy pleasure of any kind.

INSTANT NEW YORK TIMES and LOS ANGELES TIMES BESTSELLER “Brilliant . . . riveting, scary, cogent, and cleverly argued.”—Beth Macy, author of Dopesick, as heard on Fresh Air This book is about pleasure. It’s also about pain. Most important, it’s about how to find the delicate balance between the two, and why now more than ever finding balance is essential. We’re living in a time of unprecedented access to high-reward, high-dopamine stimuli: drugs, food, news, gambling, shopping, gaming, texting, sexting, Facebooking, Instagramming, YouTubing, tweeting . . . The increased numbers, variety, and potency is staggering. The smartphone is the modern-day hypodermic needle, delivering digital dopamine 24/7 for a wired generation. As such we’ve all become vulnerable to compulsive overconsumption.   In Dopamine Nation, Dr. Anna Lembke, psychiatrist and author, explores the exciting new scientific discoveries that explain why the relentless pursuit of pleasure leads to pain . . . and what to do about it. Condensing complex neuroscience into easy-to-understand metaphors, Lembke illustrates how finding contentment and connectedness means keeping dopamine in check. The lived experiences of her patients are the gripping fabric of her narrative. Their riveting stories of suffering and redemption give us all hope for managing our consumption and transforming our lives. In essence, Dopamine Nation shows that the secret to finding balance is combining the science of desire with the wisdom of recovery.

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Mindfulness

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Health

Dr. Anna Lembke is an accomplished writer whose work has resonated with readers around the world. Dr. Anna Lembke has published several books that explore a range of topics, from fiction to nonfiction, and has received critical acclaim for the ability to weave compelling narratives. Dr. Anna Lembke's writing style is known for its depth and authenticity, and has earned quite a loyal following of readers.

Dr. Anna Lembke

Dopamine Nation

Attachment often begins as a connection that brings warmth and comfort, but it can evolve into a dependence that distances us from our true selves.

Attachment Defined

We often attach ourselves to people, objects, or ideas because they give us a false sense of security, masking our inner vulnerabilities.

The Illusion of Security

Over time, attachment can lead to emotional dependency, where our happiness and identity become tied to something or someone external.

Emotional Dependency

In the process of attaching, we may start to neglect our own needs, desires, and growth, prioritizing the attachment over ourselves.

Self-Neglect

Attachment brings with it the fear of losing the object of our attachment, which can create anxiety and a constant state of unrest.

The Fear of Loss

As we become more attached, our identity begins to shift, blending with the object of our attachment, leading to a loss of self-awareness.

Identity Shift

The more we attach, the more we detach from our inner selves, creating a cycle where we continually seek external validation and comfort.

The Cycle of Attachment

To avoid losing ourselves, it’s essential to practice mindful attachment—where we connect deeply but remain grounded in our own identity.

Mindful Attachment

Setting healthy boundaries in relationships and with material possessions can prevent attachment from turning into a source of self-detachment.

Healthy Boundaries

The journey of rediscovering oneself often begins with recognizing the attachments that have led to self-neglect and consciously choosing to reconnect with our inner being.

Rediscovering Self

Non-attachment doesn’t mean disconnecting entirely but rather finding balance, where we can love and connect without losing ourselves in the process.

Embracing Non-Attachment

"True connection is not about losing yourself in another, but about finding yourself amidst the connection."

Discovering the Fine Line Between Connection and Self-Loss

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Mental Health

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Love & Relationships

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Longevity

The Paradox of Attachment: Losing Yourself in the Process

I always loved Japanese culture because it is so distant from ours. But it isn’t just me.In the last few years, Japanese culture has greatly impacted our society. It started with anime like Dragon Ball and Gundam. And it’s growing bigger with authors like Murakami (one of my favorites).I fell in love with the mysticism of this spiritual culture. And I started to consume a lot of content about it.I found many things that caught my attention and made me grow. Ikigai was one of these things. And I’m trying to apply it wherever I can in my life.

The Spirit of Japan

Ikigai means “a reason for being” and represents one of the few concepts of the flow of life we have long forgotten.In Western societies, we have the concept of purpose. It should be a driving force that motivates you to achieve your goals. But ikigai doesn’t only focus on goals.A purpose often remains a dream if you don’t create a practical plan. But ikigai is never a dream. Ikigai shows you your reason for being in the world according to your strengths and weaknesses.It’s a roadmap for a happy and fulfilling life. But you have to complete it honestly to get something out of it.

What is Ikigai?

Following your ikigai means aligning the four main fields of your life:<ul><li class="ql-align-justify">what you love</li><li class="ql-align-justify">what the world needs</li><li class="ql-align-justify">what you can be paid for</li><li class="ql-align-justify">and what you are good at.</li></ul>And if you ever read about ikigai, you might have already seen this graphic.

Ikigai: The 4 Fields of Life (1)

You are reading an excerpt from <a href="https://cosmopolitanmindset.substack.com/">The Challenge</a>, a newsletter where I discuss self-improvement, goal-setting, habits, time management, and health tips and tricks.Every week, you will get the following:<ul><li class="ql-align-justify">a challenge to pursue to improve your life</li><li class="ql-align-justify">an infographic to track it.</li></ul><a href="https://cosmopolitanmindset.substack.com/subscribe">Subscribe now</a> and start your first challenge.

The Challenge

As you can see, when you only consider two fields, you get four values you should always be aware of:<ol><li class="ql-align-justify">Passion = what you love + what you are good at</li><li class="ql-align-justify">Mission = what you love + what the world needs</li><li class="ql-align-justify">Profession = what you are good at + what you can be paid for</li><li class="ql-align-justify">Vocation = what you can be paid for + what the world needs</li></ol>

Ikigai: The 4 Fields of Life (2)

Living by these values can be satisfying for a while. But it will never be fulfilling. And even if you use three of the four fields, the results won’t change much:<ol><li class="ql-align-justify">Without something you can be paid for, you will feel happy and fulfilled but have no wealth.</li><li class="ql-align-justify">Without something you are good at, you will feel excited and self-approval but have a lot of uncertainty.</li><li class="ql-align-justify">Without something you love, you will feel comfortable but empty.</li><li class="ql-align-justify">And without something the world needs, you will be satisfied but useless.</li></ol>Therefore, to find your ikigai, you must find and master all four fields of your life.

Ikigai: The 4 Fields of Life (3)

Héctor Garcia and Francesc Miralles wrote the popular book Ikigai: The Japanese Secret to a Long and Happy Life.Now, we’ve already seen ikigai’s meaning and how it works. You can read the book to know how to live a longer and happier life. So, I will focus on using ikigai to build better goals.<ol><li class="ql-align-justify">Follow your ikigai</li><li class="ql-align-justify">Give thanks</li><li class="ql-align-justify">Don’t fill your stomach</li><li class="ql-align-justify">Stay active, don’t retire</li><li class="ql-align-justify">Take it slow</li><li class="ql-align-justify">Surround yourself with friends</li><li class="ql-align-justify">Reconnect with nature</li><li class="ql-align-justify">Smile</li><li class="ql-align-justify">Live in the moment</li><li class="ql-align-justify">Get in shape for your next birthday</li></ol>Let’s see how to transform these rules to build better goals.

The 10 Rules of Ikigai

The purpose is only a quarter of your ikigai. But when you think about your goals, motivation plays a big role. And having a strong purpose is fundamental to feeding it.<a href="https://www.cosmopolitanmindset.com/the-hidden-reason-you-havent-found-your-life-purpose-yet/">Search for your purpose </a>if you haven’t found it yet.

1 — Follow your purpose.

According to Garcia and Miralles, you should always thank those who supported you. So, when you reach a goal, thank yourself and those who were by your side.Celebrate your wins and achievements. You deserved it.

2 — Celebrate your achievements.

I know I built a terrible goal when I reached it, but ignore what comes next.Your goals should always have a next step. So, leave them open. Think of the bigger picture. And keep yourself in movement.

3 — Never build self-closing goals.

Once you reach a goal, it becomes easier to reproduce that same success. And with time, your routine will stagnate if you don’t challenge yourself with greater challenges.Try something new. Try something bigger. Search for new stimuli. It will fire up your motivation.

4 — Search for a greater challenge.

Sometimes, I work more on a goal because I feel the adrenaline rushing. Maybe I’m excited about a new project or I found some spare motivation.I work double the hours or even more. And then, the next day, I’m so exhausted I skip. But it shouldn’t work like this.You can delay your excitement until the next day. Value consistency over quantity. And you will never burn out.

5 — Don’t burn out.

A good friend can serve many purposes.Some friends will support you when you’re feeling down. Others will help you reach your goals. And others can do both.You can ask your friends to become your accountability system — they will do a great job. A true friend wants the best for you. So, they won’t miss a chance to tell you to focus on your goals if you ask them.

6 — Find accountable friends.

When you think you need a break, it’s already too late. And it would help if you had done it long before.Breaks are essential for your mind and body to keep doing their best. So, you can just plan your break with the same care you schedule your tasks if you are serious about your goals.Start with a <a href="https://cosmopolitanmindset.substack.com/p/unplug-and-reconnect-the-24-hour">24-Hour Do Nothing Challenge </a>, for example.

7 — Take some time off.

In my experience, I’ve noticed there are two types of goals:<ul><li class="ql-align-justify">those you pick out of greed</li><li class="ql-align-justify">and those that make you happy.</li></ul>The only difference between them is that greedy goals have lost their reward. And that’s a feature of goals you have prolonged for too much. So, you should rethink them and understand the reward you’ll get from reaching them.Is it worth your time?

8 — Pick goals that make you happy.

Do you ever try to understand if you will reach your goals?I often calculate the weekly and monthly average, multiply it by the missing time, and try to foresee if I will succeed. And although this is an efficient way to understand if it’s going great or if you need more work, it could also become dangerous.Don’t focus too much on how easily you will reach your goal. You will lose a lot of time you could have used otherwise.

9 — Limit your projection greed.

We always reward ourselves with a guilty pleasure for our birthday. But we have never thought of a greater reward — a bit of <a href="https://www.cosmopolitanmindset.com/delayed-gratification-to-help-improve-your-life/">delayed gratification </a>.So, next time you set a goal, set the deadline next to your birthday. Give yourself this big gift. And you will work with re-found motivation.

10 — Complete a goal for your next birthday.

I can’t ask you to live a life that aligns with your ikigai starting from tomorrow. Your ikigai is something you will find with time and will evolve.But I can ask you another thing.Next time you set a goal, follow these ten ikigai rules I showed you. And I can guarantee you will build a more balanced and easy-to-reach goal.[<a href="https://cosmopolitanmindset.substack.com/p/how-to-use-your-ikigai-to-build-better-goals">DOWNLOAD</a> THE FREE INFOGRAPHIC]

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Before You Go

Build better goals with Ikigai! Learn how to harness your Ikigai to create purposeful and achievable goals. Discover the path to a fulfilling and balanced life today!

How To Use Your Ikigai To Build Better Goals

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