Dymphna Lanjuran's Key Ideas from How to Love Better
by Yung Pueblo

Communication is the lifeline of relationships.

• Misunderstandings often stem from unclear or reactive speech.
• Speaking with honesty, gentleness, and openness allows space for deeper emotional intimacy and mutual respect.

Tip: Honest, kind, and frequent communication builds trust.

Example: Instead of saying, “You always ignore me,” try “I feel unheard when you’re on your phone during our talks.”

Even the strongest love can be shaken by cruelty or carelessness.

• Kindness isn’t weakness - it’s strength expressed through empathy.
• Small acts of kindness can have a lasting impact, especially during moments of tension.

Tip: Even in conflict, treat your partner with tenderness.

Example: A disagreement doesn’t need to become a battlefield - choose respect over winning.

Lasting love isn’t static.

• It thrives when both individuals are committed to evolving - not just individually, but together.
• A healthy relationship becomes a safe space for change, learning, and mutual inspiration.

Tip: Relationships flourish when both individuals support each other’s evolution.

Example: Encourage each other to pursue new interests, attend therapy, or reflect on goals.

Some relationships complete their purpose and are not meant to last forever.

• Holding on out of fear or habit can be more damaging than lovingly letting go.
• True love respects timing and truth.

Tip: Some connections aren’t meant to last forever, and that’s okay.

Example: Ending a relationship that hinders your well-being is an act of self-respect, not failure.

Attachment often comes from fear, whereas love comes from freedom.

• Learning to love without control allows deeper trust and mutual respect.
• Detaching from the need to possess someone opens space for real connection.

Tip: Love without clinging; let people be free while staying connected.

Example: Supporting your partner’s solo travel or dreams without feeling abandoned.

Gratitude keeps you grounded in what is good, even in moments of struggle.

• When you regularly express appreciation, you strengthen the bond and shift focus from what’s missing to what’s present.

Tip: Gratitude nurtures appreciation and keeps love alive.

Example: A simple “thank you for listening” after a hard day shows you notice their efforts.

Conflict is inevitable, but resolution is a choice.

• Seeking perfection creates pressure; building harmony invites patience and forgiveness.
• Healthy love accepts flaws and focuses on repair and re-connection.

Tip: Conflict is natural; what matters is how you repair it.

Example: After a disagreement, check in: “Can we talk about what happened earlier with a calm heart?”

Love isn’t just a feeling - it’s a commitment, a verb, a conscious decision.

• It’s built and rebuilt every day through care, attention, and presence.
• The small daily actions matter more than grand gestures.

Tip: Loving better is a lifelong journey, not a final destination.

Example: Daily acts of care - like making coffee or checking in emotionally - build connection over time.